We all have patterns of communication that are shaped by our experience, our upbringing, and our personality.  Sometimes we make excuses for ourselves: “That’s just the way I am.”  “It always comes out like that.”  “If people want to get upset, that’s their problem.”  Sometimes we worry about the number of broken relationships that are strewn behind us, but mostly we just shrug and move on.

The reality is that you can change the way you communicate – or at least broaden your skills, and as a result you will find more satisfaction in your relationships (both business and social), and a smoother path to your goals.

Can YOU Communicate Well With EVERYONE You Meet?

When I was in my teens, I was bullied.  It was so traumatic that my parents moved me to a new school.  From that time onward my perception about women, and my communications with them were pretty messed up and my ability to understand and communicate with them was fairly limited.  I boxed myself into a certain way of talking to them – if it worked out well, then we got on with each other, if they had a different style of communication it didn’t.

As I said to myself, “There are plenty of men around to work with, and enough women whom I do get on with, so who cares?” and I was really OK with that attitude most of the time.  As I matured I realised that it wasn’t just women I had difficulty communicating with – there were certain men as well, but that was OK because I knew lots of other people had the same sort of issues.

It still wasn’t a real problem, because I did just fine with most people, and could cobble things together, but one day I had a client who was a real challenge.  I had this fantastic sponsorship opportunity handed to me through this woman’s boss and it was great, except that I had to work with Cynthia – and we just did not get on.  We finished the project and it was a success, but working with Cynthia was an incredibly stressful experience for me – and for her, I imagine.

It was then I started to realise how important communication was if I wanted to make my life easy and fun, and I started to look for tools to make communication easier.

Resourceful Communication Leads to Positive Relationships

Do You Want to Make Your Life Easier and More Fun?  Most people I know do, and it sounds good to me!  As I mentioned above, for a long time I thought I was an ‘OK’ communicator (which I was), and that that was the best I could expect – but then I stumbled across Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).  Apart from being fascinated by the neurology side of things, and the processes that changed my thinking and my life, I was also excited by the possibilities for expanding my communication toolkit.

I realised that I (and most of my friends, family, and colleagues) were singularly unresourceful when it came to communicating with people who were not like us.  However, I also discovered that there was something I could do about it.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches a variety of techniques to help you communicate better.  Many of them are just common sense, and great communicators through the ages have used them to win agreement and sway crowds, as well as to smooth the path of their private interactions.  The problem is, they’re not commonly taught and most of the world doesn’t learn how to communicate effectively to a variety of people.

Imagine Your Life Without Misunderstanding!

Play a game with me for a minute.  What would happen if you could pick the perfect way to speak and interact with everyone you met, so that they would immediately feel attracted to you, and desire to please you?  Would that make life easier when you checked in at the airport?  When you talked to the car sales man?  When you disagreed with a colleague?  When you were meeting with a client or prospect?

I know it makes an enormous difference when I make the effort to develop rapport using the tools Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) provides.  When I am able to manage my communications so that the other person really hears my words no matter how different we are then life becomes much easier.  When I can sift through the words they speak, and hear what another person is really saying, then suddenly a lot of misunderstandings simply vanish – both in business and in your personal life.

We Are ResourceFUL When We Have Resources

What communication resources do you have at your disposal?  Many people have only one style of communication, and sometimes you’ll hear them say, “That’s just me. I can’t help it if others get upset.”  Look, I get that.  But what if expanding your communication repertoire builds your circle of friends, or your work opportunities … You’d be willing to flex a little bit, wouldn’t you?

Here are just a few of the resources you can use to expand your repertoire: –

  • Observation – could you make the other person comfortable by varying your speed and style of delivery?
  • Eye Patterns – are you using the right metaphors and language to appeal to this person?
  • Language – are you appealing to their preferred internal representation system?
  • Mannerisms – could you attract their attention by using bigger gestures, or smaller ones?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches all of these and more.  We cover them at one level in our 2-day Confident Closing Workshop, and our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner Trainings delve deeper into them, equipping you to communicate successfully with individuals and groups in any context.

The primary reason for building your communication repertoire is simply that it will make your life smoother and more fun if you don’t keep coming up against prickly personalities who drive you crazy – you’ll still meet them, but you’ll be able to deal with them productively and pleasantly.

Meta Description:  How often do you sabotage a relationship because you are intent on doing things ‘your way’ or not at all? Being resourceful in the way you communicate with others can change your life.

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