#TuesdayTips; perception is projection!

Fortunately (or unfortunately) what you encounter in other people is often what you are yourself. Hence why perception is projection.

At Life Puzzle through our Training and Coaching Programs, we meet a lot of people.  The people we meet have relationships at work, friendships, relationships with family members and so on. Some of the people in their lives make them happy, others had behaviours that bothered them and some of them even recognise we that often attract people in our lives to learn from them.

It was interesting as a few years ago I met a lady who had a team of people in her business that she claimed were constantly ‘taking advantage of her’ and her constant complaint was that there was ‘no good staff or good people out there’.  The problem was that the behaviours that she was complaining about were the exact types of behaviours that she was unconsciously exhibiting in other areas of her life.

Although it was a challenging conversation to have with her (and she resisted that she could possibly be doing these behaviours initially) she came to realise that in fact she was.  Now this wasn’t a situation for situation exchange, here’s a couple of examples:

  1. Broken Agreements: She was upset about her staff being late despite their agreements to be on time. In her personal life she was late for her family all the time.
  2. Accountability: She complained that they would constantly miss their targets then blame the economy, the customers or her. In her friendships she would promise to do something for a friend and then get mad at the friend for expecting her to do it when she already had so much to do.

When she came to the realisation that these annoyances where things that she was unconsciously doing herself she changed her approach to her staff and (her words) “it was like magically a new team of the same people appeared over a few weeks”.

Life is a series of encounters. The more people you meet and observe, the better we understand ourselves. The more we understand ourselves the better our chances of healing and understanding others.

Perception is projection is a universal belief system under Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). In Life Puzzle, we use it in Business and Life Coaching.

To see ourselves fully and the things that are holding us back from becoming the person we want most to be, request a FREE Deep Dive Discovery Session and meet Chandell. It only takes a single step. Contact [email protected] now.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

Your resolve and the words you choose will give you what you want.

#TuesdayTips

“I’ll do it!” are probably the most powerful words you can speak. It means you will use all your resources at your disposal to attain a particular end. It declares a complete mastery of self. These words turn dreams to reality. They translate to ENERGY.

They are the exact opposite of saying, “I can’t.” In saying these words, you lose power — you give away your power. It declares a helpless state. It manifests your un-resourceful state.

In Life Puzzle, we believe that there are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states. We use the power of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) so you can outgrow your un-resourceful state and be ‘at cause’ or in charge of your success. And not ‘at effect’, or be acted upon and on the powerless/helpless position, making excuses and blaming other people.

Language codes the way the brain responds to stimuli. It limits or sets boundaries to reality or the external environment. Because it filters what goes inside your mind from the billions of bits of information in the external environment.

So if your mind codes your response to stimuli in language, changing your language can recode it. Makes a lot of sense does it? You can then manifest new and better behaviours.

Then keep saying, “I’ll do it!” and “I can!”.

There will probably be no limit to what you can do.

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

A few years ago I did some research into ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and how effective they really are.  Most statistics show that roughly 70% of people will have abandoned their ‘resolutions’ by 15th January and what I found was that most of the population think of New Year’s resolutions as something that you need to ‘try’ really hard at.

In considering my research, I realised that many struggling to make those ‘resolutions’ a reality are sabotaging themselves by doing one or more of the following…

  1. They wait til January – I believe that change and development is a process of constant evolution.  Waiting until December or January to decide that we will become better versions of ourselves seems like a waste of the rest of the year!  Please don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a big picture plan to know where you’re going, and the milestones, month to month, week to week tracking/review is what really allows you to see your progress.
  2. Their definition is flawed – “Resolution” loosely defined is to find an answer to something. That doesn’t mean that we have taken action on it.  For example: You know that the answer to having more energy is to shed a few kilos BUT that doesn’t mean that you have committed to eat well, exercise consistently and actually take action on the solution, right?  A big part of achieving change is your commitment to take action on a decision/answer.  People who succeed in their goals make a plan and then take action!
  3. Their Frame of Mind is not supporting their outcome – Most resolutions start off on the wrong foot with negative language or lack of something.  For example: “I’m going to give up…” “I will quit….”  “I want to lose…”  This mentality focuses on the thing that you don’t want (Remember: your unconscious mind cannot process negatives so it just draws more attention to the thing you want to have and that you’re denying yourself).  This lack mentality, creates negative emotions of ‘fear/anxiety’ that you won’t succeed or guilt when you don’t stick to your plan.
  4. They’re not clear on what it is they actually want:  “I want to be happy this year”, “I want to have more money this year” – these sound great but what do they really mean? Happiness could be a moment with your kids/partner – that would be achieved then wouldn’t it? You could bank an extra $1 than you did last year – that would be achieved wouldn’t it? NO?! That’s right, because you meant something different.  How would you know if you got it, specifically?

So here’s a few things to do to make 2016 the year that you get stuff done, a year that you can look back and say “I achieved…”

  1. Set Commitments – Rather than resolutions, set yourself up with some commitments.  This carries more weight and becomes a promise.  Make a plan, take action on your commitment and make it consistent.
  2. Know what you want and move toward it – The S.M.A.R.T. Principles are great for get Specific on what you want and if your ‘itty bitty s%^&y committee’ is sitting on your shoulder saying you can’t have it, then you will most like lose motivation.
    Use this FREE tool to Boost Your Confidence it’s our gift to you.

  3. Set Milestones and rewards – Most people make the goal so BIG that they overwhelm themselves before the start.  Set an end goal, then work backwards to create milestones that you can check in on to make sure you’re on track.
  4. Make it physical/action/outcome – I see many people focus on a goal that is not measurable, they know that they want it but there’s no action to support the attainment.  STOP, DO, and you will have.  Take action!  Whether it’s picking up the phone to connect with someone, getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier for a walk or simply blocking out some time in your diary to do some meditation… the key here is to DO not think about Doing.
  5. Change your language – The relationship you have with yourself is an important one. Instead of using language like: “I’m giving up…” see how you feel about: “I’m choosing to be/do/have…” It’s much more empowering as it communicates the goal in a better way to your unconscious mind.

In 10 years of coaching at Life Puzzle I have seen many people spend a lot of time dreaming about how the year will be different and yet they are still ‘trying’ to achieve the same outcomes when you talk to them again at the next turn of the calendar year.  So please, Instead of ‘trying’ just start ‘doing’ and if you need a little help you may wish to join us at Quest 4 Your Best.

Make those Commitments your Reality and until next time,

Be well and Be Empowered!

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By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

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