… but you can change that.

 Most people let others off the hook because they want to be seen as a nice person and because we are conditioned to believe that calling people out is neither nice nor kind.

That is absolutely wrong!

Letting people get away with unreliability is one the cruellest thing you can do to anyone of any age because it teaches them to lie to themselves and break promises to themselves.

“Nice” is one of those words people use when they can’t think of anything positive to say, but don’t want to offend someone.

Maybe the following acronym will make you think twice next time you are considering giving someone an easy way out:-

Inside me
Enough to…

  • tell you you’re behaving badly and hurting or offending others
  • make sure you realise the consequences of your action (or inaction)
  • enable you to move forward and achieve your goals
  • set standards and hold you to them

“NICE” is really a polite way of saying, “I don’t care about you or your life.”

Is that really the person you want to be? Do you really care so little about your family, friends, colleagues, and clients?
…Or have you been brainwashed into thinking that calling someone out is kind, when it’s really killing you, your friends and family.
N.B. I’m not suggesting that you’re nasty to people, but lovingly honest, especially about their excuses.

It’s true, calling people (including yourself) out when they fail to:

  • Arrive on time (or at all)
  • Deliver on their promises
  • Give notice of changes
  • Complete projects
  • Take care of themselves

…is not particularly comfortable.

However, accepting those excuses and giving a non-committal response won’t help anyone make the changes they need to make to go the places they want to go.

Should I Let Him Off?

Recently one of my coaching clients showed up for a session unprepared. Normally he’s very diligent about completing his tasks, but this time he hadn’t even looked at them.

My first thought (after hearing about his week and the reasons he hadn’t completed the tasks) was to say, “Well, that’s okay, I’ll let you off this once.” But then I thought about the patterns in his life and business and the reasons he was coming to me for coaching in the first place. Although this was the first time in over six months, he had done this in the context of his coaching, breaking promises to himself was an underlying behaviour.

So I thought…

“Is letting him off the hook really the kindest thing I can do for him? Would I be breaking my side of the coaching agreement if I did so.”

Holding him to his commitment didn’t save me any time. However, the discussion we had helped him to realise some ingrained and unconscious behaviours that were holding him back from achieving his goals.

Carl Jung says, “That which was unconscious, when made conscious ceases to exist.”

When my client returned the following week, with his tasking thoroughly completed, he said this,
“Chandell, I was so furious when you refused to have our session last week! Even after you had talked to me and explained why you were doing so and how holding me to my agreement would actually help me get my outcomes, I was mad inside. As I drove home, I was looking for loopholes to get out of our coaching agreement, but then I realised why you had done this and I saw all the other areas of my life that I was undermining by this sort of behaviour. Thank you for caring enough to challenge me.”

Learning how to call others out when they are betraying their own principles is an important skill, it takes courage, commitment, and caring. It’s one of the reasons my clients work with me.

Have You seen my “The Secret of Making People Want to Work With You” webinar? Check it out here:https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/secret-people-want-work-you

… but you can change that.

“The only person over whom you can and should have total control is yourself. Don’t give that autonomy away… especially to people you don’t like.”

Have you ever said things like,

  • “I will clean the bathroom when my husband stops leaving his toothpaste on the bench?”
  • “I will wash the dishes when my kids stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink.”
  • “I will forgive my mum when she apologises for making my life hell.”
  • “I will talk to my brother when he stops telling lies about me.”
  • “I will raise my prices when the economy improves.”

Ok, so your version may be slightly different to the examples above and could well involve serious physical and emotional harm, but I hope they’ve got you thinking about the ways that you are making your transformation dependent on someone who doesn’t care about your happiness or doesn’t realise that you are dependent on them for happiness.

If you often say things like this, then you are dangerously vulnerable because you have made your happiness dependent on someone over whom you have no control. Even worse, that ‘someone’ is often either impersonal (“the economy”), uninterested in whether you write a bestseller or not (“your kids”), or potentially malicious (the perpetrator).

Don’t Make Your Happiness Dependent on Someone Else!

The truth is, the only person’s behaviour and attitude you can change or control is your own. Unless you have the force of the law behind you, you can’t make anybody apologise, repay, or otherwise recompense you for any damages that you have suffered… and outcomes-at-law are often disappointing as families of murder victims often discover.

If that’s the case, then doesn’t it make sense to ask how you can control and change your own outcomes, without waiting for someone else to take the initiative? And, doesn’t the thought that you could control your own destiny and well-being excite you?

Tough Situations Can Be Overcome

Before I tell this story, I want to make it 100% clear that I’m not justifying abuse, violence, war, or other horrors. Sadly, they happen… and our best efforts don’t seem to do much to stop them. The past is past, we can only change the present and (indirectly) the future. I’d be betraying my own integrity if I didn’t share what I know about setting people free from PTSD, trauma, and other emotional chains.

One of my clients had been abused by a relative when she was 8 years old. She was 48 when we started working together and the scars of that abuse were affecting her work, her marriage, and her kids, as well as her health. During our initial H.O.W.T.O. Session I asked her if she really wanted to release the hurt and anger she had been carrying for so long. She said, “Yes,” so we went straight into a Time Line Therapy® process.

Thirty minutes later, she walked out of my office looking 10 years younger. Over the next few months as we continued to work on the habits and thought patterns she had developed every area of her life started to change for the better. Her health improved, her relationships with her husband and children were transformed, and opportunities opened up at work where previously she had been frustrated.

As she said, “Chandell, I realised during the H.O.W.T.O. Session that I’d been letting this evil man control my life for forty years! As if his original actions hadn’t been damaging enough! I love what’s happening in my life now, but mostly I love the fact that using Time Line Therapy® I didn’t have to dredge through the memory in order to release it. Before that process I don’t think there was a waking hour when he didn’t come to mind, since then, I’ve got bigger and better things to focus on.”

To the best of my knowledge she’s never met her abuser again, so she never got the satisfaction she’d clung to all those years, but she’s free of his power anyway and she’s gone on to do amazing things!

No-one Will Ever Know… or Will they?

“I’m great at covering up my feelings, so my boss will never know I can’t stand him.”

“My husband will never know how angry I feel…”

“My sister-in-law won’t know how much I despise her…”

In NLP we talk a lot about the role of physiology in communication. Your physiology includes your deportment, your facial expression, and your tone of voice. If you are angry, resentful, anxious or in any way secretly unresourceful others will detect it. They may not know what they are picking up, but they will know that something is incongruent and they will respond appropriately.

Therefore, quite apart from the fact that you’ll feel much better about

  • yourself,
  • your life,
  • and the situations you are facing,

It’s important to deal with your negative emotions and limiting beliefs for the sake of your communication and relationships with others.

This is Not Just a Personal Issue… it Affects Your Sales

In my book, “Confident Closing: sales secrets that grew a business by 400% in six month and how they can work for you” I talk about the fact that we’re all in sales. Everyday you need to sell your ideas, opinions, skills, and knowledge to friends, family, and colleagues even if you aren’t officially in a ‘sales’ position. Your happiness does depend on your ability to this successfully.

Unacknowledged limiting beliefs are often the reason why you fail to sell yourself and your ideas. Your listener or prospect picks up on your secret thoughts of inadequacy and you end up sabotaging your outcomes without realising it.

Visualise your greatest dream or highest goal:

  • On a scale of 1-100, how convinced are you that you will achieve it?
  • If you didn’t score 100%, what or who might stop you from achieving it?
  • When did you decide that?
  • Now ask yourself, what is there about this situation that I can control and what do I need to let go of to make that happen?

Most people will make excuses for themselves and provide reasons why they can’t move forward. If that describes you, then you have some issues you need to deal with so that you can achieve your goals faster and with less friction. If you’d like some help or want to learn more visit the Personal Breakthrough Session page on this site or email Ken: support@lifepuzzle.com.au and ask him to send you information about booking a Time Line Therapy® session with Chandell. This powerful technique can help you quickly and easily disperse the negative emotions and limiting beliefs that are standing between you and your goals.

... I'm guessing your answer is , "No!"

But if lobsters didn’t get so desperately uncomfortable that they were willing to take radical action, then you’d never get to eat an enormous, succulent lobster for dinner.

If only people were like lobsters...

and used our discomfort as a stimulus to move forward and grow.

Most people go to the doctor when they are uncomfortable (which is not necessarily a bad thing).

UNTIL… our mental, emotional, or physical discomfort which is designed to provide momentum and get us up, moving, and taking action is dulled into oblivion by food, alcohol, TV, parties, or whatever other numbing agent we choose.

If You’re Always Comfortable, You’re Not Growing

You see, lobsters have soft and mushy bodies that are protected by a rigid outer shell. It’s not until they get so uncomfortable trapped inside this rigid shell that they are ready to take a big risk. Then they:

  • Hide under a rock,
  • Break out of their shell-prison,
  • Eat the shell that trapped them,
  • Which provides the resources to grow a new, larger shell,
  • Which they can expand into…

They don’t just do this once. They do it over and over again… and they are compelled to do it because they don’t have any drugs or medication to dull the pain of their confinement. If they didn’t do this, they would never grow large enough for us to eat.

Lobsters aren’t really the issue here, though.

You are!

Is Time the Real Culprit?

I often hear business owners complain about not having enough time and they’re looking for new tools techniques of time management when what they really need is to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable in the ‘shell’ that used to be so spacious and take some time to reflect.

I’ve noticed something else. There are two ways of coping with this discomfort:

  • Step back from your busy-ness to reflect on why you feel so much pain and decide what to do next so you can keep growing and moving forward;
  • Hide amongst your busy-ness and use that as an excuse to stay in your (increasingly uncomfortable comfort zone;

In other words, you can escape the discomfort and hide from it behind fancy toys, lavish vacations, a cluttered calendar, alcohol, exercise, medications, etc. Or you can face it head on and make decisions that will transform your life.

It’s not easy to take this kind of courageous step alone, that’s why I run various groups and courses to support people through their discomfort and keep them moving from one level of achievement to the next.

Are You Going to Cover your Discomfort... or Use it for Good?

I often hear business owners complain about not having enough time and they’re looking for new tools techniques of time management when what they really need is to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable in the ‘shell’ that used to be so spacious and take some time to reflect.

I’ve noticed something else. There are two ways of coping with this discomfort:

  • Step back from your busy-ness to reflect on why you feel so much pain and decide what to do next so you can keep growing and moving forward;
  • Hide amongst your busy-ness and use that as an excuse to stay in your (increasingly uncomfortable comfort zone;

In other words, you can escape the discomfort and hide from it behind fancy toys, lavish vacations, a cluttered calendar, alcohol, exercise, medications, etc. Or you can face it head on and make decisions that will transform your life.

It’s not easy to take this kind of courageous step alone, that’s why I run various groups and courses to support people through their discomfort and keep them moving from one level of achievement to the next.

I lost count of the number of times I heard my Mum and Grandma say,

“Everything has a place and if you put it there you will get more done.”

Most of the time, I was too busy to pay attention and follow their advice because I could always find what I needed.
Sometimes, I’d get so overwhelmed that I’d realise that the clutter was causing me to procrastinate… and not even do things I really enjoyed. About then I would sort things out, put things where they were most useful and ready-to-hand and suddenly find that my mind was clear and I was ready to take the next step.

The Life-

Changing Magic of Tidying Up

You’ve probably heard of Marie Kondo and “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, if not, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version:

  • Pull everything out of your cupboards, drawers, etc
  • Throw out everything you don’t need and love (if relevant acknowledge its past contribution to your life)
  • Put the things you are keeping away where they belong and are easily accessible
  • Feel instantly lighter and happier

That’s great stuff!


She’s missed the key point: when you unclutter your STUFF, you are not only able to get more done, you are MOTIVATED to do it. 


It works for tasks, emotions, responsibilities and many other areas of life as well!

"I just don't feel motivated to do..."

Last Monday, I walked into my office and felt instantly overwhelmed by all the things I had to do. In that moment my motivation plummetted to zero and I was ready to procrastinate… unproductively.

Realising that I was going to waste a lot of time and energy fighting for motivation, I decided to procrastinate productively and spend 30 minutes organising myself so I set a timer.

30 minutes later, my space was ready for action with essential items ordered and close at hand, lots of stuff in the bin and my mind was also ready for action.

That simple task of clearing, organising, removing, and setting aside things from my physical space also cleared my mental space and magically eliminated my overwhelm.

This strategy works best with items that are visible and can actually be completed, or at least completed to a definite degree. Your email inbox is a terrible place to start because no matter how effectively you clear it out, there is always new stuff filling it up. 

This is also why it’s best to break your larger projects down into manageable pieces so that you can physically tick off the item.


Think about that for a minute … Don’t argue with it, just let it tumble around in your mind a bit, and reflect on the question “What if this is true?” Without energy, we stop living. Without energy your relationships fade, your career fades away, and your dreams die; breathe energy and attention into these things, and they come back to life.

What Kind of Energy Are You Emitting?

You know the people I’m talking about … they emit positive energy and the attract ideas, plans, actions, success, love! Maybe you think, “Lucky them, they have it all. I wish I’d had their chances.”  The truth is, they may have been born lucky, but they’ve also made choices that attracted luck to them.  They’ve chosen to think positively about themselves, their life, others, and to take action in order to achieve their goals. Mostly, they’re exciting people to be around, and their positive energy rubs off on others, so people seek them out.

Then there are the other people, the negative ones. They always have problems – often their problems are bigger than anyone else around.  They’re usually complaining about other people, circumstances, and life in general.  They’re energy suckers.  Spend too much time with them and your life starts to look pretty miserable too.

You would think that everyone would want to resolve their problems and feel better, wouldn’t you? But the truth is, that some people find that their problems bring them attention and sympathy, and that’s called secondary gain.  My problem attracts attention, so I go around telling people that I want to solve it, but I don’t really want to solve it at all because all that attention feels good.

Sometimes a person enjoys complaining about their problem, but it also gives them a reason to not have the thing they want.   For example, maybe I don’t have the confidence to ask for business, but I also don’t want to ask for business because I think that would be pushy, that puts me in a double bind. 

I had a client who was in direct selling and she came into the office to do a process called Time Line Therapy™ which is about letting go of negative emotions from the unconscious level. This process usually takes as little as 2 minutes for most people to let go of a major negative emotion – we do it for anger, sadness, fear and guilt.  So this lady comes in and we let go of anger perfectly, we let go of sadness perfectly, we got to fear – and we always ask the unconscious mind for permission to let go of the emotion. So I said, “Okay, so is it okay for your unconscious mind to let go of the negative emotion of fear today and for you to be aware of it consciously?” and she said, “No.”

I was surprised, so I re-framed and said, “I want to remind your unconscious mind that its highest prime directive is to preserve your body and keep it safe and so holding on to this negative emotion is actually not in line with its highest prime directive.  So, knowing that, would it be okay for your unconscious mind to support us in letting go of the fear today and for you to be aware of it consciously, knowing that we can keep the learning and let go of the negative emotion.” And she said, “No.”

I was pretty curious about this, because this is the first time that this had happened to me – most of the time, with a bit of a refrain to the unconscious mind it loosens it up and they say, “Yes.”

So I said, “Well, could you ask your unconscious mind why? Just tell me the first thing that comes up.”

And she replied, “Because if I let go of the fear then I won’t have an excuse.”

Ka-ching! Secondary gain!  It’s a lot easier for people to accept you saying you’re afraid to make a cold call.  They’ll accept that because fear is an acceptable excuse and then people will feel sorry for her and make excuses for her.  Whereas if she says, “I don’t want to do it” which is what it was really about, people will say “Don’t be lazy, get over it.”  So by having that excuse or hiding behind the fear I can be okay with the fact that I don’t want to do what I should do and what I have to do.

The thing is, when we tie up out attention on these negative emotions and attitudes, then our energy gets tied up feeding them, too. That means we don’t have energy to do things that will help us get the results we want, so we end up in a vicious cycle of frustration and failure. Our minds and bodies are like channels, and if you block the channels with negative emotions or memories, then there isn’t much room for positive energy to flow. On the other hand, once you start unblocking the energy channels and focusing on positive outcomes and energies, then suddenly you attract the kind of results and relationships that make you happy.

Whatever you focus on grows. So, it’s really your choice.  Do you want positive things to grow, or negative ones?

Meta Description:  If you’re wondering why your sales, career, relationships, performance and other aspects of your life aren’t working out the way you want them too, the cause could be closer than you think.

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Book your complimentary 30-minute Discovery Session with Chandell.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales


Do you know what the Number 1 reason people don’t set goals is?  It’s because they are afraid of failure.  Sometimes clients say, ‘I don’t know what I want?’ – what they often mean is, ‘I’m not clear that I can achieve what I really want so I’ll pretend I don’t know.’  At other times, they genuinely don’t know because they’ve suppressed their dreaming for so long that they’re not aware of their real thoughts and desires.

Perhaps you fail to achieve your goals as often as you succeed and you wonder why that is.  Today I’d like to explore the link between achieving your goals and giving your unconscious mind clear direction. 

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) one of the key areas we help people deal with, is letting go negative emotions – the core emotions of anger, fear, guilt, shame, and sadness.  It only takes a few minutes, and usually clients will feel an immediate sense of relief which is fantastic.  The negative emotions are gone, but your unconscious mind needs clear direction on how to think.  If you don’t provide that direction, then your unconscious mind will quickly fall back into the old habits of thinking using those negative patterns.  So, you’ve dealt with the problem – but now you have some re-training to do as well.

It’s the same with S.M.A.R.T. goals and your unconscious mind.  You’ve created your S.M.A.R.T. goal – it is specific, measurable, as-if-now, realistic, and has a time frame  – you’ve visualised it and made it as visceral as possible but you need to communicate that goal clearly to your unconscious mind so that it will help you achieve it.  Your unconscious mind really wants to please you – but you need to tell it how it can do that and you need to make sure the instruction is clearly embedded.

When you create your S.M.A.R.T. goals and visualise them, that’s step #1.  The rest of the process involves reminding your unconscious mind of those goals – that’s where vision boards, pictures, and regular review of those goals comes in.  It may sound like hard work, but the truth is that once your unconscious mind knows what it is aiming for, it will support and help you at every turn.  You’ll find yourself taking the needed decisions and completing your actions much more easily and effortlessly than ever before.  It almost removes the need for self-discipline because your unconscious mind is working for you day-in, day-out, helping you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed of doing.

Think about that!  Think about having your feet on a path towards the goals you really want, and moving forwards almost by instinct – easily and relentlessly.  That’s what happens when you form your goals well, and then harness the power of your unconscious mind to draw you towards them.

Failure to achieve these goals isn’t really an option – because you only fail when you are conflicted about your goals.  This time, you’ve set your goals carefully using the S.M.A.R.T. method, and you’ve given clear directions to your unconscious mind via your visualisation, and frequent reminders.  All of a sudden you’ll find yourself smashing goal after goal as you work on them using a combination of deliberate action and effortless motivation.

Meta Description:  How to achieve your goals every time without conflict and stress by harnessing the power of your unconscious mind.

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Book your complimentary 30-minute Discovery Session with Chandell.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales


Your unconscious mind is very powerful and you can use it help you achieve your goals if you follow a few simple steps.  Let’s start by looking at some of the key functions of your unconscious mind.

9 Key Functions of Your Unconscious Mind

  1. Controls Your Body’s Core Functions (breathing, blinking, swallowing, etc)
  2. Controls Your Fight or Flight Response to Danger
  3. Only Processes Positive Commands
  4. Follows Clear Orders (that’s why visualisation is so powerful)
  5. Judges Your Thoughts, Words & Actions According to Your Values (conscience)
  6. Stores Memories;
  7. Organises Memories;
  8. Represses Memories associated with unresolved negative emotions;
  9. Presents Repressed Memories for Resolution;

Your unconscious mind is responsible for all your behaviour, all your learning, and all the information that goes into your brain –  it is the control centre of your entire body.  If your unconscious mind is not doing it’s job your life suddenly gets much harder – you have to think about how to balance yourself, you have to consciously decide how many times your heart will beat in a minute, and pay attention to how often you need to breath in and out to be comfortable and  to blink to keep your eyes lubricated.

All of this would take a lot of effort and you would be so busy making all these decisions moment by moment that you wouldn’t have any energy to spare for higher-level thinking, but your unconscious takes care of it for you and it ‘just happens!

Harnessing The Power of Your Unconscious Mind To Achieve Goals

Imagine what would happen if we could harness the power of our unconscious mind to achieve our goals, instead of just take care of core functions.  If you thought about the 9 key functions above, you might notice that numbers 3, 4, and 5 all deal with things we can influence if we choose.

Positive Commands and Clear Orders

We can give our unconscious minds positive commands – for example, “Earn $10,000 per month.”  “Weigh 60kg”.   These are much more powerful and effective than, “Lose weight.” or “Don’t be poor.” or “Eat less.”  This is also why visualisation is such a powerful tool – your unconscious mind takes the picture you feed it of an end result, and helps you turn it into reality.  It receives these pictures as a clear command of something you want to be true.

The Importance of Congruity

Because your unconscious mind is a clear and impartial judge it is really important that your thoughts, words, and actions are congruent with your values.  Money is often a key area where our desires and values collide because we often have a conflict between what we would like to earn or own, and what we believe we deserve.  If you set a goal about your wealth that your conscience tells you is wrong, then you will probably not achieve it.  Success in business is another common area of conflict because we are constantly bombarded with stereotypes about ‘evil’ business men.

If we deal with these conflicts and uncover the unconscious beliefs that conflict with our goals our unconscious mind will guide us almost without effort until we achieve those goals.  Instead of pulling us away from behaviour that supports our goals it will guide us toward it, so that we are no longer having to discipline ourselves every moment, but rather are willingly taking the necessary actions.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of how your brain processes language and pictures and controls your behaviour, I have found that the insights NLP provides into my unconscious mind has dramatically increased my power to achieve the things I really want in life – from material goods, and opportunities to relationships.


We all have an unconscious mind, and it is a very powerful tool, but most of us let it go to waste.  You can harness your unconscious mind and use it to help you achieve your dreams.

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“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison


Are you exasperated because you feel like you tried everything and it still seems like nothing works? Perhaps you have exhausted your resources and have sought advice from experts but your great idea just won’t take off?

I often say that the best success comes from small actions applied consistently, which is why I encourage you to keep going even when you think you have ‘tried’ it all.

Take Thomas Edison’s example as quoted about and adopt the mindset and persistence that created his success.

Here’s my strategy for persistence:

  • Remove failure from your vocabulary. There is no such thing, there’s only feedback. The only failure is the failure to continue to take action.
  • Take into account the changing scenarios, implement the learning of the last attempt and keep going.
  • Commit to doing NOT thinking about doing.
  • Ask for help, the person who has accomplished has tips on what they did wrong and may be willing to save you the trouble by sharing their experience.
  • Ask Quality Questions of yourself and others. Listen to the responses and take action on what you discovered.
  • Learn the right time to take action. Sometimes in-action on certain things is the right time of action.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaching and coaching we draw on this presupposition “that there is no failure only feedback” we find it empowers us to keep on the pursuit of success for the road is paved with obstacles and the best way to conquer them is to take the feedback and keep pushing.

So view the setbacks as temporary, decide on your next step and do it!

Are you the type of person who have a started several projects and have left them unfinished because of a glitch or two? Well, it’s the start of a brand new year. And it’s time to change your ways.

Discover new ways to do things. It’s what keeps the world turning.

Discover new concepts in NLP. Enter your details here to receive a free gift and info pack for our next NLP Practitioner Training. Get it here or email support@lifepuzzle.com.au with GIFT in the subject line.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

Your resolve and the words you choose will give you what you want.


“I’ll do it!” are probably the most powerful words you can speak. It means you will use all your resources at your disposal to attain a particular end. It declares a complete mastery of self. These words turn dreams to reality. They translate to ENERGY.

They are the exact opposite of saying, “I can’t.” In saying these words, you lose power — you give away your power. It declares a helpless state. It manifests your un-resourceful state.

In Life Puzzle, we believe that there are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states. We use the power of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) so you can outgrow your un-resourceful state and be ‘at cause’ or in charge of your success. And not ‘at effect’, or be acted upon and on the powerless/helpless position, making excuses and blaming other people.

Language codes the way the brain responds to stimuli. It limits or sets boundaries to reality or the external environment. Because it filters what goes inside your mind from the billions of bits of information in the external environment.

So if your mind codes your response to stimuli in language, changing your language can recode it. Makes a lot of sense does it? You can then manifest new and better behaviours.

Then keep saying, “I’ll do it!” and “I can!”.

There will probably be no limit to what you can do.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

A few years ago I did some research into ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and how effective they really are.  Most statistics show that roughly 70% of people will have abandoned their ‘resolutions’ by 15th January and what I found was that most of the population think of New Year’s resolutions as something that you need to ‘try’ really hard at.

In considering my research, I realised that many struggling to make those ‘resolutions’ a reality are sabotaging themselves by doing one or more of the following…

  1. They wait til January – I believe that change and development is a process of constant evolution.  Waiting until December or January to decide that we will become better versions of ourselves seems like a waste of the rest of the year!  Please don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a big picture plan to know where you’re going, and the milestones, month to month, week to week tracking/review is what really allows you to see your progress.
  2. Their definition is flawed – “Resolution” loosely defined is to find an answer to something. That doesn’t mean that we have taken action on it.  For example: You know that the answer to having more energy is to shed a few kilos BUT that doesn’t mean that you have committed to eat well, exercise consistently and actually take action on the solution, right?  A big part of achieving change is your commitment to take action on a decision/answer.  People who succeed in their goals make a plan and then take action!
  3. Their Frame of Mind is not supporting their outcome – Most resolutions start off on the wrong foot with negative language or lack of something.  For example: “I’m going to give up…” “I will quit….”  “I want to lose…”  This mentality focuses on the thing that you don’t want (Remember: your unconscious mind cannot process negatives so it just draws more attention to the thing you want to have and that you’re denying yourself).  This lack mentality, creates negative emotions of ‘fear/anxiety’ that you won’t succeed or guilt when you don’t stick to your plan.
  4. They’re not clear on what it is they actually want:  “I want to be happy this year”, “I want to have more money this year” – these sound great but what do they really mean? Happiness could be a moment with your kids/partner – that would be achieved then wouldn’t it? You could bank an extra $1 than you did last year – that would be achieved wouldn’t it? NO?! That’s right, because you meant something different.  How would you know if you got it, specifically?

So here’s a few things to do to make 2016 the year that you get stuff done, a year that you can look back and say “I achieved…”

  1. Set Commitments – Rather than resolutions, set yourself up with some commitments.  This carries more weight and becomes a promise.  Make a plan, take action on your commitment and make it consistent.
  2. Know what you want and move toward it – The S.M.A.R.T. Principles are great for get Specific on what you want and if your ‘itty bitty s%^&y committee’ is sitting on your shoulder saying you can’t have it, then you will most like lose motivation.
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  3. Set Milestones and rewards – Most people make the goal so BIG that they overwhelm themselves before the start.  Set an end goal, then work backwards to create milestones that you can check in on to make sure you’re on track.
  4. Make it physical/action/outcome – I see many people focus on a goal that is not measurable, they know that they want it but there’s no action to support the attainment.  STOP, DO, and you will have.  Take action!  Whether it’s picking up the phone to connect with someone, getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier for a walk or simply blocking out some time in your diary to do some meditation… the key here is to DO not think about Doing.
  5. Change your language – The relationship you have with yourself is an important one. Instead of using language like: “I’m giving up…” see how you feel about: “I’m choosing to be/do/have…” It’s much more empowering as it communicates the goal in a better way to your unconscious mind.

In 10 years of coaching at Life Puzzle I have seen many people spend a lot of time dreaming about how the year will be different and yet they are still ‘trying’ to achieve the same outcomes when you talk to them again at the next turn of the calendar year.  So please, Instead of ‘trying’ just start ‘doing’ and if you need a little help you may wish to join us at Quest 4 Your Best.

Make those Commitments your Reality and until next time,

Be well and Be Empowered!

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales


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