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#TuesdayTips

You probably know that not everyone shares your opinions about things, but have you ever thought just how often you make assumptions that lead to misunderstanding?

I’m convinced that most of our communication and relationship problems stem from the assumptions we carelessly make. Once a friend from Portugal came to stay with me. She was visiting Melbourne for a few days as part of her tour around Australia and she wanted to see the sights. So I planned to take her along the Great Ocean Road, into the Dandenongs, and the Mornington Peninsula up to Arthur’s Seat and see all the wonderful beaches and views because those are all the things I love!

My thought was, “What can I show her that’s really beautiful and uniquely Melbourne?” and I assumed that she would want to see and do the things I would like, if I were in her position. I was so busy making a program that fit my own assumptions about Melbourne that I completely missed the clues she gave me. In conversations before her visit, she talked about the shows she saw when she was in London and how much she loved the theatre and the arts. She even mentioned an Art exhibition that was going on at the National Gallery and all that sort of stuff but I missed it completely. So we started doing the things I had planned and she was miserable the whole time and I’m thinking, “How come she’s not enjoying herself? This is awful.”

The next day she asked, “How do I get to the trains and the public transport?”

I said, “Where do you want to go? I’ll take you.”

And she says, “I really want to go to National Art Gallery and see an exhibition that’s on there at the moment” and it occurred to me that I’d just totally missed all the cues of the things that she wanted to do, I was so excited about bringing her and showing her all these things that I thought were really cool that I forgot to find out what interested her.

I see sales people and business owners all the time who are so concerned that they won’t say the right thing, that they miss all the cues.

They assume that people aren’t biting on the bait they’re putting out there because they’re not getting the words right. In a lot of cases they’re so caught up on what they’re going to say next or what they’re going to do next that they don’t actually hear the buying signs from the clients.

Most people actually tell you what they need if you’re listening carefully enough. Sometimes I do role-plays with my clients where I actually get them to sell to me and it’s really interesting watching them just make assumptions about what my needs could be rather than actually spending some time asking some questions.

This comes back to the part of the sales process we are actually finding out information from the clients. So the first thing that people who are not necessarily well versed in sales do is they go in and they’ve prepared all the things that they’re going to say to make sure that that client gets interested in what they want them to be interested in. In actual fact the best thing you can do when you go into a sales meeting is to ask some questions and then shut up and listen.

Then you listen some more – and if you open your mouth at all, it’s to ask questions about the things they are saying. If you do that, I can just about guarantee that you will learn what you need to know to close the sale. You would really be astounded to learn how many sales are lost just because we make assumptions about what the other person is looking for.

One of the most powerful tools of NLP is learning to ask questions and read the other person – not to manipulate them, but to hear what their problems and concerns really are. The techniques I learned have closed more sales, and resolved more communication issues than I can count.

Meta Description: How do assumptions kill sales and negotiations? Let me count the ways. Assuming you know what the other person is going to say is a very dangerous habit, and will kill sales faster than just about any other thing you can do.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

I firmly believe that each of us have all the resources we need to make a success of both our business and our personal lives – it’s just that sometimes we get caught up in ways of thinking and behaving that mess us up over and over again. I’ve seen it a lot in teams I’ve worked with, and individuals and corporate groups I’ve trained.

In my book, “Confident Closing: Sales Secrets That Grew A Business by 400% in 6 Months And How They Can Work For You!” I talk about the transformation Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) brought to my own life, and how quickly I was able to teach others so that they had similar transformations in their own areas of particular need.

Our Roadblocks May Look Different, But They Have The Same Root Cause

In a way, we hate to hear this because we like to think that our problems are unique and that’s why we can’t move past them, but if you think about it differently, this reality is quite comforting: – If others have found a tool that helps them change, then I can too. I don’t need to stay ‘stuck’ in my problem!

The root cause of all our problems is our unconscious mind, and the beliefs and behaviours that we store there. The real problem here is that they are unconscious so it’s very hard to pinpoint them and change them. When I attended my first Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) training I’d been seeing a psychologist to help with depression for months and going over the same pile of misery every week. It’s hard for me to believe even now, what a transformation a few days made in my outlook, but I’ve seen the same thing happen over and over again in other people.

The key is that while Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) doesn’t teach that your past isn’t important, it does teach that you are not bound by your past and it delivers the tools you need to release the chains that are holding you to your old ways. It is almost like magic!

Let me tell you about a couple of the transformations I’ve seen as people overcame the personal and professional roadblocks that had been keeping them stuck for years (I’ve changed names, but the stories are real):

Samantha is an effervescent extrovert

she is so bubbly that she scares some people. In a sales team this is great because it doesn’t matter how many rejections she gets, she’s always ready to get up and go again – on the other hand, she scares off some really great prospects. She was in one of my group trainings and we looked at ways to develop rapport and relationships. As she learned to read her prospect over the phone or in person she was able to tone down her effervescence and close more sales.

Samantha never felt as though this was ‘putting on an act’ because she was simply thinking more about what would make the other person comfortable than herself. She was excited about the fact that she was able to close nearly twice the number of sales, but she was even more excited by the fact that she was able to build a closer relationship with both her sister and her own son – both of whom were introverts. They’d always got on fairly well, but now they were actually enjoying being together.

Maybe you know someone like Clive

Clive has been moving ‘away from’ things his whole life. He didn’t want to be fat, or unfit, or poor. In the business context he didn’t want to fail – so every month he reached the acceptable target that he set for himself. The problem with this is that you end up on a see-saw. If you feel fat at 60kg (or 80kg or whatever) then you start to work on losing weight – but your only real goal is to be lighter than that point. So you lose a bit of weight, feel better about yourself, relax … and next thing you know your weight is right back up there (or even higher) – and that was Clive’s problem – he just got heavier and heavier incrementally.

It was the same with finances – he wanted to be ‘not poor’, so he’d make some good money, feel much better, relax and his financial situation would sink back to where it was. Fitness … Sales Targets … same story. When we uncovered the unconscious beliefs which were driving his behaviour and dealt with them, things started to slowly change for Clive. He learned to move toward genuine goals that he was passionate about, rather than ‘away from’ states which he didn’t like.

I could keep telling you stories about others who have been able to overcome their roadblocks, and achieve their personal and professional goals after years of frustration. But I’d like to invite you to experience it for yourself. Come along to my next Confident Closing workshop CONCLO and learn more.

Meta Description: Most people have roadblock – barriers they keep coming up against no matter which route they try. The good news is that NLP is a powerful tool that can help you overcome them and live resourcefully.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

Your unconscious mind is very powerful and you can use it help you achieve your goals if you follow a few simple steps. Let’s start by looking at some of the key functions of your unconscious mind.

9 Key Functions of Your Unconscious Mind

Controls Your Body’s Core Functions (breathing, blinking, swallowing, etc)
Controls Your Fight or Flight Response to Danger
Only Processes Positive Commands
Follows Clear Orders (that’s why visualisation is so powerful)
Judges Your Thoughts, Words & Actions According to Your Values (conscience)
Stores Memories;
Organises Memories;
Represses Memories associated with unresolved negative emotions;
Presents Repressed Memories for Resolution;

Your unconscious mind is responsible for all your behaviour, all your learning, and all the information that goes into your brain – it is the control centre of your entire body. If your unconscious mind is not doing it’s job your life suddenly gets much harder – you have to think about how to balance yourself, you have to consciously decide how many times your heart will beat in a minute, and pay attention to how often you need to breath in and out to be comfortable and to blink to keep your eyes lubricated.

All of this would take a lot of effort and you would be so busy making all these decisions moment by moment that you wouldn’t have any energy to spare for higher-level thinking, but your unconscious takes care of it for you and it ‘just happens!

Harnessing The Power of Your Unconscious Mind To Achieve Goals

Imagine what would happen if we could harness the power of our unconscious mind to achieve our goals, instead of just take care of core functions. If you thought about the 9 key functions above, you might notice that numbers 3, 4, and 5 all deal with things we can influence if we choose.

Positive Commands and Clear Orders

We can give our unconscious minds positive commands – for example, “Earn $10,000 per month.” “Weigh 60kg”. These are much more powerful and effective than, “Lose weight.” or “Don’t be poor.” or “Eat less.” This is also why visualisation is such a powerful tool – your unconscious mind takes the picture you feed it of an end result, and helps you turn it into reality. It receives these pictures as a clear command of something you want to be true.

The Importance of Congruity

Because your unconscious mind is a clear and impartial judge it is really important that your thoughts, words, and actions are congruent with your values. Money is often a key area where our desires and values collide because we often have a conflict between what we would like to earn or own, and what we believe we deserve. If you set a goal about your wealth that your conscience tells you is wrong, then you will probably not achieve it. Success in business is another common area of conflict because we are constantly bombarded with stereotypes about ‘evil’ business men.

If we deal with these conflicts and uncover the unconscious beliefs that conflict with our goals our unconscious mind will guide us almost without effort until we achieve those goals. Instead of pulling us away from behaviour that supports our goals it will guide us toward it, so that we are no longer having to discipline ourselves every moment, but rather are willingly taking the necessary actions.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of how your brain processes language and pictures and controls your behaviour, I have found that the insights NLP provides into my unconscious mind has dramatically increased my power to achieve the things I really want in life – from material goods, and opportunities to relationships.

***

We all have an unconscious mind, and it is a very powerful tool, but most of us let it go to waste. You can harness your unconscious mind and use it to help you achieve your dreams.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the word don’t is something that we encourage our clients to change in their language. It is based on the belief that the unconscious mind does not process negative statements.

This concept was explained many times by NLP Trainers through this example: Don’t think of a blue tree. I bet you, an image of a blue tree went through your mind after reading this. Even if you didn’t think of a blue tree you needed to create a blue tree first to negate the purple or green one you did think of.

In this example, you just used words (blue, tree) that made your listener create an image in his/her mind. You made that suggestion and he/she just can’t not think of a blue tree.

This concept is so important in communication of all kinds. In parenting imagine if you told you children to stop safely at the crossing instead of telling them not to cross. In business if you told your staff to be 10mins early for the meeting instead of telling the not to be late. In a relationship telling your partner that you love their commitment instead of them not to cheat on you or break your heart.

The key is to go straight to what you want your listener to think and do in an affirmative manner, focusing on what you want them to DO.

Rephrase your statements and use a positive tone. Like for example, instead of saying, “Don’t eat too much during the holidays!” say, “Limit what you eat during the holidays.” Sounds better, right?

Observe what happens if you follow this friendly tip you might just get people congruent and happy to give you what you ask for.

Learn more concepts in NLP by registering in our next NLP Practitioner Training. Visit the Events page of this website.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

#TuesdayTips

Are you exasperated because you feel like you tried everything and it still seems like nothing works? Perhaps you have exhausted your resources and have sought advice from experts but your great idea just won’t take off?

I often say that the best success comes from small actions applied consistently, which is why I encourage you to keep going even when you think you have ‘tried’ it all.

Take Thomas Edison’s example as quoted about and adopt the mindset and persistence that created his success.

Here’s my strategy for persistence:

Remove failure from your vocabulary. There is no such thing, there’s only feedback. The only failure is the failure to continue to take action.
Take into account the changing scenarios, implement the learning of the last attempt and keep going.
Commit to doing NOT thinking about doing.
Ask for help, the person who has accomplished has tips on what they did wrong and may be willing to save you the trouble by sharing their experience.
Ask Quality Questions of yourself and others. Listen to the responses and take action on what you discovered.
Learn the right time to take action. Sometimes in-action on certain things is the right time of action.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaching and coaching we draw on this presupposition “that there is no failure only feedback” we find it empowers us to keep on the pursuit of success for the road is paved with obstacles and the best way to conquer them is to take the feedback and keep pushing.

So view the setbacks as temporary, decide on your next step and do it!

Are you the type of person who have a started several projects and have left them unfinished because of a glitch or two? Well, it’s the start of a brand new year. And it’s time to change your ways.

Discover new ways to do things. It’s what keeps the world turning.

Discover new concepts in NLP. Enter your details here to receive a free gift and info pack for our next NLP Practitioner Training. Get it here or email support@lifepuzzle.com.au with GIFT in the subject line.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips; perception is projection!

Fortunately (or unfortunately) what you encounter in other people is often what you are yourself. Hence why perception is projection.

At Life Puzzle through our Training and Coaching Programs, we meet a lot of people. The people we meet have relationships at work, friendships, relationships with family members and so on. Some of the people in their lives make them happy, others had behaviours that bothered them and some of them even recognise we that often attract people in our lives to learn from them.

It was interesting as a few years ago I met a lady who had a team of people in her business that she claimed were constantly ‘taking advantage of her’ and her constant complaint was that there was ‘no good staff or good people out there’. The problem was that the behaviours that she was complaining about were the exact types of behaviours that she was unconsciously exhibiting in other areas of her life.

Although it was a challenging conversation to have with her (and she resisted that she could possibly be doing these behaviours initially) she came to realise that in fact she was. Now this wasn’t a situation for situation exchange, here’s a couple of examples:

Broken Agreements: She was upset about her staff being late despite their agreements to be on time. In her personal life she was late for her family all the time.
Accountability: She complained that they would constantly miss their targets then blame the economy, the customers or her. In her friendships she would promise to do something for a friend and then get mad at the friend for expecting her to do it when she already had so much to do.

When she came to the realisation that these annoyances where things that she was unconsciously doing herself she changed her approach to her staff and (her words) “it was like magically a new team of the same people appeared over a few weeks”.

Life is a series of encounters. The more people you meet and observe, the better we understand ourselves. The more we understand ourselves the better our chances of healing and understanding others.

Perception is projection is a universal belief system under Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). In Life Puzzle, we use it in Business and Life Coaching.

To see ourselves fully and the things that are holding us back from becoming the person we want most to be, request a FREE Deep Dive Discovery Session and meet Chandell. It only takes a single step. Contact support@lifepuzzle.com.au now.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

Your resolve and the words you choose will give you what you want.

#TuesdayTips

“I’ll do it!” are probably the most powerful words you can speak. It means you will use all your resources at your disposal to attain a particular end. It declares a complete mastery of self. These words turn dreams to reality. They translate to ENERGY.

They are the exact opposite of saying, “I can’t.” In saying these words, you lose power — you give away your power. It declares a helpless state. It manifests your un-resourceful state.

In Life Puzzle, we believe that there are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states. We use the power of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) so you can outgrow your un-resourceful state and be ‘at cause’ or in charge of your success. And not ‘at effect’, or be acted upon and on the powerless/helpless position, making excuses and blaming other people.

Language codes the way the brain responds to stimuli. It limits or sets boundaries to reality or the external environment. Because it filters what goes inside your mind from the billions of bits of information in the external environment.

So if your mind codes your response to stimuli in language, changing your language can recode it. Makes a lot of sense does it? You can then manifest new and better behaviours.

Then keep saying, “I’ll do it!” and “I can!”.

There will probably be no limit to what you can do.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

A few years ago I did some research into ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and how effective they really are. Most statistics show that roughly 70% of people will have abandoned their ‘resolutions’ by 15th January and what I found was that most of the population think of New Year’s resolutions as something that you need to ‘try’ really hard at.

In considering my research, I realised that many struggling to make those ‘resolutions’ a reality are sabotaging themselves by doing one or more of the following…

They wait til January – I believe that change and development is a process of constant evolution. Waiting until December or January to decide that we will become better versions of ourselves seems like a waste of the rest of the year! Please don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a big picture plan to know where you’re going, and the milestones, month to month, week to week tracking/review is what really allows you to see your progress.
Their definition is flawed – “Resolution” loosely defined is to find an answer to something. That doesn’t mean that we have taken action on it. For example: You know that the answer to having more energy is to shed a few kilos BUT that doesn’t mean that you have committed to eat well, exercise consistently and actually take action on the solution, right? A big part of achieving change is your commitment to take action on a decision/answer. People who succeed in their goals make a plan and then take action!
Their Frame of Mind is not supporting their outcome – Most resolutions start off on the wrong foot with negative language or lack of something. For example: “I’m going to give up…” “I will quit….” “I want to lose…” This mentality focuses on the thing that you don’t want (Remember: your unconscious mind cannot process negatives so it just draws more attention to the thing you want to have and that you’re denying yourself). This lack mentality, creates negative emotions of ‘fear/anxiety’ that you won’t succeed or guilt when you don’t stick to your plan.
They’re not clear on what it is they actually want: “I want to be happy this year”, “I want to have more money this year” – these sound great but what do they really mean? Happiness could be a moment with your kids/partner – that would be achieved then wouldn’t it? You could bank an extra $1 than you did last year – that would be achieved wouldn’t it? NO?! That’s right, because you meant something different. How would you know if you got it, specifically?

So here’s a few things to do to make 2016 the year that you get stuff done, a year that you can look back and say “I achieved…”

Set Commitments – Rather than resolutions, set yourself up with some commitments. This carries more weight and becomes a promise. Make a plan, take action on your commitment and make it consistent.
Know what you want and move toward it – The S.M.A.R.T. Principles are great for get Specific on what you want and if your ‘itty bitty s%^&y committee’ is sitting on your shoulder saying you can’t have it, then you will most like lose motivation.
Use this FREE tool to Boost Your Confidence it’s our gift to you.
Set Milestones and rewards – Most people make the goal so BIG that they overwhelm themselves before the start. Set an end goal, then work backwards to create milestones that you can check in on to make sure you’re on track.
Make it physical/action/outcome – I see many people focus on a goal that is not measurable, they know that they want it but there’s no action to support the attainment. STOP, DO, and you will have. Take action! Whether it’s picking up the phone to connect with someone, getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier for a walk or simply blocking out some time in your diary to do some meditation… the key here is to DO not think about Doing.
Change your language – The relationship you have with yourself is an important one. Instead of using language like: “I’m giving up…” see how you feel about: “I’m choosing to be/do/have…” It’s much more empowering as it communicates the goal in a better way to your unconscious mind.

In 10 years of coaching at Life Puzzle I have seen many people spend a lot of time dreaming about how the year will be different and yet they are still ‘trying’ to achieve the same outcomes when you talk to them again at the next turn of the calendar year. So please, Instead of ‘trying’ just start ‘doing’ and if you need a little help you may wish to join us at Quest 4 Your Best.

Make those Commitments your Reality and until next time,

Be well and Be Empowered!

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

#TuesdayTips

Our Roadblocks May Look Different, But They Have The Same Root Cause

Samantha is an effervescent extrovert

Maybe you know someone like Clive

#TuesdayTips

9 Key Functions of Your Unconscious Mind

Harnessing The Power of Your Unconscious Mind To Achieve Goals

Positive Commands and Clear Orders

The Importance of Congruity

#TuesdayTips

#TuesdayTips

#TuesdayTips; perception is projection!

#TuesdayTips

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