communication Archives | Page 9 of 10

#TuesdayTips

In my last post I talked about the importance of understanding how you see the world, and how other people see it in order to communicate with them effectively. Today I’m going to share some pointers which will help you identify what the internal representation system of another person is. If your offer is truly unique and compelling, or you have something that your prospect wants desperately enough then it won’t matter how you present it, but if there is any doubt in their mind then failing to pick up on their internal representation system, and to speak to it could be a deal-breaker.

As I mentioned, there are four primary internal representation systems: – Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, and Auditory-digital.

Visual:

A visual person is concerned with how things look and appearance is an important part of what drives the decision making process. As I mentioned, I’m a visual person – if you don’t provide me with a visual prompt you can lose my interest, and lose the deal.

How do you recognise a visual person?

They talk rather quickly;
They usually stand or sit up straight;
They breathe up in their chest (because they’re talking too fast to breath deeply into their belly);
They care about how things look, and they want to see pictures;
Their speech is full of visual words like: – see, look, view, appear, show, clear, imagine.

A visual person will often use phrases like “Can you see what I’m saying?” or “It appears to me that …”, “That’s really brilliant, I can really see where you’re coming from.” “I just need to get some clarity on that.” because their visual senses are extremely active.

Auditory:

An auditory person is concerned with what they hear, and will make decisions based on that. They love music and they’re usually the kind of person who will hear something once and know all the words to the song, remember a tune, learn by ear. They’ll want to hear all about your program – and a written version won’t have the same impact.

How do you recognise an auditory person?

They talk at medium speed – slower than a visual person, but faster than a kinaesthetic person;
They breath about half-way down their chest – deeper than a visual person, not as deep as a kinaesthetic person;
They have flexible tonality in their voices and rarely talk in a monotone;
Their eyes will often move from side-to-side while they’re talking because they’re trying to construct what they’re saying and they’re recalling what they’ve said or heard;
They use auditory words like: hear, sound, listen, resonate, question.

Do you see how powerful understanding this is? If you know your own internal representation strategy, and can identify the ones that others are use, you’ll pick up on their cues much more readily. When you find someone who shares your own system, you can go ahead and sell as though you were selling to yourself, but if you find someone different you can modify your strategy. That way you’ll close many more sales.

Kinaesthetic:

A kinaesthetic person is mostly pre-occupied with how they feel. They will often take a long time to move through the sales process, and you may wonder if they’re just a tyre kicker after all. They are probably the group most likely to do business with other kinaesthetic communicators because they are operating on their ‘gut feeling’ and need to feel a strong sense of attraction to move forwards.

How do you recognise a kinaesthetic person?

They talk and move quite slowly;
They breathe deeply – right down in their belly;
They take their time over things and hate to be rushed;
They need time to ‘feel’ that something is right;
They use words like: feel, touch, catch on, solid, grasp.

Your kinaesthetic person hates to be rushed and will walk away from a deal that is otherwise perfect if they feel they are being pushed into it. If you are selling to a kinaesthetic person you need to be patient and persistent because it’s not that they’re uninterested, it’s just that it takes time for them to get comfortable with the concept or product you’re offering to them.

Auditory Digital:

People with Auditory-digital internal representation schemes usually have a strong secondary scheme, which is the thing you should be looking for. Auditory-digital people spend a lot of time in self talk – sometimes they communicate with themselves so clearly that they think they’ve actually already told you things, that they just said to themselves.

How do you recognise an auditory-digital person?

They will often have their eyes down because they are talking to themselves;
They are very analytical, if you’re lucky they’ll speak their analysis out loud even though they’re talking to themselves rather than to you;
They usually have a backup sense, which is what you should look for;
They use words like: experience, understand, think, process, consider, know.

Auditory-digital processors can sometimes be the hardest group to sell to because they need to convince themselves before they can accept your input.

The point of understanding both your own, and your customer’s internal representation systems is that it’s not about you! You need to focus on your customer and what they want to hear and what they want to know.

If you’re in the situation where you’re thinking. “This is not working for me right now and I feel like I’ve tried everything.” Ask yourself if you really have tried everything. Are you trying to communicate in the way you prefer, or the way they prefer? The difference between the person crying over there and the person having a crappy day is what you do with it – NLP gives you tool to do things differently.

Have you ever noticed this? When you look back on deals you might have lost could it be because you weren’t appealing to the right internal representation system?

Leave a comment below and let me know if you agree with this idea.

Meta Description: The four primary internal representation systems and how you can identify them and use your understanding to change your business outcomes.

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#TuesdayTips

I’m naturally quite a visual person. A few years ago I met with someone who was going to do a social media strategy for me. She charges about $1200 a month and I’d heard wonderful things about her, so I thought it was all going to be really fantastic and I was ready to go ahead with the solution. We had a successful meeting and I was very happy with our discussion, so at the end of the meeting I said, “Look, if you can just send me a one page document, with three or four bullet points on everything that we just talked about, I can sign off on it and we’ll get started.”

She never did send me the document, so we never started the work. I couldn’t run my decision making strategy because I needed to see it there in front of me. It was a 12 month contract, so she cost herself quite a bit of money because she didn’t provide me with a one-page outline. I even made the point of saying, “It doesn’t need to be a fancy proposal, just three or four dot points outlining in writing what we discussed today so I can sign off on it.”

The woman that was selling me the social media strategy was an auditory person. From her perspective, she had told me all I needed to know to make a decision. I don’t know if went away and said, “I can’t understand why Chandell didn’t sign up, because she told me she had all of the things that she needed, but I’m going to be a victim about the fact that I didn’t get the sale.” A lot of sales people do respond that way when the sale doesn’t go through, when in actual fact she wasn’t listening hard enough – I told her what I needed from her to make the decision and really I wasn’t asking her for all that much. In the context of it, if I’m going to spend $1200 a month for 12 months it’s a fair bit of money to spend to get three dot points on a sheet of paper.

As far as she was concerned, we’d gone over the system verbally and I’d agreed, so there was no more to be done. Some people work like that. I don’t. It’s not wrong, it’s just different.

The point is we all see things differently because we have different Internal Representation Systems, and if you can get your head around this concept you won’t be leaving money on the table, just because you didn’t communicate in the way another person prefers (or requires).

Internal Representation Systems - A Powerful Tool

A number of workshop participants find that the insights they gain from this section are game-changers. In the Confident Closing workshops we have a short quiz that indicates your strongest internal representation system. The thing I always stress is that this system is not set in stone for anyone – it varies from day to day, and ideally as you increase your awareness you’ll be able to use all the internal representation systems fairly equally. This is part of becoming a more flexible communicator.

What I want to stress here, is that this is not a boxed system, and you shouldn’t put yourself (or anyone else) in a box. If you were to evaluate your answers to the quiz they’d change from day to day – this is simply a tool to help you understand yourself and others better, and to help you communicate more clearly.

Basically there are four internal representation systems, and we all use all four of them to a greater or lesser extent. It really is important to understand that we don’t have just one Internal Representation System, and we can strengthen them all, because a few years ago this concept was taken into the classroom in the form of Learning Styles with the idea that every child was either one thing or another, and that you could blame their lack of progress on a teacher who didn’t teach to their particular style.

This is so very opposed to everything I believe that I have to stress the point here. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is about growth, and about taking responsibility for your outcomes. You are not a victim of anyone as long as you are learning and growing.

The four internal representation systems are: – Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, and Auditory-Digital. In the next post, I’ll outline how you can recognise the primary characteristics of these systems, but right now I really want to stress that as a business owner or sales person you need to be able to use all of these systems depending on the person you are talking to. Think about it as another skill you want to develop to make your relationships stronger and more successful.

Do you think that your communication style is fixed and inflexible? Or do you see this as yet another area in which you have potential to grow? Leave a comment below to let us know what you think.

Meta Description: How the way you see the world affects your communication with others – and how understanding the way this works can change your business outcomes.

#TuesdayTips

I see sales people and business owners all the time who assume they know exactly what their prospects and clients want. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes not.

If you think that people aren’t biting on the bait you’re putting out because you’re not getting the words right, think again. That may be the reason, but what if it’s not? It always pays off to examine other possibilities.

Most people will tell you exactly what they need and are listening for if you listen carefully enough. Sometimes I do role plays with my clients where I actually get them to sell to me and it’s really interesting watching them just make assumptions about what my needs might be rather than spending some time asking me questions.

If you believe that you listen to others, then ask yourself how often do you actually hear what’s being said in response? That is the truly important thing, because often we think we’re listening, but we actually have a conversation going on inside our head while the other person is talking, “Oh my God, he said that! I must have to bring the conversation around to this other thing,” and before I know it I’ve missed half of what he said.

We make assumptions like this with our clients all the time – we assume what it is that they need, and what we think they want and what they should have and all that sort of thing. And we ignore the reality that we aren’t the one that needs to get them to the point of decision – they need to get themselves there based on the things that you’re saying.

When you’re selling you’re influencing and it’s the art of influence, it’s not the art of beating others into submission. So I use the metaphor that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink, and the way people sometimes go about trying to sell to their clients, it’s like they’re dragging the horses and they’ve shoving their head in the water – drown or buy! But a better way is to give your clients a thirst – feeding them salt so that by the time we’ve led them to the water they’re thirsty enough to drink.

If you were a Travel Agent in a situation where you’d looking to give people information about a holiday, you could make an assumption that they want to do some really great tours and that might not actually be what they’re looking for. Some people love tours, but when I go travelling, the last thing I want to do is get on a bus with a whole bunch of people and be tied to the schedule when it’s time to go to the next place, because if I’ve seen that then I’m done and I want to move on. Or perhaps I want to stay here a little bit longer and have a look for a little bit longer, I don’t want to be on somebody else’s watch.

If you asked the right questions, you’d work this out and you might suggest some private tours which I’d probably be happy to pay more for because I would enjoy myself a lot more than if I was being dragged around.

So if you ask me. “How is it that you decided you were going to visit America this year?”

I might respond “Well, I always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, there’s something about it that just kind of draws me there. I get caught up in the idea of going to this wondrous place and I imagine that the energy there is absolutely amazing and breath-taking and I just really want to be able to experience that.”

That gives you the opportunity to ask more questions, “So what’s important to you about the experience, or what activities do you really want to take part in? and, Do you want to do the Grand Canyon by foot or do you want to do it by helicopter? What sort of experience is important to you? Have you given any thought to that?”

The chances are I’ll respond, “No, I’m really not sure, can you tell me what people do there?” Then I’m inviting you to actually give me some more information.

Now, most people would jump in there and start to do their sales pitch, but we haven’t stepped up the value, or gathered anywhere near enough information yet to be able to pitch to them, so don’t jump in too quickly.

Motivation questions are really important because I’m learning what’s really important to them about that project and getting insights that I can’t get any other way. I can learn what information she already has, or what challenges she’s facing.

Once you’ve got information about what’s important to your client you need to demonstrate what you can do to meet those motivations.

If you ask somebody “What are the problems in your business at the moment?” They’re usually not going to give you a direct answer. They will probably be rather defensive, guarded and cynical about why you are asking that question. Any answer that they do give you will probably only scrape the surface of the problem. So if you want to uncover the problems they really want to solve you need to use indirect questions.

The answers to these questions help you to chunk down on the information because if the answer was, “I need some help.” you need to understand how they define help. As we discussed earlier, everyone’s language map is a little different, so this requires us to drill down and discover what the client means when he talks about ‘help’. If I just jump in and offer what I would consider ‘help’ I might mean something completely different.

So you need to find that out from the client, because if you make an assumption about what that is then you might potentially lose out on, or you could upset the client because they might have expected ‘A’, and you’ve delivered solution ‘B’ thinking that was what they wanted.

What this does is it helps you to identify the problems and that’s the key element of the questioning. When I have a meeting with someone, I like to take an interest in them, because I am interested in what’s important to them. If I go in and start pitching my product straight away in terms of what it could offer them, I then look like I’m trying to be interesting rather than being interested in how I can help them.

The more questions you ask before you start providing solutions, the more likely it is that your solutions will be welcomed enthusiastically. Your client will know that you have listened to them, and will see that you understand their problem, so don’t be too quick to put them in a box and write the label – keep asking questions until you are certain that what you assumed is really true.

Meta Description: Assumptions create misunderstanding. Questions create clarity. Don’t assume you know the answer, develop questions that help you find out what the answer really is.

#TuesdayTips

This is the final part of a detailed look at the 5-Step Sales Process. So far we have looked at the importance of :-

Building Rapport; [Link to #20]
Asking Questions; [Link to #21]
Establishing Need & Value-Add; [Link to #22]
Proposing a Solution; [Link to #23]

– and now we will look at Closing the Sale – the part that puts the money in your pocket and commits you to doing the work.

Closing the sale doesn’t happen in a vacuum. In fact, by the time you have completed step #4 you should know quite clearly whether or not you are going to make the sale. If you find yourself losing sales at this point then you need to look closely at what you are doing in the previous steps. Maybe you are not listening hard enough in the early part of the discussion, or maybe you are rushing ahead to the close.

I always love it when we get to this part of the Confident Closing workshops and participants share about their experiences with closing. We had one that was extremely fascinating with two participants who had the same results (low sales closure rates) for completely opposite reasons. One man said that he was surprised when he walked away without closing a deal because prospects were always very, very interested in his product throughout the presentation, but when it came to the final decision they weren’t buying. We went through his sales presentation process as a role-pay exercise and then I asked the group, “Why doesn’t he close more sales?”

The answer came back immediately, “He never asked for the sale.”

The participant was amazed. “You wanted the product. You could see it’s value to your business. You told me that all the way through.”

“Yes, but you never told me how I could buy it or asked me to make a commitment. I almost felt like a dog that was being teased with a treat.”

It took a few minutes to convince him, but he finally realised what his problem was. “Wow! I’ve wasted so many opportunities just because I assumed that it was obvious that people should buy.”

I met with this man a few weeks later and he said, “Chandell, Confident Closing was amazing – totally worth the 2-days I invested in it; but it was those few minutes after I presented my sales pitch that have really transformed my business. I’ve changed my close rate from around 15% to over 80% just by adding 2 sentences to my pitch. ‘Do you think that would be of value to your business?’ and ‘Would you like to buy this?’ I can’t believe how much money I used to throw away.”

Anyway, we moved from this man’s sales process to one of the other men in the room. My first impression of this second man was, “Why has he come to Confident Closing? Surely he is already a fantastic sales person.”

It turned out that his closing rate was terrible, and I found that hard to believe, so when we came to the demonstration I asked him to come up and demonstrate his sales pitch. The woman he was selling to had a hard time answering any of his questions – because he kept answering them for her – and he arrived at the closing portion within about 4 minutes of starting his pitch after totally missing the boat on every single one of the preceding 4 steps.

By the time he asked for the sale (which he did brilliantly), he had told her 15 generic reasons why she needed his service for her business (most of which did not apply to her); he had not discovered anything particular about what she did and he’d offered about 4 solutions that were clearly generic. She had no reason to buy, and no interest in doing so, but he spent quite some time trying to persuade her.

He accepted the feedback, but clearly didn’t understand what people meant, so I offered to show him what it felt like. I used his exact tactics to sell him one of my programs (not a strategy I would EVER use in real life). After about 8 minutes he turned to us with a hunted look in his eyes. “I see what you mean. I feel as though I’ve been bludgeoned with a blunt axe and I don’t ever want to meet you again. There’s no way I would ever say ‘yes,’ to your offer, no matter how appealing it was.”

It was a very enlightening process for everyone in the room. This second man came back to a later training with me and he had completely revamped his sales process. The biggest lesson he learned was that if you spend enough time on the first 4 steps, you don’t need to bludgeon anyone into buying at step 5. When you ask for the sale, your ideal clients will simply agree to buy, and the others will go away with no regrets.

Do you have a favourite selling process? How is it working for you? Tell us about it in the comments.

Meta Description: Your sales conversation went really well, and you were sure that your prospect was going to buy, but you walk away without a firm deal. What happened? How can you make sure it doesn’t happen again.

#TuesdayTips

Most people know what they want, but they are not necessarily so anxious for what they really need. Your job is to discover what they need, and make them want it. Is this evil manipulation? I would say, “No. Not if what they need helps them achieve their real goals. “

I’ve written about the entire 5-Step Selling process in another post [Link] and today I’d like to talk about where that process really takes you. You see, I’m a firm believer in creating win-win situations, and if you are effectively selling solutions to people who don’t really need them, then you’re winning, but your client might not be.

The five key steps to sales success involve:-

Building Rapport; [Link to #20]
Asking Questions; [Link to #21]
Establishing Need & Value-Add; [ Link to #22]
Proposing a Solution; [Link to #23]
Closing the Sale. [Link to #24]

So, you have established rapport and asked many questions (and listened to the answers they gave) and now you are talking to your prospect (or existing client) about a service or product you sell that you can clearly see would add value to their business – therefore it’s something they need.

The first thing you need to remember is that they don’t know your business as well as you do. It is really important never to assume your prospect will grasp the value you could bring to them. Even your existing clients may absolutely understand how valuable the services you already provide are, but might not see why they should purchase more. It is your responsibility to show them how much they could gain by purchasing it.

By the time we get to this step in the sales process I know what the other person’s goals and objectives are. I usually have a pretty good idea of their secondary goals, as well as their primary goals, and I have some insight into the things they value based on their responses to my questions, so it’s easy to stack the value for them.

Wants vs. Needs

Your prospect knows what he wants (a specific outcome) – but sometimes he confuses the outcome with the means of getting it. This might sound condescending, but it’s really just common sense. If I go to the doctor I know what I want – a quick solution to my pain or sickness; but he’s the one who tells me what I need to achieve that outcome. It would be silly for me to go in absolutely set on getting a certain prescription and to reject his suggestion that I try something even more effective.

A doctor can get away with that kind of switch because by-and-large we trust them. As a business owner we need to engender the same sort of confidence in our prospects so that they are convinced we understand their problem, and that our solution will resolve it in the most effective way possible.

At this point, I’m still asking them questions, but by now those questions are about the outcomes they are looking for, and the criteria they have for reaching those outcomes. For example, with my business coaching clients I help them to identify areas of their business where they are leaking resources because I know that once they see that by doing all these tasks without getting paid they are effectively working for less than they are worth. Once they find a way to charge for these things, they’ll be able to work less and earn more. Whether you are plagued by systems that take more time than they save, employees who aren’t delivering the services they ought, or prices that don’t reflect the value you bring to clients, once you can see the need in that area as well as the difference a solution will make, you are likely to find my services attractive – but it’s my job to highlight the value I bring.

If I’ve done a good job at highlighting how I can help you achieve the outcomes you really desire, and demonstrated my ability to deliver that value for others then you are almost certainly going to want to work with me. Then we can move onto establishing a price and concluding the deal. On the other hand, if you are still not sure whether you need my product or service – or whether I’m capable of delivering the service at all then there’s not much point moving forward.

The whole sale really depends on this question of establishing your prospect’s need for your service and demonstrating the value it could bring to them.

Meta Description: As a sales person or business owner it’s your job to find out what your prospects really need so that they achieve the goals they want – and then to help your prospects see that.

#TuesdayTips

This post is part of a series filling out details on the 5-step sales process [Link to #16]

Building Rapport; [Link to #20]
Asking Questions; [ Link to #21]
Establishing Need & Value-Add; [Link to #22]
Proposing a Solution; [Link to #23]
Closing the Sale. [Link to #24]

I’ve listed them sequentially, but of course you are doing many of these steps simultaneously. While you’re asking questions, you continue to build rapport … and you’ll keep asking questions as you move into establishing their need for your product or service and highlighting the value it brings to them.

Why Ask Questions?

The reason you want to ask questions is to learn about your prospect – to discover the things that are important to them about a product or service, the problems they are trying to solve, their decision-making strategy, and their level of interest. All of this information will help you:

Decide whether your product/service is suitable for them;
Understand which features and benefits are most important to them;
Determine how to present your solution;
See what time-frame you will be working with.

What Kind of Questions Do You Want to Ask?

Your questions should be directly related to the business of the person you are interviewing and phrased in the the language they use, so you’ll need to tweak the following questions for each prospect:-

What do you do? What are you interested in?
For what purpose do you want this?
What would be a successful outcome if we went ahead with this?
Who will make the decision on this matter?
How will you know if this product/service is right for you?
What is important to you about this?
When will you make a decision on this?

– these questions will help you learn about why the person is talking to you, and how seriously they are considering your product/service. In a business context, it is much better to disqualify a prospect quickly than to spend a lot of time talking to someone who is just getting information from you. Of course, you don’t want to be too abrupt about this because people move around, their circumstances change, and they may recommend you to others, but if you discover that they have no intention of buying at this time, you will modify your process appropriately. This is actually very beneficial, because you get the information you need, and you don’t force them into a situation where they are uncomfortable.

One key thing you need to uncover during this process is whether the person you are talking to is a key decision-maker or not. If they don’t have the power to sign off on the deal then you know that you’re dealing with either a gate-keeper, or simply an ideas-person. If you are dealing with someone who is just bringing ideas to the table then you don’t want to spend too much time or energy on them. If it’s a gate-keeper, then your goal has to be to get their attention and interest so that they can introduce you to the decision-makers.

Whatever the situation, asking questions brings clarity and help you get the outcomes you are looking for.

Meta Description: The quality of your life may be determined by the quality of the questions you ask, but the value of your sales certainly will be.

#TuesdayTips

The other day I was saddened to hear a parent say to their Scout leader, “I don’t want my child involved in selling items to raise money. My child is no sales person, he’s a good boy.”

I was even more startled to hear the Scout leader respond, “It’s OK. This year we aren’t selling chocolates, we’re just asking for donations.”

The parent was happy, but I was filled with a deep uneasiness. I understand the reluctance to have our children knock on neighbours doors and offer to do chores in return for pay, and I don’t necessarily think we want to be pushing chocolate on people, but do we really want our children to grow up thinking selling is ‘bad’, and sales people are some kind of pariah? I don’t think so! And I really hate the idea that it’s better to ask for a donation than to sell something that has value.

We Are All Sales People - and Always Have Been

The reality is that we are all in sales. We can call it ‘negotiation’, we can call it ‘sharing ideas’, or a million other euphemisms but when push comes to shove every one of us will spend a lot of our lives selling. We sell when we apply for a job, when we communicate and idea or suggest a project at work, when we go on holidays, persuade our kids to do their homework, decide which restaurant to eat at, and a million other times each day.

The real questions are, how well do we do that selling and how effectively do we attract support and co-operation from others? In my opinion, the better your skills and ideas, the greater your responsibility to gain the skills needed to sell them. It’s doing your colleagues, your employer, and your clients an injustice when you can’t communicate your powerful solutions effectively so that others can appreciate them.

Selling Effective Solutions

If you have an effective solution to someone’s real problem, then you should be embarrassed if you withhold the solution. Maybe you don’t think their problem is important. Perhaps you think they should keep suffering with that problem. Or perhaps you are just more concerned that they won’t realise how easily and effectively your produce or service can remove their problem.

Whatever is going through your brain when you decide this person isn’t worth helping, I’d like to challenge you to change it. Maybe your solution costs more than they are willing to pay – but that is their decision to make, not yours.

In my Confident Closing Workshops [Link here] I invariably have students who are worried about the price of their product or service. When we discuss this as a group and draw out the value any given product or service brings to its owners the consensus is usually that it is worth more, not less, than the price it is being sold for. Did you get that? I don’t recall ever having other people say, “That is way too much for anyone to pay!”

How much is your product or service worth? That depends on the size and severity of the problem it solves. Whether it’s solving logistics problems for a large company, helping small business owners become more profitable, or helping obese people lose weight to avoid insulin-dependence, the price people will pay for your solution depends on how painful their problem is.

Price and value are not fixed – they are relative. Your job as a sales person is to stack the value of the solution you are selling so high that your prospect says, (even as he sits down in shock when he hears the figure you set), “Is that all?”

If you are selling a real solution to a genuine problem then you are helping make your prospects’ lives better, not taking money from them.

Do You Still Hate Selling?

Maybe you’re not convinced yet. Try this exercise.

Make a list of all the problems your product or service solves.

List the time and money prospects spend on other solutions that are less effective.

How does your solution stack up? If you can’t find enough value in it, then dig a bit deeper. If you still can’t find the value in it then maybe it’s time to sell something else. But if you’ve come up with a substantial list in support of your product’s benefits (which I hope you have), then it’s time to hold your head high, get out there, and sell it for all you’re worth because of the value it will bring to users.

Meta Description: Selling is part of our everyday life whether we like it or not. The best way to deal with that reality is to become comfortable with your need to sell and develop skills that allow you to sell more effectively.

#TuesdayTips

Do you know what the Number 1 reason people don’t set goals is? It’s because they are afraid of failure. Sometimes clients say, ‘I don’t know what I want?’ – what they often mean is, ‘I’m not clear that I can achieve what I really want so I’ll pretend I don’t know.’ At other times, they genuinely don’t know because they’ve suppressed their dreaming for so long that they’re not aware of their real thoughts and desires.

Perhaps you fail to achieve your goals as often as you succeed and you wonder why that is. Today I’d like to explore the link between achieving your goals and giving your unconscious mind clear direction.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) one of the key areas we help people deal with, is letting go negative emotions – the core emotions of anger, fear, guilt, shame, and sadness. It only takes a few minutes, and usually clients will feel an immediate sense of relief which is fantastic. The negative emotions are gone, but your unconscious mind needs clear direction on how to think. If you don’t provide that direction, then your unconscious mind will quickly fall back into the old habits of thinking using those negative patterns. So, you’ve dealt with the problem – but now you have some re-training to do as well.

It’s the same with S.M.A.R.T. goals and your unconscious mind. You’ve created your S.M.A.R.T. goal – it is specific, measurable, as-if-now, realistic, and has a time frame – you’ve visualised it and made it as visceral as possible but you need to communicate that goal clearly to your unconscious mind so that it will help you achieve it. Your unconscious mind really wants to please you – but you need to tell it how it can do that and you need to make sure the instruction is clearly embedded.

When you create your S.M.A.R.T. goals and visualise them, that’s step #1. The rest of the process involves reminding your unconscious mind of those goals – that’s where vision boards, pictures, and regular review of those goals comes in. It may sound like hard work, but the truth is that once your unconscious mind knows what it is aiming for, it will support and help you at every turn. You’ll find yourself taking the needed decisions and completing your actions much more easily and effortlessly than ever before. It almost removes the need for self-discipline because your unconscious mind is working for you day-in, day-out, helping you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed of doing.

Think about that! Think about having your feet on a path towards the goals you really want, and moving forwards almost by instinct – easily and relentlessly. That’s what happens when you form your goals well, and then harness the power of your unconscious mind to draw you towards them.

Failure to achieve these goals isn’t really an option – because you only fail when you are conflicted about your goals. This time, you’ve set your goals carefully using the S.M.A.R.T. method, and you’ve given clear directions to your unconscious mind via your visualisation, and frequent reminders. All of a sudden you’ll find yourself smashing goal after goal as you work on them using a combination of deliberate action and effortless motivation.

Meta Description: How to achieve your goals every time without conflict and stress by harnessing the power of your unconscious mind.

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We all have patterns of communication that are shaped by our experience, our upbringing, and our personality. Sometimes we make excuses for ourselves: “That’s just the way I am.” “It always comes out like that.” “If people want to get upset, that’s their problem.” Sometimes we worry about the number of broken relationships that are strewn behind us, but mostly we just shrug and move on.

The reality is that you can change the way you communicate – or at least broaden your skills, and as a result you will find more satisfaction in your relationships (both business and social), and a smoother path to your goals.

Can YOU Communicate Well With EVERYONE You Meet?

When I was in my teens, I was bullied. It was so traumatic that my parents moved me to a new school. From that time onward my perception about women, and my communications with them were pretty messed up and my ability to understand and communicate with them was fairly limited. I boxed myself into a certain way of talking to them – if it worked out well, then we got on with each other, if they had a different style of communication it didn’t.

As I said to myself, “There are plenty of men around to work with, and enough women whom I do get on with, so who cares?” and I was really OK with that attitude most of the time. As I matured I realised that it wasn’t just women I had difficulty communicating with – there were certain men as well, but that was OK because I knew lots of other people had the same sort of issues.

It still wasn’t a real problem, because I did just fine with most people, and could cobble things together, but one day I had a client who was a real challenge. I had this fantastic sponsorship opportunity handed to me through this woman’s boss and it was great, except that I had to work with Cynthia – and we just did not get on. We finished the project and it was a success, but working with Cynthia was an incredibly stressful experience for me – and for her, I imagine.

It was then I started to realise how important communication was if I wanted to make my life easy and fun, and I started to look for tools to make communication easier.

Resourceful Communication Leads to Positive Relationships

Do You Want to Make Your Life Easier and More Fun? Most people I know do, and it sounds good to me! As I mentioned above, for a long time I thought I was an ‘OK’ communicator (which I was), and that that was the best I could expect – but then I stumbled across Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Apart from being fascinated by the neurology side of things, and the processes that changed my thinking and my life, I was also excited by the possibilities for expanding my communication toolkit.

I realised that I (and most of my friends, family, and colleagues) were singularly unresourceful when it came to communicating with people who were not like us. However, I also discovered that there was something I could do about it.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches a variety of techniques to help you communicate better. Many of them are just common sense, and great communicators through the ages have used them to win agreement and sway crowds, as well as to smooth the path of their private interactions. The problem is, they’re not commonly taught and most of the world doesn’t learn how to communicate effectively to a variety of people.

Imagine Your Life Without Misunderstanding!

Play a game with me for a minute. What would happen if you could pick the perfect way to speak and interact with everyone you met, so that they would immediately feel attracted to you, and desire to please you? Would that make life easier when you checked in at the airport? When you talked to the car sales man? When you disagreed with a colleague? When you were meeting with a client or prospect?

I know it makes an enormous difference when I make the effort to develop rapport using the tools Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) provides. When I am able to manage my communications so that the other person really hears my words no matter how different we are then life becomes much easier. When I can sift through the words they speak, and hear what another person is really saying, then suddenly a lot of misunderstandings simply vanish – both in business and in your personal life.

We Are ResourceFUL When We Have Resources

What communication resources do you have at your disposal? Many people have only one style of communication, and sometimes you’ll hear them say, “That’s just me. I can’t help it if others get upset.” Look, I get that. But what if expanding your communication repertoire builds your circle of friends, or your work opportunities … You’d be willing to flex a little bit, wouldn’t you?

Here are just a few of the resources you can use to expand your repertoire: –

Observation – could you make the other person comfortable by varying your speed and style of delivery?
Eye Patterns – are you using the right metaphors and language to appeal to this person?
Language – are you appealing to their preferred internal representation system?
Mannerisms – could you attract their attention by using bigger gestures, or smaller ones?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches all of these and more. We cover them at one level in our 2-day Confident Closing Workshop, and our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner Trainings delve deeper into them, equipping you to communicate successfully with individuals and groups in any context.

The primary reason for building your communication repertoire is simply that it will make your life smoother and more fun if you don’t keep coming up against prickly personalities who drive you crazy – you’ll still meet them, but you’ll be able to deal with them productively and pleasantly.

Meta Description: How often do you sabotage a relationship because you are intent on doing things ‘your way’ or not at all? Being resourceful in the way you communicate with others can change your life.

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Do you sometimes feel under-valued? Do you sometimes feel that people would buy your product or service if they only realised what it could do for them? Many people do. I used to feel that way all the time (sometimes I still do, but I know the problem lies with me), and I frequently talk to friends and clients who feel that way.

The easiest way to find out whether other people are hearing and understanding what you say is to listen to their response. At networking meetings, people will often say to me, “Most people don’t value my work for what it is worth.” The reality is that they have not managed to communicate the value of their work to others. It’s a pretty natural response when we don’t get the interest and buy-in we’re expecting, but the truth is that there is something you can do about it – and that something is to take responsibility for the response you get.

The Meaning Of The Communication Is The Response You Get

I’d like to illustrate this with a true story about Sally, a client of mine who was having trouble relating to her co-workers. One day she walked into my office and said, “I’m so over my boss, he is impossibly inconsiderate!” After a series of questions to uncover what the heart of the issue was for Sally, I learned that she had been in a meeting with her boss and had stated, “It’s a little bit draughty in here, isn’t it?” and then got very hurt and angry when her boss didn’t offer her a glass of water.

Somehow, when Sally had said, “It’s a little bit draughty in here, isn’t it?” she had expected her boss to understand that she was thirsty and needed a drink.

Now before you say to yourself, “Well, clearly Sally has a problem!” I’d like you ask yourself if you’ve ever made an indirect request hoping that your friend, partner, or colleague would understand that you are asking for help. You know what’s really interesting? This is how we communicate every day. You hear people saying, “I told her, she has to know – she has to know that I’m upset with her!”

“What did you say?” you’ll ask, and they respond, “Oh she just knows, I’m sure of it.”

“Don’t be!”

The real meaning of the communication is the response you get. If her boss doesn’t get Sally a glass of water then she can’t have made it clear that she wanted a glass of water. If your significant other doesn’t change their behaviour, you probably didn’t tell them clearly what the problem was and what response you were looking for.

If it happens once, the problem might be the other person – if it’s happening often then it’s probably time to take a good look at how clearly you communicate.

How Does This Apply to Sales?

In a sales context, that translates to, “If someone doesn’t want to pay your fee then YOU didn’t make it clear enough how valuable your services are to them.”

Now whose fault is it if the client doesn’t perceive the value of your service? Is it the client’s fault or is it your fault?

Many people don’t like to take that sort of responsibility on themselves. If you are taking charge of your own life and living at cause rather than at effect … if you’re empowered to influence others, then you should be willing to realise that you haven’t communicated in the most effective way that matches the needs of the person you’re talking to.

If you feel that prospects who are a great fit for your services aren’t taking you seriously then look at the value proposition you are sharing with them, the words you are choosing, and the mindset that backs up everything you say.

Meta Description: Do you ever complain that people don’t understand or appreciate your product or service as much as they should? NLP teaches that the meaning of your communication is the response you get and you can change the response by changing your flexibility.

Book your FREE Deep Dive Discovery Session here and move forward in your life and business, now.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

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