… but you can change that.
“The only person over whom you can and should have total control is yourself. Don’t give that autonomy away… especially to people you don’t like.”
Have you ever said things like,
- “I will clean the bathroom when my husband stops leaving his toothpaste on the bench?”
- “I will wash the dishes when my kids stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink.”
- “I will forgive my mum when she apologises for making my life hell.”
- “I will talk to my brother when he stops telling lies about me.”
- “I will raise my prices when the economy improves.”
Ok, so your version may be slightly different to the examples above and could well involve serious physical and emotional harm, but I hope they’ve got you thinking about the ways that you are making your transformation dependent on someone who doesn’t care about your happiness or doesn’t realise that you are dependent on them for happiness.
If you often say things like this, then you are dangerously vulnerable because you have made your happiness dependent on someone over whom you have no control. Even worse, that ‘someone’ is often either impersonal (“the economy”), uninterested in whether you write a bestseller or not (“your kids”), or potentially malicious (the perpetrator).