Communication Archives | Page 11 of 11

#TuesdayTips

We all have patterns of communication that are shaped by our experience, our upbringing, and our personality. Sometimes we make excuses for ourselves: “That’s just the way I am.” “It always comes out like that.” “If people want to get upset, that’s their problem.” Sometimes we worry about the number of broken relationships that are strewn behind us, but mostly we just shrug and move on.

The reality is that you can change the way you communicate – or at least broaden your skills, and as a result you will find more satisfaction in your relationships (both business and social), and a smoother path to your goals.

Can YOU Communicate Well With EVERYONE You Meet?

When I was in my teens, I was bullied. It was so traumatic that my parents moved me to a new school. From that time onward my perception about women, and my communications with them were pretty messed up and my ability to understand and communicate with them was fairly limited. I boxed myself into a certain way of talking to them – if it worked out well, then we got on with each other, if they had a different style of communication it didn’t.

As I said to myself, “There are plenty of men around to work with, and enough women whom I do get on with, so who cares?” and I was really OK with that attitude most of the time. As I matured I realised that it wasn’t just women I had difficulty communicating with – there were certain men as well, but that was OK because I knew lots of other people had the same sort of issues.

It still wasn’t a real problem, because I did just fine with most people, and could cobble things together, but one day I had a client who was a real challenge. I had this fantastic sponsorship opportunity handed to me through this woman’s boss and it was great, except that I had to work with Cynthia – and we just did not get on. We finished the project and it was a success, but working with Cynthia was an incredibly stressful experience for me – and for her, I imagine.

It was then I started to realise how important communication was if I wanted to make my life easy and fun, and I started to look for tools to make communication easier.

Resourceful Communication Leads to Positive Relationships

Do You Want to Make Your Life Easier and More Fun? Most people I know do, and it sounds good to me! As I mentioned above, for a long time I thought I was an ‘OK’ communicator (which I was), and that that was the best I could expect – but then I stumbled across Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Apart from being fascinated by the neurology side of things, and the processes that changed my thinking and my life, I was also excited by the possibilities for expanding my communication toolkit.

I realised that I (and most of my friends, family, and colleagues) were singularly unresourceful when it came to communicating with people who were not like us. However, I also discovered that there was something I could do about it.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches a variety of techniques to help you communicate better. Many of them are just common sense, and great communicators through the ages have used them to win agreement and sway crowds, as well as to smooth the path of their private interactions. The problem is, they’re not commonly taught and most of the world doesn’t learn how to communicate effectively to a variety of people.

Imagine Your Life Without Misunderstanding!

Play a game with me for a minute. What would happen if you could pick the perfect way to speak and interact with everyone you met, so that they would immediately feel attracted to you, and desire to please you? Would that make life easier when you checked in at the airport? When you talked to the car sales man? When you disagreed with a colleague? When you were meeting with a client or prospect?

I know it makes an enormous difference when I make the effort to develop rapport using the tools Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) provides. When I am able to manage my communications so that the other person really hears my words no matter how different we are then life becomes much easier. When I can sift through the words they speak, and hear what another person is really saying, then suddenly a lot of misunderstandings simply vanish – both in business and in your personal life.

We Are ResourceFUL When We Have Resources

What communication resources do you have at your disposal? Many people have only one style of communication, and sometimes you’ll hear them say, “That’s just me. I can’t help it if others get upset.” Look, I get that. But what if expanding your communication repertoire builds your circle of friends, or your work opportunities … You’d be willing to flex a little bit, wouldn’t you?

Here are just a few of the resources you can use to expand your repertoire: –

Observation – could you make the other person comfortable by varying your speed and style of delivery?
Eye Patterns – are you using the right metaphors and language to appeal to this person?
Language – are you appealing to their preferred internal representation system?
Mannerisms – could you attract their attention by using bigger gestures, or smaller ones?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches all of these and more. We cover them at one level in our 2-day Confident Closing Workshop, and our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner Trainings delve deeper into them, equipping you to communicate successfully with individuals and groups in any context.

The primary reason for building your communication repertoire is simply that it will make your life smoother and more fun if you don’t keep coming up against prickly personalities who drive you crazy – you’ll still meet them, but you’ll be able to deal with them productively and pleasantly.

Meta Description: How often do you sabotage a relationship because you are intent on doing things ‘your way’ or not at all? Being resourceful in the way you communicate with others can change your life.

Book your complimentary 30-minute Discovery Session with Chandell.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

Do you sometimes feel under-valued? Do you sometimes feel that people would buy your product or service if they only realised what it could do for them? Many people do. I used to feel that way all the time (sometimes I still do, but I know the problem lies with me), and I frequently talk to friends and clients who feel that way.

The easiest way to find out whether other people are hearing and understanding what you say is to listen to their response. At networking meetings, people will often say to me, “Most people don’t value my work for what it is worth.” The reality is that they have not managed to communicate the value of their work to others. It’s a pretty natural response when we don’t get the interest and buy-in we’re expecting, but the truth is that there is something you can do about it – and that something is to take responsibility for the response you get.

The Meaning Of The Communication Is The Response You Get

I’d like to illustrate this with a true story about Sally, a client of mine who was having trouble relating to her co-workers. One day she walked into my office and said, “I’m so over my boss, he is impossibly inconsiderate!” After a series of questions to uncover what the heart of the issue was for Sally, I learned that she had been in a meeting with her boss and had stated, “It’s a little bit draughty in here, isn’t it?” and then got very hurt and angry when her boss didn’t offer her a glass of water.

Somehow, when Sally had said, “It’s a little bit draughty in here, isn’t it?” she had expected her boss to understand that she was thirsty and needed a drink.

Now before you say to yourself, “Well, clearly Sally has a problem!” I’d like you ask yourself if you’ve ever made an indirect request hoping that your friend, partner, or colleague would understand that you are asking for help. You know what’s really interesting? This is how we communicate every day. You hear people saying, “I told her, she has to know – she has to know that I’m upset with her!”

“What did you say?” you’ll ask, and they respond, “Oh she just knows, I’m sure of it.”

“Don’t be!”

The real meaning of the communication is the response you get. If her boss doesn’t get Sally a glass of water then she can’t have made it clear that she wanted a glass of water. If your significant other doesn’t change their behaviour, you probably didn’t tell them clearly what the problem was and what response you were looking for.

If it happens once, the problem might be the other person – if it’s happening often then it’s probably time to take a good look at how clearly you communicate.

How Does This Apply to Sales?

In a sales context, that translates to, “If someone doesn’t want to pay your fee then YOU didn’t make it clear enough how valuable your services are to them.”

Now whose fault is it if the client doesn’t perceive the value of your service? Is it the client’s fault or is it your fault?

Many people don’t like to take that sort of responsibility on themselves. If you are taking charge of your own life and living at cause rather than at effect … if you’re empowered to influence others, then you should be willing to realise that you haven’t communicated in the most effective way that matches the needs of the person you’re talking to.

If you feel that prospects who are a great fit for your services aren’t taking you seriously then look at the value proposition you are sharing with them, the words you are choosing, and the mindset that backs up everything you say.

Meta Description: Do you ever complain that people don’t understand or appreciate your product or service as much as they should? NLP teaches that the meaning of your communication is the response you get and you can change the response by changing your flexibility.

Book your FREE Deep Dive Discovery Session here and move forward in your life and business, now.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

You probably know that not everyone shares your opinions about things, but have you ever thought just how often you make assumptions that lead to misunderstanding?

I’m convinced that most of our communication and relationship problems stem from the assumptions we carelessly make. Once a friend from Portugal came to stay with me. She was visiting Melbourne for a few days as part of her tour around Australia and she wanted to see the sights. So I planned to take her along the Great Ocean Road, into the Dandenongs, and the Mornington Peninsula up to Arthur’s Seat and see all the wonderful beaches and views because those are all the things I love!

My thought was, “What can I show her that’s really beautiful and uniquely Melbourne?” and I assumed that she would want to see and do the things I would like, if I were in her position. I was so busy making a program that fit my own assumptions about Melbourne that I completely missed the clues she gave me. In conversations before her visit, she talked about the shows she saw when she was in London and how much she loved the theatre and the arts. She even mentioned an Art exhibition that was going on at the National Gallery and all that sort of stuff but I missed it completely. So we started doing the things I had planned and she was miserable the whole time and I’m thinking, “How come she’s not enjoying herself? This is awful.”

The next day she asked, “How do I get to the trains and the public transport?”

I said, “Where do you want to go? I’ll take you.”

And she says, “I really want to go to National Art Gallery and see an exhibition that’s on there at the moment” and it occurred to me that I’d just totally missed all the cues of the things that she wanted to do, I was so excited about bringing her and showing her all these things that I thought were really cool that I forgot to find out what interested her.

I see sales people and business owners all the time who are so concerned that they won’t say the right thing, that they miss all the cues.

They assume that people aren’t biting on the bait they’re putting out there because they’re not getting the words right. In a lot of cases they’re so caught up on what they’re going to say next or what they’re going to do next that they don’t actually hear the buying signs from the clients.

Most people actually tell you what they need if you’re listening carefully enough. Sometimes I do role-plays with my clients where I actually get them to sell to me and it’s really interesting watching them just make assumptions about what my needs could be rather than actually spending some time asking some questions.

This comes back to the part of the sales process we are actually finding out information from the clients. So the first thing that people who are not necessarily well versed in sales do is they go in and they’ve prepared all the things that they’re going to say to make sure that that client gets interested in what they want them to be interested in. In actual fact the best thing you can do when you go into a sales meeting is to ask some questions and then shut up and listen.

Then you listen some more – and if you open your mouth at all, it’s to ask questions about the things they are saying. If you do that, I can just about guarantee that you will learn what you need to know to close the sale. You would really be astounded to learn how many sales are lost just because we make assumptions about what the other person is looking for.

One of the most powerful tools of NLP is learning to ask questions and read the other person – not to manipulate them, but to hear what their problems and concerns really are. The techniques I learned have closed more sales, and resolved more communication issues than I can count.

Meta Description: How do assumptions kill sales and negotiations? Let me count the ways. Assuming you know what the other person is going to say is a very dangerous habit, and will kill sales faster than just about any other thing you can do.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the word don’t is something that we encourage our clients to change in their language. It is based on the belief that the unconscious mind does not process negative statements.

This concept was explained many times by NLP Trainers through this example: Don’t think of a blue tree. I bet you, an image of a blue tree went through your mind after reading this. Even if you didn’t think of a blue tree you needed to create a blue tree first to negate the purple or green one you did think of.

In this example, you just used words (blue, tree) that made your listener create an image in his/her mind. You made that suggestion and he/she just can’t not think of a blue tree.

This concept is so important in communication of all kinds. In parenting imagine if you told you children to stop safely at the crossing instead of telling them not to cross. In business if you told your staff to be 10mins early for the meeting instead of telling the not to be late. In a relationship telling your partner that you love their commitment instead of them not to cheat on you or break your heart.

The key is to go straight to what you want your listener to think and do in an affirmative manner, focusing on what you want them to DO.

Rephrase your statements and use a positive tone. Like for example, instead of saying, “Don’t eat too much during the holidays!” say, “Limit what you eat during the holidays.” Sounds better, right?

Observe what happens if you follow this friendly tip you might just get people congruent and happy to give you what you ask for.

Learn more concepts in NLP by registering in our next NLP Practitioner Training. Visit the Events page of this website.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

Your resolve and the words you choose will give you what you want.

#TuesdayTips

“I’ll do it!” are probably the most powerful words you can speak. It means you will use all your resources at your disposal to attain a particular end. It declares a complete mastery of self. These words turn dreams to reality. They translate to ENERGY.

They are the exact opposite of saying, “I can’t.” In saying these words, you lose power — you give away your power. It declares a helpless state. It manifests your un-resourceful state.

In Life Puzzle, we believe that there are no un-resourceful people only un-resourceful states. We use the power of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) so you can outgrow your un-resourceful state and be ‘at cause’ or in charge of your success. And not ‘at effect’, or be acted upon and on the powerless/helpless position, making excuses and blaming other people.

Language codes the way the brain responds to stimuli. It limits or sets boundaries to reality or the external environment. Because it filters what goes inside your mind from the billions of bits of information in the external environment.

So if your mind codes your response to stimuli in language, changing your language can recode it. Makes a lot of sense does it? You can then manifest new and better behaviours.

Then keep saying, “I’ll do it!” and “I can!”.

There will probably be no limit to what you can do.

By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales

#TuesdayTips

Can YOU Communicate Well With EVERYONE You Meet?

Resourceful Communication Leads to Positive Relationships

Imagine Your Life Without Misunderstanding!

We Are ResourceFUL When We Have Resources

#TuesdayTips

The Meaning Of The Communication Is The Response You Get

How Does This Apply to Sales?

#TuesdayTips

#TuesdayTips

#TuesdayTips

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