It’s not about technique!
“Did you know that the #1 reason people don’t ask for a sale is not because they don’t think the product or service, they are selling is valuable?
… It’s because they are afraid their prospect doesn’t like them enough to buy.”
~ Chandell Labbozzetta
Liking Really DOES Matter in Business
One of my early sales mentors and models used to remind the team at every single meeting that emotion and personality were just as important in Business-to-Business sales as they are in Business-to-Consumer sales – in some ways they are even more important. Closing a sale is almost never simply about features, benefits, and logic.
I often tell the story of Bob, the Photocopier man in my sales trainings – for context here’s the short version…
Some years ago, I was preparing for a conference and the department decided they needed to print some additional materials. We had a problem with our existing copier, and I had authorisation to purchase a new one. I was trying to distinguish between two copiers that looked identical from a brand that we knew and liked, and they sent their sales representative to talk to me.
Time was short and a couple of my colleagues were out sick, so I just wanted to clarify the features and order the new photocopier as quickly as possible. I explained this to Bob when he arrived, but he wasn’t listening and jumped straight to the start of his presentation. 90-minutes later I ushered him out the door without the sale and called the competing company.
When we’re talking about this situation during training people sometimes think this is an example of “Just get to the point, answer the question, and take the sale when you’re talking to a business.” It’s not – in fact, it’s the opposite.
You see, when Bob walked into our office the only thing that stood between him and a $45,000 closed sale was his ability to read the customer and answer my burning questions. He failed to do that… And he lost the sale to his competitor. In fact, he cost his company hundreds of thousands of dollars because before long all our photocopiers came from the competitor.
So, here are the 5 secrets that will get people to like you and give you the sale…
Secret of Liking #1: Listen Carefully
If you’re selling anything you need to know the product or service you are selling inside out. By all means, have your scripts and presentations ready and study the FAQs, but the real secret to creating trust and likely is your ability to discover what they really need to know before they buy – and to determine the questions they are not asking.
Secret of Liking #2: Discover Your Prospect’s Primary Communication Style
We all have one or two senses that are more highly developed than others. Identifying (and using) the language that resonates most effectively with the person you are talking to is an incredibly effective way of building trust and liking with others. It has the added benefit of demonstrating that you are really listening (See Secret #1).
Discover your own primary communication style by taking this short quiz.
Secret of Liking #3: Enter Their World
In the world of advertising, you’ll often hear people say that you need to ‘enter the conversation people are already having in their own heads.’ That’s a powerful truth for increasing engagement, but it’s also a wise strategy for creating and growing the emotional connection between two people. It’s hard not to like someone who demonstrates both by their questions and their responses to your answers that they have made the effort to understand your world and to feel your pain and that opens people up to listen when you offer a solution.
Secret of Liking #4: Pay Attention to Details Specifics sell.
Generalisations may capture the imagination and intrigue, but without details to back up the lofty promises and glorious vision they can lead to suspicion. In one-to-one conversations (in person, on the phone, or via Zoom), use the information you have gathered from applying secrets #1-3 to zero in on the details that you know will interest the other person. Save the ‘laundry list’ for large group communications and sales letters where you are speaking to a wider group.
Secret of Liking #5: Give Them Space
Humans are designed to pursue that which runs away and flee from that which pursues. The needy salesperson rarely makes a sale because prospects sense their desperation and instinctively step back. Your likability index measurably increases when you give others space to explore other options while knowing that you are still there. There’s a fine, fine line between persistence and space and so it’s essential to expand your communication and people-reading skills.
At LifePuzzle Sales is the #1 Life Skill
We believe that this is true because sales is also a fundamental HUMAN skill – one of the few skills that doesn’t just apply to one aspect of your life, but which translates across cultures, languages, environments, and specialties.
As we run trainings in corporate environments, as well as public trainings we constantly hear back that the communication and persuasion skills our clients learn are transforming their teams, homes, marriages, parenting, and friendships (even though we don’t actually conduct marriage or parenting training). I think that it is a sad reflection on our society that it puts ‘sales’ in the icky pile (you wouldn’t believe how many people recoil from the idea of sales training) because I think that has two critical consequences (quite apart from the actual $$ value of a sale):
- Without well-developed sales (persuasion, influence, and communication) skills no-one is able to share their excellent ideas persuasively and the world misses out on opportunities for growth, change, and productive discussion;
- Anyone who is not well-equipped to sell their own ideas and products and to influence others is vulnerable to leaders, managers, and others who possess those skills… Which can lead to dangerously authoritarian situations.
If you would like to learn more about LifePuzzle’s sales and communication programs and their role in business development, take a look HERE.
“The greatest success is to be able to reach your goals through the right mindset and preparedness. With determination and dedication, everything can be achieved.”
~ Fyodor Dostoevsky
What Is Success and How Can You Achieve It?
We all want success in life and most people are on the hunt for a way to achieve it because they realise that it won’t just fall into their lap.
But how do you define success?
How will you know when you have achieved it?
First of all you need to define what success means for you. My definition of success probably isn’t the same as yours, which is…
- a very good thing because we are both unique people with our own desires and goals; and
- enabling – because I can help you achieve your goal without jeopardising my ability to reach my own goal.
First, you need to set clear goals that are meaningful for you. Then you need to make a plan to reach those goals which sometimes requires an outside eye – and always demands hard work over time. Along the way, you will probably make mistakes and it’s important for you to recognise them, learn from them, and keep moving forward.
A positive and empowering mindset and a good coach are key factors when you are learning new skills and trying to achieve more than you’ve ever done before. Both of these keep you focused on the goal and provide momentum when you hit setbacks.
Think of your success in the same way that elite athletes approach their own goals – they don’t try to get their alone – they have carefully selected team to support them.
The Power of Mindset in Achieving Success
Your mindset is one of the most important elements in achieving success.
Mindset plays a very important part in your success – or lack thereof. The difference between a true champion and a ‘wannabe’ is rarely a question of talent. It has very little to do with the training, time, or effort expended either. Instead, it has everything to do with the message that your unconscious mind is sending out.
Having a sense of purpose, repeating affirmations, and believing in yourself help you to remain focused and motivated, but retraining your unconscious mind and removing every trace of doubt is even more powerful. When all the messages you send to yourself are 100% congruent then you will make better decisions, react to challenges more quickly, and have more confidence to go for what you want and succeed in reaching your goals.
How to Be Prepared for Anything Life Throws Your Way
Life rarely turns out exactly how we planned it to look.
Stuff happens – sometimes that’s fantastic – like being invited to work with a dream client or given a huge promotion; sometimes it stinks – like a cancer diagnosis or a cancelled contract.
I remember the year my Mum died – unexpectedly soon after a cancer diagnosis. It wasn’t just that I was overwhelmed with grief, everything was complicated by the fact that we were also in business together and we had a busy year of trainings scheduled for both of us – tied to income as well as promises we had made to clients.
I had a plan for the year that I had thought was pretty robust – but suddenly I had to come up with an alternative almost overnight. Thankfully, I have trained my mind to offer solutions, rather than roadblocks and I had a team of coaches and colleagues to draw on because I needed all the flexibility of thinking and action I could muster, but I know that many people have trained their minds to focus on problems rather than solutions…
Are you one of them?
Here’s a quick test…
You’ve just been told that a valuable client is quitting at the end of the month. You need to make up their income immediately or you won’t be able to pay your bills. How well do you sleep that night and where do your thoughts run?
Identifying and Developing a Winning Mindset
Hopefully, your answer to the scenario I’ve just outlined went something like this…
- Check the balance sheet and determine the minimum client value required to break even;
- Check pipeline to see if there are any upgrades or new prospects who can fill the gap;
- Sketch out some alternative revenue streams for quick cash or client influx;
- Consider some long-term strategic actions that will mean you are never again this dependent on a single client;
- Get on with whatever you had planned for the evening;
- Go to sleep expecting a solution to present itself and get a good night’s sleep.
A winning mindset:
- Acknowledges the reality and the gravity of a situation – it doesn’t try to blur the unpleasant consequences or details whether it’s in the sphere of business, relationships, health, or finances;
- Evaluates existing options (if any);
- Looks for unexplored opportunities, information, ideas – and is willing to list and entertain even the seemingly impossible or improbable;
- Assumes that this problem will demand them to grow and stretch to meet its demands;
- Sets the problem aside;
- Goes to sleep asking for solutions rather than wallowing in the problem and creating desperation.
… And the result is that the next day, you are well-rested and equipped to….
Take Decisive Action Towards Your Goals
You see, a winning mindset isn’t just affirmations and self-talk.
It’s the kind of self-talk that ignites massive and decisive action and creates desirable outcomes that really matter to you.
And that brings us right back to where we started… to YOUR definition of Success.
If you need some clarity on what success means to you – maybe because you’ve been pursuing someone else’s definition of success – or if you have been derailed by catastrophe and don’t have anyone to help you get your mindset back together – then we’d love to help you.
Click HERE to schedule a FREE 15-minute clarity call with one of our team and see if one of our programs will help you get back on track.
When YOU set goals, what happens?
If you said, “Not much,” you’re in good company and you probably don’t think goals have played much of a role in your success.
I’m not going to talk about the process of setting goals here, instead I’m going to talk about how you can use your unconscious mind to keep you on track and help you achieve your goals. more easily and effectively
I talk to a lot of people who say, “Goal setting doesn’t work for me, Chandell, but I still get plenty done.” Usually, that’s true, but then when we start to talk it’s clear that while they may not have followed a formal goal-setting process, the ones who are kicking goals and shaping their lives have a vision of how they want things to be, and have made significant decisions about what they want to be, do, or have and then set out to act in ways that would lead to that outcome. That’s goal setting!
But here’s the thing… Like most outcomes there are faster and slower ways of getting from A to B. I always like to find the fastest, best, and easiest way to achieve my outcomes and what follows is an outline of a goal-setting method that ticks all those boxes for myself and my clients.
What is Goal Setting?
Goal setting is all about deciding what you want, why you want it, and what achieving that thing will do for you. Whether you do this process formally or informally it is behind all your accomplishments.
When you decide that you do (or do not) want something, your unconscious mind sets to work behind the scenes to turn that decision into a self-fulfilling prophecy and the clearer and stronger your vision of the outcome is, the more effectively your unconscious mind can do this.
Goal Getting
Once you’ve set your goals … and yes, choosing not to achieve anything is also a goal … your conscious mind sets to work to make those goals come to fruition.
Have you noticed how much less distractible you are when you have an important or appealing project to work on? You may not have written down all the steps you need to take, but your mind is creating momentum without any overt effort on your part. You might wake up in the morning with a new idea, or find that it comes to you while you’re taking a walk, then, when you sit down to work on it everything falls into place.
That’s because your unconscious mind is propelling you towards that goal. Thus, even when your conscious mind is toying with the idea of watching TV or playing another level of your favourite video game your unconscious mind keeps offering you the choice to act differently.
One of the things that often stops people from reaching their goals is the amount of willpower and deliberate effort it takes to stay focused. When you harness your unconscious mind and give it clear instructions about what you are trying to achieve then you take that pressure off your conscious mind. This frees up your energy to actually do the work required to reach that goal, so it’s a really powerful tool for achieving goals.
The Importance of Visualising Your Outcome
If you really can’t visualise yourself achieving your goal, then you probably should ask whether you can achieve it. The clear picture mental of yourself achieving your goal gives your unconscious mind all the momentum it needs to carry you forward to success.
In my experience, people who can’t get a clear picture of themselves achieving the goal often have unconscious reservations about their ability to do so. That’s important information, because once you realise what is happening inside your head, you can change your beliefs and your behaviours.
“That which was unconscious, when made conscious ceases to exist.”
Carl Jung
The limiting beliefs and negative emotions that hinder our goal-setting can only be removed when we become aware of them. Often they are hidden beneath years of habit and thinking patterns that are so engrained that we don’t even notice the little voice that pops up and says…”Ooh, you’re not good at that!” or, “That’s risky!” or… “If you do that, you’ll lose the love of your life!” But, we hear it… and it rules our behaviour without our noticing.
However, you have a choice…
Once you’ve given your unconscious mind a vivid picture of where you want to be, you can work through the milestones you need to achieve those goals and your unconscious mind will support you through all the decisions and action you need to make along the way instead of sabotaging your intentions by tempting you to indulge in “just one more episode of “Big Bang Theory”.
When I was writing my book, “Confident Closing: sales secrets that grew a business by 400% in six month and how they can work for you,” my final goal was to hold that book in my hand and be able to say, “I’ve done it!” Early in the process I created a mock-up of the cover so that I could focus my unconscious mind on what the finished product would look like. Although many things change in the process (including the cover and title) while I was writing it I had a picture in my mind of me holding the finished book.
Along the way there were many milestones:-
- Write the book;
- Edit the book;
- Design the cover, illustrations, & internal layout;
- Organise printing, ISBN, etc.
At every stage, I had a clear picture in my mind, and I was feeding that in the background to my unconscious mind so that I stayed focused and kept moving forward. I still had to make decisions, and put in the effort, but my unconscious mind kept prodding me into action.
The Importance of Visualising Your Outcome
When you program your unconscious mind properly it does most of the work, but you can give it some help.
This is where physical prompts like lists, posters, vision boards, and white boards come in. My computer desktop, iPad, and phone usually contain visual prompts to keep my primary goals top of mind. That way, every time I open a device it focuses my intentions both consciously and unconsciously on the goals I’m working towards rather than distracting me.
Here's a Quick Exercise...
Do you have a clear visualisation of what you want to accomplish today and this week? Here’s how to harness the power of your unconscious mind to achieve it more easily.
- First set a goal for this week: maybe the next stage of a big project;
- Shut your eyes and visualise that project or stage completed – what’s the last step that when completed you know you can check it off? Get a really clear picture of that final step.
- Now break that into smaller tasks or milestones. They will be among the smaller tasks you will do each day.
- Now let’s get back to today: think of your very next task;
- Shut your eyes and visualise that task completed – what’s the last step that when completed you know you can check it off? Get a really clear picture.
- Now open your eyes and get to work. Pay attention to how your focus changes and how many more things you actually complete.
You Are Much More Than You Think You Are…
but maybe you’re choosing to live as though you were even less!
Our words shape our beliefs, and our beliefs affect our behaviours. If you believe that you are:
- ‘Just a mum’
- ‘Not good with money’
- ‘Bad at communicating your desires’
- ‘No good at selling’
- ‘Unable to sustain a successful relationship’
- ‘Just another…’ [accountant, photographer, business coach, web developer, surgeon…]
… then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in terms of how you see yourself, and how you project yourself to others. The words you use to describe yourself reinforce that projection every time you speak them.
It’s a chicken and egg relationship. Your beliefs affect your outcomes and your outcomes influence your beliefs and you can either let yourself get trapped in that cycle or you can choose to step out of the cycle and evolve into your best self.
Defining Who and What You Aspire to be
You are in the process of becoming what you aspire to be and that raises two questions:
- Are your aspirations challenging you to be, do, and have more than you currently are? and
- Is there more that you could aspire to?
This is not about creating discontent and dissatisfaction with your life per se. It’s about challenging yourself to lift your vision and live into your potential rather than being trapped by your current circumstances and beliefs. It’s about the reality that whatever you think you are in this moment, you are more than that.
You’ve heard the stories about the amazing feats of endurance, strength, and heroism people perform in moments of urgency. These are all feats that they would never have imagined themselves capable of, but which emerged under pressure. Equally inspiring are the parents and carers who watch the suffering of a child and tirelessly minister to their needs beyond the point of physical or emotional endurance. If asked in advance, most of them would say, “I could never do that.” Yet they do because in the moment they expand their image of themselves.
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to initiate this process of growth, you simply have to make the decision that you are ready to change. My mum demonstrated this possibility thinking once she realised how her language and beliefs were keeping her trapped in her reality.
She used to frame her defeat in words like, “I worked so hard, and look at what I’ve ended up with! I’m just no good with [whatever the specific area of defeat might be].”
Once she realised what she was doing to herself she changed both her words and her thinking to reflect the possibilities in her life.
You Are Much More Than You Think You Are!
Mum had shut off the idea that she could be good at numbers and make enough money to do more than pay the bills in primary school and, of course, money has to do with numbers. Every time she talked to herself she cemented the belief that she “just wasn’t good with numbers.” That belief system was cemented into her behaviour and overflowed into her business and finances.
Maybe for you it isn’t numbers and money, but I’d be willing to bet that you have some beliefs about yourself that are stopping you from taking the actions needed to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do. In my NLP Master Practitioner trainings we do an exercise based on the principle of “re-identification”. It’s a transformative exercise that helps students think about the:
- Words they use to describe themselves and their abilities,
- Way those words and phrases affect their actions and decisions,
- New words and phrases that describe the person they want to be.
All the students who fully engage in this process notice changes almost immediately in their choices and behaviours which positively affect their results.
If you’ve decided that you’re not good at something or that you have limitations that keep you from achieving your goals, then that decision becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. At the same time, when you change those beliefs you open up new opportunities and outcomes.
By opening yourself up to the possibility that you could do or be something and change the language you use around that possibility you can make choices that will turn that possibility into living truth. The biggest difference between the prosperous business owner (successful parent, author, speaker, athlete, …) and the wannabe is not talent or luck. It’s the choices they made along the way about how they behaved and who they were.
Act as if...
Take a moment to think about WHO you want to be, WHAT you want to have, and HOW you want to behave then CHOOSE the words you use to describe this, words that focus on your aspirations, so that you are open to new possibilities.
My Mum worked hard to change the language she used from the constraint-focus of: “I’ll never be…” to the possibility-focused “I’m in the process of becoming…” or “I’m stepping into…” Using this principle, she would ‘act as if’ she were already the person she wanted to become.
The words you use when you speak to yourself matter as much as, or even more than, the words you use when you speak to other people because you spend much more time speaking to yourself than you do to others. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) acknowledges the reality of the connection between the wiring of our brain and the language that shapes that wiring.
No matter who you think you are, you are far more than you think… so let the words you use to describe the person you are reflect the truth that you are constantly becoming more and opening up new horizons of being and doing.
#TuesdayTips
What if this were the last year of your life – if you knew that on December 31st 2019 your life would end…
- What would you want to look back on?
- What would you do differently?
- What would you want to accomplish in the next 12 months?
- Who would you want to spend time with?
- How do you want to feel?
I believe that S.M.A.R.T. Goals are really important, but sometimes they feel a bit clinical. So I think the ‘Live As Though This Was The Last Year of Your Life’ idea adds a whole new sense of urgency to the goal-setting process, although some people find it very confronting.
There are a lot of posts about ‘legacy work’ and the idea of thinking ahead to what you want people to say at your funeral which I think help put this life into perspective, but they can also be hard to get your head around, so I came up with this idea of setting 12 month goals, using the:
- S.M.A.R.T. Framework;
- Where You Are Today as a Starting Point; and
- 31st of December as an End Point.
This has nothing to do with fighting illness, or anticipating death, and everything to do with creating an ambitiously realistic plan for next year.
If you start today, you have more than a month to get your goals down on paper before the end of this year, so you can have them staring you in the face on January 1st and every day that follows.
Start by thinking about the various aspects of your life:
- Mental;
- Physical;
- Spiritual;
- Career;
- Social;
- Financial;
- Family;
For each area of your life think of the single outcome you most desire – something that can be achieved in just 12 months if you focus on it.
Now write it as a S.M.A.R.T. Goal –
- Specific – clearly stated in precise terms
- Measurable – you can tell if you have achieved it or not
- Achievable – it is possible
- Realistic – not only is it possible, it is possible for you given your circumstances
- Timely – there is a date attached to it – 31st December 2019.
New Year is the time when I like to look at the totality of my life for the year to come and set a single goal in each area. Once I have the big picture I’ll look at milestones and actions for each.
Just because you are setting a 12 month goal doesn’t mean that your goal will be small – it just means that it won’t involve going from 0 to a Nobel Prize in one year. On the other hand, 365 days to overnight success is quite achievable … if you work hard and focus on taking appropriate actions.
What’s the Point?
The point is that if you aim at nothing you’ll hit it … every single time!
If you want your life to count … if you don’t want to come to the end of your days and say, ‘Is this all there was and all I did?’ then you need to set some goals. It doesn’t matter whether your 12 month goal is to get married, make a million dollars, build a log cabin, or stop the whaling industry: if you only had these 12 months to live, what would you do to bring your goal closer to realisation?
Once you’ve set your goals in each of these areas you need to actively visualise them and plant them in your timeline. I talked about this in “Taking S.M.A.R.T. Goals One Step Further” and in my Confident Closing Workshops we demonstrate how to plant these goals in your timeline so that your unconscious mind guides you very powerfully in the direction you have chosen. If you haven’t heard of this before you can sign up for our next Confident Closing Workshop which will be held in January.
This is a truly powerful process because it takes the burden off your will. You are still responsible for your daily actions, but your unconscious mind helps you get there once you have told it where it is going.
Why not make 2019 the year you make deliberate progress in your chosen direction by living as though it were the last year of your life?
Meta Description: Make your life count. Make your S.M.A.R.T. Goals even smarter by adding urgency and sensory power to them and make a difference in the world this year.
Book your complimentary 30-minute Discovery Session with Chandell.
By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales
#TuesdayTips
Your unconscious mind is very powerful and you can use it help you achieve your goals if you follow a few simple steps. Let’s start by looking at some of the key functions of your unconscious mind.
9 Key Functions of Your Unconscious Mind
- Controls Your Body’s Core Functions (breathing, blinking, swallowing, etc)
- Controls Your Fight or Flight Response to Danger
- Only Processes Positive Commands
- Follows Clear Orders (that’s why visualisation is so powerful)
- Judges Your Thoughts, Words & Actions According to Your Values (conscience)
- Stores Memories;
- Organises Memories;
- Represses Memories associated with unresolved negative emotions;
- Presents Repressed Memories for Resolution;
Your unconscious mind is responsible for all your behaviour, all your learning, and all the information that goes into your brain – it is the control centre of your entire body. If your unconscious mind is not doing it’s job your life suddenly gets much harder – you have to think about how to balance yourself, you have to consciously decide how many times your heart will beat in a minute, and pay attention to how often you need to breath in and out to be comfortable and to blink to keep your eyes lubricated.
All of this would take a lot of effort and you would be so busy making all these decisions moment by moment that you wouldn’t have any energy to spare for higher-level thinking, but your unconscious takes care of it for you and it ‘just happens!
Harnessing The Power of Your Unconscious Mind To Achieve Goals
Imagine what would happen if we could harness the power of our unconscious mind to achieve our goals, instead of just take care of core functions. If you thought about the 9 key functions above, you might notice that numbers 3, 4, and 5 all deal with things we can influence if we choose.
Positive Commands and Clear Orders
We can give our unconscious minds positive commands – for example, “Earn $10,000 per month.” “Weigh 60kg”. These are much more powerful and effective than, “Lose weight.” or “Don’t be poor.” or “Eat less.” This is also why visualisation is such a powerful tool – your unconscious mind takes the picture you feed it of an end result, and helps you turn it into reality. It receives these pictures as a clear command of something you want to be true.
The Importance of Congruity
Because your unconscious mind is a clear and impartial judge it is really important that your thoughts, words, and actions are congruent with your values. Money is often a key area where our desires and values collide because we often have a conflict between what we would like to earn or own, and what we believe we deserve. If you set a goal about your wealth that your conscience tells you is wrong, then you will probably not achieve it. Success in business is another common area of conflict because we are constantly bombarded with stereotypes about ‘evil’ business men.
If we deal with these conflicts and uncover the unconscious beliefs that conflict with our goals our unconscious mind will guide us almost without effort until we achieve those goals. Instead of pulling us away from behaviour that supports our goals it will guide us toward it, so that we are no longer having to discipline ourselves every moment, but rather are willingly taking the necessary actions.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of how your brain processes language and pictures and controls your behaviour, I have found that the insights NLP provides into my unconscious mind has dramatically increased my power to achieve the things I really want in life – from material goods, and opportunities to relationships.
***
We all have an unconscious mind, and it is a very powerful tool, but most of us let it go to waste. You can harness your unconscious mind and use it to help you achieve your dreams.
By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales
“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.” – Jim Rohn
#TuesdayTips
Do you know that it is the unconscious mind that generates habits? Want to find out the ways to train it to install habits that can make you successful in life?
First, you got to build rapport with your unconscious mind. This is because there exists a disassociation between the conscious and the unconscious mind. Treat it kindly like you do a five-year-old child.
Second, know what you want. You have to give your unconscious mind directions for it to follow you (conscious mind).
Your directions have to be clear and specific and must be something positive. The unconscious mind does not process negatives. An example can be: I want to save a thousand dollars every month starting January 2017.
Then, focus on what you want. Be aware of what you want. Have external reminders of your goal in your bedroom and work area. This will train your mind to see instances everyday where you can meet your goal. It could be in a store as you are shopping for a gift for a friend. Your unconscious mind may tell you in a feeling that that reasonably-priced jacket is perfect for your friend instead of a much rather expensive one.
These feelings would be so subtle; you wouldn’t know it to be your unconscious talking to you. And they would point out other areas in your life where you can manifest your goal. It could be by an increased awareness for other income generating activities that come your way.
As you go through your life installing habits of success like saving and investing, your unconscious mind may become your best friend. It will support you to meet your goals and it will attract people and events that are in the direction/congruent with your dominant thoughts. Your dominant thoughts being your unconscious mind geared towards success.
Know more about your unconscious mind and how you can harness its powers in our NLP Training. Look up dates in this website and reserve your slot now.
By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales
A few years ago I did some research into ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and how effective they really are. Most statistics show that roughly 70% of people will have abandoned their ‘resolutions’ by 15th January and what I found was that most of the population think of New Year’s resolutions as something that you need to ‘try’ really hard at.
In considering my research, I realised that many struggling to make those ‘resolutions’ a reality are sabotaging themselves by doing one or more of the following…
- They wait til January – I believe that change and development is a process of constant evolution. Waiting until December or January to decide that we will become better versions of ourselves seems like a waste of the rest of the year! Please don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a big picture plan to know where you’re going, and the milestones, month to month, week to week tracking/review is what really allows you to see your progress.
- Their definition is flawed – “Resolution” loosely defined is to find an answer to something. That doesn’t mean that we have taken action on it. For example: You know that the answer to having more energy is to shed a few kilos BUT that doesn’t mean that you have committed to eat well, exercise consistently and actually take action on the solution, right? A big part of achieving change is your commitment to take action on a decision/answer. People who succeed in their goals make a plan and then take action!
- Their Frame of Mind is not supporting their outcome – Most resolutions start off on the wrong foot with negative language or lack of something. For example: “I’m going to give up…” “I will quit….” “I want to lose…” This mentality focuses on the thing that you don’t want (Remember: your unconscious mind cannot process negatives so it just draws more attention to the thing you want to have and that you’re denying yourself). This lack mentality, creates negative emotions of ‘fear/anxiety’ that you won’t succeed or guilt when you don’t stick to your plan.
- They’re not clear on what it is they actually want: “I want to be happy this year”, “I want to have more money this year” – these sound great but what do they really mean? Happiness could be a moment with your kids/partner – that would be achieved then wouldn’t it? You could bank an extra $1 than you did last year – that would be achieved wouldn’t it? NO?! That’s right, because you meant something different. How would you know if you got it, specifically?
So here’s a few things to do to make 2016 the year that you get stuff done, a year that you can look back and say “I achieved…”
- Set Commitments – Rather than resolutions, set yourself up with some commitments. This carries more weight and becomes a promise. Make a plan, take action on your commitment and make it consistent.
- Know what you want and move toward it – The S.M.A.R.T. Principles are great for get Specific on what you want and if your ‘itty bitty s%^&y committee’ is sitting on your shoulder saying you can’t have it, then you will most like lose motivation.
Use this FREE tool to Boost Your Confidence it’s our gift to you. - Set Milestones and rewards – Most people make the goal so BIG that they overwhelm themselves before the start. Set an end goal, then work backwards to create milestones that you can check in on to make sure you’re on track.
- Make it physical/action/outcome – I see many people focus on a goal that is not measurable, they know that they want it but there’s no action to support the attainment. STOP, DO, and you will have. Take action! Whether it’s picking up the phone to connect with someone, getting out of bed 30 minutes earlier for a walk or simply blocking out some time in your diary to do some meditation… the key here is to DO not think about Doing.
- Change your language – The relationship you have with yourself is an important one. Instead of using language like: “I’m giving up…” see how you feel about: “I’m choosing to be/do/have…” It’s much more empowering as it communicates the goal in a better way to your unconscious mind.
In 10 years of coaching at Life Puzzle I have seen many people spend a lot of time dreaming about how the year will be different and yet they are still ‘trying’ to achieve the same outcomes when you talk to them again at the next turn of the calendar year. So please, Instead of ‘trying’ just start ‘doing’ and if you need a little help you may wish to join us at Quest 4 Your Best.
Make those Commitments your Reality and until next time,
Be well and Be Empowered!
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