Rapport in communication is made up of three things: words, physiology and tonality and most people think that the words we use are the most important. The secret is that they are only about 7% of the impact you make. Link to Blog on Building Rapport
Think back to a time you walked into a networking event, or a party, or some other function where you see someone that you don’t know – you have absolutely no idea who they are, you’ve never met them before, and you don’t know why but you get a funny feeling about that person, there’s just something about them that attracts you. How do we know that we like that person? How do we make that decision? It’s based on the instant decision of your unconscious mind. Link to Blog on Unconscious Mind
Again, this is an example of our unconscious driving our behaviour – so 93% of your decisions about others, and their decisions about you is an unconscious response to tonality and physiology. That puts tremendous pressure on you – but it also creates amazing opportunity because once you understand it, you can use this skill to create win-win outcomes with people.
What is a win-win outcome? Well, if you tap into what’s important to another person and can deliver them the service that they’re looking for that’s a great outcome for both of you. People don’t buy based on your experience or how long you’ve been doing what you’re doing or because your logo has pink and blue as opposed to yellow and green – at the end of the day the buying decision comes down to how it makes them feel.
Since all of this is going on inside our head, part of the art of the confident closer gets down into how you present your information so that your prospect sees the tiny fraction of the information they need to make a buying decision. It’s ensuring that the key bits of information they need to know about the outcome will get past their filters. Once you’ve accomplished that, their buying decision is made for them.
The art of influence is not just in the words, it’s not just in the tonality, it’s not just in the things that you choose to show them, it’s about whether you present all this in the way that they want to see it. A sales pitch that totally convinces one person might not work at all on someone else, because they’re two different people. The art and the skill of communication lies in the ability to find out what’s important to each particular person, and then give him the information that he desires. However, you actually have to observe, and focus on the person to do this – you can’t just go through the motions.