#TuesdayTips

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to get on really well with almost everyone, while others are constantly complaining about the way other people treat them?  The answer probably likes in the flexibility of their communication system.

I used to have a very fixed idea about how people who liked me would communicate – it included smiles, positive words, and general encouragement (all good things, by the way).  The problem with my inflexibility in this area was that if someone was pre-occupied and didn’t really notice me one day I’d think I must have offended them which made me feel bad, and try to make things right.

As I studied and practiced Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) I realised that the problem wasn’t that I had an overpowering desire to be liked – the real problem was that I had such limited flexibility in my communications that I couldn’t really distinguish between people who were pre-occupied and people who didn’t like me.

We all have some people around us who we genuinely dislike and disagree with, but we also have a much a much wider group of people with whom we just ‘don’t really feel comfortable’ – and this is mostly a question of flexibility in communication.

Glass, Perspex, and Rejection

Which is stronger: – glass or perspex?  Most people in my Confident Closing workshops will say glass – although the engineering / practical types will ask questions about thickness and treatments.  Theoretically it’s true – glass is the stronger substance, but it’s not as resilient as perspex.  Resilience is a key characteristic in communication and relationships.

Because glass is brittle, if you put enough weight and pressure on it – it’s going to break.  Whereas the perspex has got some flexibility and so it’s actually going to be able to withstand more pressure.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a business owner, or just want better social relationships you need to become more like the perspex than glass if you want to survive and thrive.  You can guarantee that challenges will come your way at one point or another.  If you’re flexible, you’re able to deal with the situation more congruently, more resourcefully.

Communicating So That Others Hear You

When you focus your communication on the other person, you’ll quickly realise the truth of the Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) principle that says, “The person or the system with the most flexibility will be the one that controls the system.”  If you want to control the outcome of your conversations and sales meetings then you have to able and willing to respond appropriately in any given situation.  This means you have to be flexible in your use of communication tools – not tied to a script or even an outcome, but focused on the other person.

When you focus on your prospect, or your client and really listen to their communications – the words they use, their gestures, and tone of voice – you’ll pick up the cues you need to close more deals.  In some cases you’ll realise that your product or service isn’t appropriate for them, or that they’re just humouring you and that’s fine too, because the quicker you pick that up, the faster you can get out of there, and the less time you’ll waste.

What Do I Mean When I Talk About “Flexibility in Communication”?

We all have a preferred style of communication based on our filters [Link to post].  It doesn’t mean that this is the only way we communicate, it just means it’s our preferred style – and that style includes our choice of words, the speed at which we speak, and the gestures and tones we use.  The more we can use matching and mirroring to reflect the style preferred by the person we’re talking to, the more likely we both are to come away from our interaction feeling understood.

Flexibility involves understanding our own preferred communication style, and become observant when we are around others so that we can become aware of their preferred style of communication.  The more we do this, the more we will find that others like and understand us, and we like and understand them.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) focuses heavily on recognising communication patterns, and it’s one of the things we teach in our Confident Closing Workshop at Life Puzzle.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the word don’t is something that we encourage our clients to change in their language. It is based on the belief that the unconscious mind does not process negative statements.

This concept was explained many times by NLP Trainers through this example: Don’t think of a blue tree. I bet you, an image of a blue tree went through your mind after reading this.  Even if you didn’t think of a blue tree you needed to create a blue tree first to negate the purple or green one you did think of.

In this example, you just used words (blue, tree) that made your listener create an image in his/her mind. You made that suggestion and he/she just can’t not think of a blue tree.

This concept is so important in communication of all kinds.  In parenting imagine if you told you children to stop safely at the crossing instead of telling them not to cross.  In business if you told your staff to be 10mins early for the meeting instead of telling the not to be late.  In a relationship telling your partner that you love their commitment instead of them not to cheat on you or break your heart. 

The key is to go straight to what you want your listener to think and do in an affirmative manner, focusing on what you want them to DO.

Rephrase your statements and use a positive tone. Like for example, instead of saying, “Don’t eat too much during the holidays!” say, “Limit what you eat during the holidays.” Sounds better, right?

Observe what happens if you follow this friendly tip you might just get people congruent and happy to give you what you ask for.

Learn more concepts in NLP by registering in our next NLP Practitioner Training. Visit the Events page of this website.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

#TuesdayTips

Are you exasperated because you feel like you tried everything and it still seems like nothing works? Perhaps you have exhausted your resources and have sought advice from experts but your great idea just won’t take off?

I often say that the best success comes from small actions applied consistently, which is why I encourage you to keep going even when you think you have ‘tried’ it all.

Take Thomas Edison’s example as quoted about and adopt the mindset and persistence that created his success.

Here’s my strategy for persistence:

  • Remove failure from your vocabulary. There is no such thing, there’s only feedback. The only failure is the failure to continue to take action.
  • Take into account the changing scenarios, implement the learning of the last attempt and keep going.
  • Commit to doing NOT thinking about doing.
  • Ask for help, the person who has accomplished has tips on what they did wrong and may be willing to save you the trouble by sharing their experience.
  • Ask Quality Questions of yourself and others. Listen to the responses and take action on what you discovered.
  • Learn the right time to take action. Sometimes in-action on certain things is the right time of action.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaching and coaching we draw on this presupposition “that there is no failure only feedback” we find it empowers us to keep on the pursuit of success for the road is paved with obstacles and the best way to conquer them is to take the feedback and keep pushing.

So view the setbacks as temporary, decide on your next step and do it!

Are you the type of person who have a started several projects and have left them unfinished because of a glitch or two? Well, it’s the start of a brand new year. And it’s time to change your ways.

Discover new ways to do things. It’s what keeps the world turning.

Discover new concepts in NLP. Enter your details here to receive a free gift and info pack for our next NLP Practitioner Training. Get it here or email support@lifepuzzle.com.au with GIFT in the subject line.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips; perception is projection!

Fortunately (or unfortunately) what you encounter in other people is often what you are yourself. Hence why perception is projection.

At Life Puzzle through our Training and Coaching Programs, we meet a lot of people.  The people we meet have relationships at work, friendships, relationships with family members and so on. Some of the people in their lives make them happy, others had behaviours that bothered them and some of them even recognise we that often attract people in our lives to learn from them.

It was interesting as a few years ago I met a lady who had a team of people in her business that she claimed were constantly ‘taking advantage of her’ and her constant complaint was that there was ‘no good staff or good people out there’.  The problem was that the behaviours that she was complaining about were the exact types of behaviours that she was unconsciously exhibiting in other areas of her life.

Although it was a challenging conversation to have with her (and she resisted that she could possibly be doing these behaviours initially) she came to realise that in fact she was.  Now this wasn’t a situation for situation exchange, here’s a couple of examples:

  1. Broken Agreements: She was upset about her staff being late despite their agreements to be on time. In her personal life she was late for her family all the time.
  2. Accountability: She complained that they would constantly miss their targets then blame the economy, the customers or her. In her friendships she would promise to do something for a friend and then get mad at the friend for expecting her to do it when she already had so much to do.

When she came to the realisation that these annoyances where things that she was unconsciously doing herself she changed her approach to her staff and (her words) “it was like magically a new team of the same people appeared over a few weeks”.

Life is a series of encounters. The more people you meet and observe, the better we understand ourselves. The more we understand ourselves the better our chances of healing and understanding others.

Perception is projection is a universal belief system under Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). In Life Puzzle, we use it in Business and Life Coaching.

To see ourselves fully and the things that are holding us back from becoming the person we want most to be, request a FREE Deep Dive Discovery Session and meet Chandell. It only takes a single step. Contact support@lifepuzzle.com.au now.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

How can you take advantage of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to set off your sales in an upward trajectory?

In a sales meeting, you have to listen really well to your client. Not the distracted kind of listening that you do as you think of the right things to say next. You must give your full attention to the client. You must be attuned to him through matching and mirroring — words, tonality and physiology.

And you must find out what his frame of reference is. In NLP, a frame of reference is defined as how a person judges the results of his actions. This could also mean his standards. You can ask a client how they know they are doing a good job and you can immediately identify whether he has an internal or external frame of reference.

When the client answers, “I instinctively know I am doing a good job, I don’t need anybody to tell me so”, then you have someone who has an internal frame of reference. These people make good entrepreneurs. They don’t need a lot of validation from outside to go on with their work.

But when he says, “I seek other people’s opinion about my work”, then he has an external frame of reference. This kind of people is perfect for service-oriented businesses like salons. They would seek client’s opinion for them to find out if they did their work well.

A person with an internal frame of reference with an external check looks inside then outside. A person with an external frame of reference looks outside then inside.

Frames of reference have been used in the past for personality profiling and you can use this too in closing sales. Be sure to follow the 5-step selling process discussed in a previous article – 5 Steps Sales Process Works.

For clients with external frame of reference, you can use testimonials from satisfied clients/customers for your product or service. Tell them the great things other people have to say about your product or service. You can build your presentation around these testimonials. These will definitely catch their attention.

For clients with an internal frame of reference, you can emphasize the benefits your product can bring to them. You must do a good job of stacking up your product’s value. You must ask questions to find out if your solution suits his unique needs and problems.  When you have done this, it would be like feeding salt to the horses and they would thirst for your product.

Selling based on a client’s orientation would then be natural and would require less effort.

To find out how you can harness the power of NLP in closing sales, come and join our 7-Day NLP Training!

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

Your resolve and the words you choose will give you what you want.

#TuesdayTips

“I’ll do it!” are probably the most powerful words you can speak. It means you will use all your resources at your disposal to attain a particular end. It declares a complete mastery of self. These words turn dreams to reality. They translate to ENERGY.

They are the exact opposite of saying, “I can’t.” In saying these words, you lose power — you give away your power. It declares a helpless state. It manifests your un-resourceful state.

In Life Puzzle, we believe that there are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states. We use the power of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) so you can outgrow your un-resourceful state and be ‘at cause’ or in charge of your success. And not ‘at effect’, or be acted upon and on the powerless/helpless position, making excuses and blaming other people.

Language codes the way the brain responds to stimuli. It limits or sets boundaries to reality or the external environment. Because it filters what goes inside your mind from the billions of bits of information in the external environment.

So if your mind codes your response to stimuli in language, changing your language can recode it. Makes a lot of sense does it? You can then manifest new and better behaviours.

Then keep saying, “I’ll do it!” and “I can!”.

There will probably be no limit to what you can do.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.” – Jim Rohn

#TuesdayTips

Do you know that it is the unconscious mind that generates habits? Want to find out the ways to train it to install habits that can make you successful in life?

First, you got to build rapport with your unconscious mind. This is because there exists a disassociation between the conscious and the unconscious mind. Treat it kindly like you do a five-year-old child.

Second, know what you want. You have to give your unconscious mind directions for it to follow you (conscious mind).

Your directions have to be clear and specific and must be something positive. The unconscious mind does not process negatives. An example can be: I want to save a thousand dollars every month starting January 2017.

Then, focus on what you want. Be aware of what you want. Have external reminders of your goal in your bedroom and work area. This will train your mind to see instances everyday where you can meet your goal. It could be in a store as you are shopping for a gift for a friend. Your unconscious mind may tell you in a feeling that that reasonably-priced jacket is perfect for your friend instead of a much rather expensive one.

These feelings would be so subtle; you wouldn’t know it to be your unconscious talking to you. And they would point out other areas in your life where you can manifest your goal. It could be by an increased awareness for other income generating activities that come your way.

As you go through your life installing habits of success like saving and investing, your unconscious mind may become your best friend. It will support you to meet your goals and it will attract people and events that are in the direction/congruent with your dominant thoughts. Your dominant thoughts being your unconscious mind geared towards success.

Know more about your unconscious mind and how you can harness its powers in our NLP Training. Look up dates in this website and reserve your slot now. 

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

Most people in my community may be surprised to know that I am not a huge fan of “positive thinking. Before you get too carried away, let me tell you how I think about this and where it takes me. If I have a “positive thinking mindset”, I might say something along the lines of … “I really want to be well and I’m really healthy.” This is great IF I am healthy and well, on the other hand if someone suffering with some kind of major disease that has lots of physiological symptoms says that, it might be bring on some conflicts at the unconscious level.

#TuesdayTips

I believe that when you are ‘thinking positively” or doing affirmations about something you don’t really believe, you set yourself up for a lot of fake realization and or disappointments. Basically, thinking positively has no value when the “itty-bitty-shitty committee” is sitting on your shoulder and saying things like… “Well, that’s really not very true!” especially if the person is faced with this symptomology on a daily basis.

This thinking was sparked by a conversation with a prospect when we sat down to have a chat about some of the challenges he had been experiencing in his life.

There happened to be a glass of water on the table. He said to me, “You know, I am a glass half-full kind of person and I’ve been reading a book about positive affirmations and positive thinking which frames the idea of the glass being half full rather than half empty.”

I was thinking about what he said and came to a really, really interesting realization. At that moment I replied, “It doesn’t really matter whether the glass is half full or half empty because in reality sometimes the glass IS half empty.” That started me thinking about the notion of half full and half empty and whether it is valid?

Suddenly I realised it doesn’t really matter whether the glass is half full or half empty. The important this is what you do with the information.” Maybe you’ve received some news that you’re not excited about that you have to swallow. Perhaps, you’ve experienced a sense of loss, and maybe there is NO positive re-frame for you as you process the grief of losing someone who was very special to you.

If you find that the glass IS half empty, the most important thing to consider is what are you telling yourself about the fact that it is half empty? And what is your ability to the respond to the fact that some of those circumstances are beyond your control?

So, the question is not necessarily whether the glass is half full or half empty. It’s actually a question of whether or not you can face the fact that it is empty.
What actions will you take today or tomorrow that will make a difference in terms of how you deal with the fact that it’s half empty?

Here’s my 3 tips for approaching a half empty glass:-

Ask myself how do I want it? This changes my state of mind to moving toward a good outcome and in the absence of focusing on the problem I may see a solution I didn’t see before.
What can I learn from the situation that will assist me or others in the future? Commit these ideas to paper.
Write it down without attempting to make sense of it. (Free associated writing) Carl Jung believed that when our unconscious mind communicated or made conscious a problem that it would cease to exist. In doing free associated writing you can sometimes make realisations you wouldn’t have by analysing/just thinking about the problem.

Finally, in order to have a new glass with new content, sometimes you have to tip it upside-down, wash it out and fill it up again with some new, fresh, clean water.

Be well and Be Empowered!

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

A few years ago I did some research into ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and how effective they really are.  Most statistics show that roughly 70% of people will have abandoned their ‘resolutions’ by 15th January and what I found was that most of the population think of New Year’s resolutions as something that you need to ‘try’ really hard at.

In considering my research, I realised that many struggling to make those ‘resolutions’ a reality are sabotaging themselves by doing one or more of the following…

  1. They wait til January – I believe that change and development is a process of constant evolution.  Waiting until December or January to decide that we will become better versions of ourselves seems like a waste of the rest of the year!  Please don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a big picture plan to know where you’re going, and the milestones, month to month, week to week tracking/review is what really allows you to see your progress.
  2. Their definition is flawed – “Resolution” loosely defined is to find an answer to something. That doesn’t mean that we have taken action on it.  For example: You know that the answer to having more energy is to shed a few kilos BUT that doesn’t mean that you have committed to eat well, exercise consistently and actually take action on the solution, right?  A big part of achieving change is your commitment to take action on a decision/answer.  People who succeed in their goals make a plan and then take action!
  3. Their Frame of Mind is not supporting their outcome – Most resolutions start off on the wrong foot with negative language or lack of something.  For example: “I’m going to give up…” “I will quit….”  “I want to lose…”  This mentality focuses on the thing that you don’t want (Remember: your unconscious mind cannot process negatives so it just draws more attention to the thing you want to have and that you’re denying yourself).  This lack mentality, creates negative emotions of ‘fear/anxiety’ that you won’t succeed or guilt when you don’t stick to your plan.
  4. They’re not clear on what it is they actually want:  “I want to be happy this year”, “I want to have more money this year” – these sound great but what do they really mean? Happiness could be a moment with your kids/partner – that would be achieved then wouldn’t it? You could bank an extra $1 than you did last year – that would be achieved wouldn’t it? NO?! That’s right, because you meant something different.  How would you know if you got it, specifically?

So here’s a few things to do to make 2016 the year that you get stuff done, a year that you can look back and say “I achieved…”

  1. Set Commitments – Rather than resolutions, set yourself up with some commitments.  This carries more weight and becomes a promise.  Make a plan, take action on your commitment and make it consistent.
  2. Know what you want and move toward it – The S.M.A.R.T. Principles are great for get Specific on what you want and if your ‘itty bitty s%^&y committee’ is sitting on your shoulder saying you can’t have it, then you will most like lose motivation.
    Use this FREE tool to Boost Your Confidence it’s our gift to you.

  3. Set Milestones and rewards – Most people make the goal so BIG that they overwhelm themselves before the start.  Set an end goal, then work backwards to create milestones that you can check in on to make sure you’re on track.
  4. Make it physical/action/outcome – I see many people focus on a goal that is not measurable, they know that they want it but there’s no action to support the attainment.  STOP, DO, and you will have.  Take action!  Whether it’s picking up the phone to connect with someone, getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier for a walk or simply blocking out some time in your diary to do some meditation… the key here is to DO not think about Doing.
  5. Change your language – The relationship you have with yourself is an important one. Instead of using language like: “I’m giving up…” see how you feel about: “I’m choosing to be/do/have…” It’s much more empowering as it communicates the goal in a better way to your unconscious mind.

In 10 years of coaching at Life Puzzle I have seen many people spend a lot of time dreaming about how the year will be different and yet they are still ‘trying’ to achieve the same outcomes when you talk to them again at the next turn of the calendar year.  So please, Instead of ‘trying’ just start ‘doing’ and if you need a little help you may wish to join us at Quest 4 Your Best.

Make those Commitments your Reality and until next time,

Be well and Be Empowered!

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

The secret of effective sales lies, like so much else, in your unconscious mind.  We have a deeply engrained response to selling and salesmen that we take along with us whenever we go out to sell to others.  If you haven’t won the battle in your mind, then you’ll have serious difficulty actually making a ‘confident close’ no matter how much your product or service is going to help another person.

Your unconscious mind is always judging your thoughts, words, and actions.  So as long as it is telling you that selling is bad, you’ll communicate that to the people you talk to.  What this means, is that you need to retrain your unconscious mind at a very deep level, and the best way to do this is to ensure that what you are selling is really going to help your prospect.

One of the things that I learned from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is that you don’t really win unless everyone who is involved wins.  Shortly after I completed my training I was hired to lead a corporate sales team and in the first 6 months our business grew by 400%.  Apart from me there were no changes in the team, but because the team’s focus shifted from simply selling our product, to discovering if it was the best solution for our prospects we had enormous success.

Don’t Try To Cheat Your Unconscious Mind!

You see, you can’t cheat your unconscious mind.  No matter how deeply buried your reservations are about the product or service you are selling your unconscious mind knows about them.  If you want to be successful in your selling, then you need to teach you unconscious mind about the value of the thing you sell.

Try this exercise to help you clarify things:

  1. List all the reasons why someone would find your product/service valuable – make it as comprehensive and detailed as possible.
  2. List all the reasons why someone would be better choosing a different option -make this list as comprehensive and detailed as possible too.

Think of 2 or 3 questions you can ask a prospect to find our whether they fall into Category 1 or Category 2.

Now you have some clear guidelines to help you discover whether you are talking to someone who will benefit from your product or service or not.  If they are in Category 1 you know that it’s in their best interests to buy your product and you have the freedom to sell as persuasively as possible.  If they’re in Category 2, then you can thank them for their time, and move on – or you can suggest where they might find a more suitable solution for their needs.  Either way, you’ve got your unconscious mind working for you, and you’ve found a win-win solution.

Why Do We Really Hate Sales People?

The real reason we hate sales people is that they always seem to be trying to sell us things we neither need nor want.  That’s why walking into an Apple Store is so refreshing.  Their sales people always have plenty of time to help you and give you the advice you need, and they’re just as likely to tell you that you don’t need something as they are to upsell you.  That builds trust, and it means that when they do suggest that I need an expensive add-on I’ll usually listen to them – and in any case, they don’t just say, “Oh, you’ll also want X.  Here it is.”  They say, “You’ll probably want X because …” and give me the reasons why I should buy it.

This is the secret of power-selling – you’re not just trying to make a sale, you’re trying to solve your prospect’s problems – and your unconscious mind knows that so every part of your physiognomy, not just your words, move them towards the sale.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

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