It’s not about technique!
When YOU set goals, what happens?
If you said, “Not much,” you’re in good company and you probably don’t think goals have played much of a role in your success.
I’m not going to talk about the process of setting goals here, instead I’m going to talk about how you can use your unconscious mind to keep you on track and help you achieve your goals. more easily and effectively
I talk to a lot of people who say, “Goal setting doesn’t work for me, Chandell, but I still get plenty done.” Usually, that’s true, but then when we start to talk it’s clear that while they may not have followed a formal goal-setting process, the ones who are kicking goals and shaping their lives have a vision of how they want things to be, and have made significant decisions about what they want to be, do, or have and then set out to act in ways that would lead to that outcome. That’s goal setting!
But here’s the thing… Like most outcomes there are faster and slower ways of getting from A to B. I always like to find the fastest, best, and easiest way to achieve my outcomes and what follows is an outline of a goal-setting method that ticks all those boxes for myself and my clients.
What is Goal Setting?
Goal setting is all about deciding what you want, why you want it, and what achieving that thing will do for you. Whether you do this process formally or informally it is behind all your accomplishments.
When you decide that you do (or do not) want something, your unconscious mind sets to work behind the scenes to turn that decision into a self-fulfilling prophecy and the clearer and stronger your vision of the outcome is, the more effectively your unconscious mind can do this.
Goal Getting
Once you’ve set your goals … and yes, choosing not to achieve anything is also a goal … your conscious mind sets to work to make those goals come to fruition.
Have you noticed how much less distractible you are when you have an important or appealing project to work on? You may not have written down all the steps you need to take, but your mind is creating momentum without any overt effort on your part. You might wake up in the morning with a new idea, or find that it comes to you while you’re taking a walk, then, when you sit down to work on it everything falls into place.
That’s because your unconscious mind is propelling you towards that goal. Thus, even when your conscious mind is toying with the idea of watching TV or playing another level of your favourite video game your unconscious mind keeps offering you the choice to act differently.
One of the things that often stops people from reaching their goals is the amount of willpower and deliberate effort it takes to stay focused. When you harness your unconscious mind and give it clear instructions about what you are trying to achieve then you take that pressure off your conscious mind. This frees up your energy to actually do the work required to reach that goal, so it’s a really powerful tool for achieving goals.
The Importance of Visualising Your Outcome
If you really can’t visualise yourself achieving your goal, then you probably should ask whether you can achieve it. The clear picture mental of yourself achieving your goal gives your unconscious mind all the momentum it needs to carry you forward to success.
In my experience, people who can’t get a clear picture of themselves achieving the goal often have unconscious reservations about their ability to do so. That’s important information, because once you realise what is happening inside your head, you can change your beliefs and your behaviours.
“That which was unconscious, when made conscious ceases to exist.”
Carl Jung
The limiting beliefs and negative emotions that hinder our goal-setting can only be removed when we become aware of them. Often they are hidden beneath years of habit and thinking patterns that are so engrained that we don’t even notice the little voice that pops up and says…”Ooh, you’re not good at that!” or, “That’s risky!” or… “If you do that, you’ll lose the love of your life!” But, we hear it… and it rules our behaviour without our noticing.
However, you have a choice…
Once you’ve given your unconscious mind a vivid picture of where you want to be, you can work through the milestones you need to achieve those goals and your unconscious mind will support you through all the decisions and action you need to make along the way instead of sabotaging your intentions by tempting you to indulge in “just one more episode of “Big Bang Theory”.
When I was writing my book, “Confident Closing: sales secrets that grew a business by 400% in six month and how they can work for you,” my final goal was to hold that book in my hand and be able to say, “I’ve done it!” Early in the process I created a mock-up of the cover so that I could focus my unconscious mind on what the finished product would look like. Although many things change in the process (including the cover and title) while I was writing it I had a picture in my mind of me holding the finished book.
Along the way there were many milestones:-
- Write the book;
- Edit the book;
- Design the cover, illustrations, & internal layout;
- Organise printing, ISBN, etc.
At every stage, I had a clear picture in my mind, and I was feeding that in the background to my unconscious mind so that I stayed focused and kept moving forward. I still had to make decisions, and put in the effort, but my unconscious mind kept prodding me into action.
The Importance of Visualising Your Outcome
When you program your unconscious mind properly it does most of the work, but you can give it some help.
This is where physical prompts like lists, posters, vision boards, and white boards come in. My computer desktop, iPad, and phone usually contain visual prompts to keep my primary goals top of mind. That way, every time I open a device it focuses my intentions both consciously and unconsciously on the goals I’m working towards rather than distracting me.
Here's a Quick Exercise...
Do you have a clear visualisation of what you want to accomplish today and this week? Here’s how to harness the power of your unconscious mind to achieve it more easily.
- First set a goal for this week: maybe the next stage of a big project;
- Shut your eyes and visualise that project or stage completed – what’s the last step that when completed you know you can check it off? Get a really clear picture of that final step.
- Now break that into smaller tasks or milestones. They will be among the smaller tasks you will do each day.
- Now let’s get back to today: think of your very next task;
- Shut your eyes and visualise that task completed – what’s the last step that when completed you know you can check it off? Get a really clear picture.
- Now open your eyes and get to work. Pay attention to how your focus changes and how many more things you actually complete.
STOP selling on your terms. START selling on theirs.
Stacey was talking about her ‘failure’ to land a client…
“I must be charging too much or else I said something to turn him away. I thought Jon was ready to sign the contract, but it’s been three days and he hasn’t contacted me yet.
“Wait a minute, Stacey. You can’t just assume that things have fallen through like that. There are lots of reasons why he might not have got back to you. Have you tried calling him?
“No.” Stacey’s voice was glum. “This is what happens all the time. I think prospects are excited to work with me, but then they disappear.”
Stacey was making a common assumption that was killing her results… and her enthusiasm. Maybe you have caught yourself thinking the same thing:
She assumed that her prospects were as preoccupied with this one problem and its solution as she was.
What is Goal Setting?
The truth is that whatever problem you solve for clients is just one aspect of their business. They are busy fulfilling their responsibilities and solving a range of problems so even if the problem you solve is urgent, it’s not the only thing they are thinking about.
How to Handle This Reality and Make Everyone Happy…
- Follow up consistently. If necessary use more than one mode of communication. Your desire not to be a pest may be holding both you and your prospect back from achieving your desired outcomes. Presumably you have already had a conversation during which your prospect demonstrated their need of a solution and you explained your expertise in that area. Therefore, you already have a clear invitation to be involved. Don’t back away until they tell you to do so. Silence does not equal rejection.
- Ask questions and discover exactly what your prospect needs to make a decision. The chances are that their decision making strategy is different from your own and it’s your job to discover what it is and tailor your communication to meet their style.
These two simple techniques can transform your business results because suddenly you discover that the problem was never your solution or your price, it was ‘just’ a communication problem.
The Importance of Communication in Business… Not Just in Sales
I coach a lot of management and project teams, as well as sales teams because effective internal and external communication lies at the heart of business success… and is responsible for many failures as well.
Here are some of the key elements required for successful communication:
- Understanding your own preferred communication styles and strategies;
- Identify others’ preferred communication styles and strategies;
Effectively use a variety of communication styles and speak to different strategies;
Ask questions so you discover what people are really thinking rather than assume you know that;
When I asked Stacey how she responded when people seemed to ‘disappear’ and whether she followed them up and asked questions like ‘What do you still need to help you make a decision?’ Stacey’s expression said everything I needed to know.
She was judging her prospects by herself. Since she made decisions quickly after one discussion and hated saying ‘no’ she assumed that silence meant, “I’m definitely not interested but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Things might not have changed, but she was facing a real shortfall so she decided to call Jon and ask him if he was still interested in her proposal.
“You were right. He wasn’t trying to shut me off!” was Stacey’s text to me that afternoon.
Communication is just as important in teams… and it’s even more important to know what it takes to get your team members on board since you’ll probably be working on many new ideas and projects over time.
Maybe you only need to hear an idea once before you evaluate it and make a decision, but Sally needs to hear it at least three times… and Jim will need to be reassured constantly that it’s the right move. Once you understand the dynamics you’re dealing with you can build your communication around them and you’ll find it easier to get the support and resources you need.
Communication Makes Good Things Happen
You won’t win every deal, and you won’t get support for every idea, but if you know how to identify other people’s communication styles and strategies, ask good questions that enable others to express their opinions and needs, and have a variety of tools to help you communicate effectively you’ll soon discover that more exciting things happen around you than ever before.
…why perfection is the enemy of progress.
Are you in the middle of a project that seems to keep expanding and growing no matter how much time you spend on it?
I always used to get stuck with this kind of mentality. It stopped me from:
- Attending events because I didn’t have all the materials I might need;
- Following up on networking opportunities and contacts;
- Finishing my brochures, book, and other resources;
- Publishing programs and courses that would help others;
- Updating my website… etc.
I lost count of the opportunities I missed because of my striving for perfection, which was often a fear of judgement.
Finally, one of my mentors took me aside and said,
“Chandell, how many more times are you going to let the boat sail without you? Your first draft is better than no draft and done is better than perfect.”
He then went through my list of projects I’d been working on for more than 2 months and asked me how close to finished they were.
My responses were honest but basically added up to: ‘almost ready to…’ or ‘just waiting for…’ or ‘I still need to…’ and then he called me on it: “What would it take to finish this?” By the end of the following week I had:
- Published my book;
- Launched a new website;
- Enrolled 80 people in 3 new programs;
- Finished my speakers’ kit and sent out copies to interested prospects;
- Followed up on 13 hot prospects and enrolled 11 in coaching programs;
- Doubled my monthly income;
Not only did I have a sense of accomplishment, the momentum and energy generated by all those finished projects was enormous.
Was I 100% happy with them all?
No, but I was overjoyed at the results of my actions and nobody complained about the quality. In fact, most of them were signing up for the next program and the one after that.
So, let me ask you… are you sick of looking at boats sailing without you?
When would NOW be a good time to…
- to… send your 1st draft to an editor/ reader;
- to… publish your website;
- to… follow up contacts even if you don’t have all your materials perfect;
- to… launch your challenge, program, course;
- to… reach out and ask about that speaking opportunity;
Decide TODAY that you’re going to sign off on that project and not wait any longer to perfect it because perfection is the enemy of progress.
“When would now be a good time?”
P.S. In the Profitable Business Accelerator Program we look more deeply into why you are seeking perfection and how to get things moving forward so you develop the habit of grasping opportunity rather than missing the boat. If your business isn’t delivering the results you’d like to see, maybe you’d like some support and motivation. Our last session for 2019 starts in September:
You Are Much More Than You Think You Are…
but maybe you’re choosing to live as though you were even less!
Our words shape our beliefs, and our beliefs affect our behaviours. If you believe that you are:
- ‘Just a mum’
- ‘Not good with money’
- ‘Bad at communicating your desires’
- ‘No good at selling’
- ‘Unable to sustain a successful relationship’
- ‘Just another…’ [accountant, photographer, business coach, web developer, surgeon…]
… then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in terms of how you see yourself, and how you project yourself to others. The words you use to describe yourself reinforce that projection every time you speak them.
It’s a chicken and egg relationship. Your beliefs affect your outcomes and your outcomes influence your beliefs and you can either let yourself get trapped in that cycle or you can choose to step out of the cycle and evolve into your best self.
Defining Who and What You Aspire to be
You are in the process of becoming what you aspire to be and that raises two questions:
- Are your aspirations challenging you to be, do, and have more than you currently are? and
- Is there more that you could aspire to?
This is not about creating discontent and dissatisfaction with your life per se. It’s about challenging yourself to lift your vision and live into your potential rather than being trapped by your current circumstances and beliefs. It’s about the reality that whatever you think you are in this moment, you are more than that.
You’ve heard the stories about the amazing feats of endurance, strength, and heroism people perform in moments of urgency. These are all feats that they would never have imagined themselves capable of, but which emerged under pressure. Equally inspiring are the parents and carers who watch the suffering of a child and tirelessly minister to their needs beyond the point of physical or emotional endurance. If asked in advance, most of them would say, “I could never do that.” Yet they do because in the moment they expand their image of themselves.
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to initiate this process of growth, you simply have to make the decision that you are ready to change. My mum demonstrated this possibility thinking once she realised how her language and beliefs were keeping her trapped in her reality.
She used to frame her defeat in words like, “I worked so hard, and look at what I’ve ended up with! I’m just no good with [whatever the specific area of defeat might be].”
Once she realised what she was doing to herself she changed both her words and her thinking to reflect the possibilities in her life.
You Are Much More Than You Think You Are!
Mum had shut off the idea that she could be good at numbers and make enough money to do more than pay the bills in primary school and, of course, money has to do with numbers. Every time she talked to herself she cemented the belief that she “just wasn’t good with numbers.” That belief system was cemented into her behaviour and overflowed into her business and finances.
Maybe for you it isn’t numbers and money, but I’d be willing to bet that you have some beliefs about yourself that are stopping you from taking the actions needed to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do. In my NLP Master Practitioner trainings we do an exercise based on the principle of “re-identification”. It’s a transformative exercise that helps students think about the:
- Words they use to describe themselves and their abilities,
- Way those words and phrases affect their actions and decisions,
- New words and phrases that describe the person they want to be.
All the students who fully engage in this process notice changes almost immediately in their choices and behaviours which positively affect their results.
If you’ve decided that you’re not good at something or that you have limitations that keep you from achieving your goals, then that decision becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. At the same time, when you change those beliefs you open up new opportunities and outcomes.
By opening yourself up to the possibility that you could do or be something and change the language you use around that possibility you can make choices that will turn that possibility into living truth. The biggest difference between the prosperous business owner (successful parent, author, speaker, athlete, …) and the wannabe is not talent or luck. It’s the choices they made along the way about how they behaved and who they were.
Act as if...
Take a moment to think about WHO you want to be, WHAT you want to have, and HOW you want to behave then CHOOSE the words you use to describe this, words that focus on your aspirations, so that you are open to new possibilities.
My Mum worked hard to change the language she used from the constraint-focus of: “I’ll never be…” to the possibility-focused “I’m in the process of becoming…” or “I’m stepping into…” Using this principle, she would ‘act as if’ she were already the person she wanted to become.
The words you use when you speak to yourself matter as much as, or even more than, the words you use when you speak to other people because you spend much more time speaking to yourself than you do to others. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) acknowledges the reality of the connection between the wiring of our brain and the language that shapes that wiring.
No matter who you think you are, you are far more than you think… so let the words you use to describe the person you are reflect the truth that you are constantly becoming more and opening up new horizons of being and doing.
... Because it is Hurting Your Business
Harry Potter found his invisibility cloak extremely useful… but you don’t want to wear yours.
An invisible business is in big trouble. So is a forgettable business.
So, how do you make yourself and your business memorable?
The answer:
You reach out and tweak the emotional response of your target audience… just about any emotional response will do: anger, fear, insecurity, laughter, happiness, irritation, nostalgia…
Memorability Beats Sophistication
Do you remember any of the marketing jingles you heard years ago?
Every time I clean the bathroom I think of the Spray ’n Wipe ad that starts, “The cleaning it was easy, even though things were real greasy…” I can still hear my Mum singing it… frequently with a few variations that had my brother and I rolling on the floor squealing with laughter… and the laughter still wells up in me, too.
Maybe you remember, “We’re happy little Vegemites…” or “You’ll live much more, with a roller door…” or one of the others. Unsophisticated… maybe. Annoying… perhaps. Effective… definitely.
I’m confident that if I played a few bars of the jingle, I could get you to sing along. Even if you skipped a few words the product would be clear in your mind. I won’t even bet on the outcome, because that would be stealing. I’ve tried it at events and it works every time.
Does Your Pitch Evoke That Response?
It should. And to create that response, you need to strike an emotional chord, and you need to repeat your message regularly… long after you are sick of hearing it.
A response… any response is better than blank stares.
Look, successful politicians have their haters as well as their fans because they stand for something recognisable.
You will know that you’re really onto something that stands out when you start getting hate-mail as well as fan mail.
So the question is… when you share your sales message do you get polite responses or do you get enthusiastic interest and questions?
It’s often not until you start to think about how you want to make your ideal clients feel and what you can do to evoke that feeling that you come up with a marketing message that is truly memorable… because it evokes emotion.
Lead Generation
If you want to close more sales, then your best tool is to have a USP and Elevator Pitch that creates an emotional response in your prospect. Hey, if they throw up when you point out their problem it means you’ve struck a nerve… and they probably won’t forget you in a hurry.
When you focus on the primary emotion your ideal prospects need to feel just before they buy and craft a pitch that evokes that, you’ll get more opportunities to have meaningful sales conversations and that means you’ll end up with more sales.
Maybe you want prospects to feel:-
- a sense of trust
- warm, secure, and comfortable
- challenged
- angry or frustrated
- confident
- or….
Does your current USP evoke this kind of reaction? If not test new variations on every prospect and customer until you find a USP that does. Existing customers like to feel an emotional response too. If you meet this need, you’ll keep them longer. They’re also more likely to refer you to others if they feel enthusiastic (or even angry about their problem) than if they just feel a dogged neutrality.
“We buy on emotion…. Then we use logic to justify our decisions (especially to our spouse or business associates.”
Ask yourself:
- If I heard my USP would I get excited about my offer?
- Would it evoke curiosity & enthusiasm?
If not, it’s time to revisit your USP this weekend and add some emotional zing. Keep working on it until even your family members are fascinated when you tell them what you do.
It’s one of the first things that we work on in the 13-week Profitable Business Accelerator because it can quickly transform your sales closing rate from 20% or less into 80% or higher and immediately affect your profits.
You can learn more and find out when the next program is starting here:
Transforming the Way You Think About What You Do
Have you ever made a comment in passing, only to have the other person jump on it with great enthusiasm as though the ordinary (to you) item you mentioned was a ground-breaking insight?
I was talking to a client the other day and she was telling me her internal struggles with the idea of raising prices and how she’d fought against my advice to do so because she felt inadequate even though she often had people say how marvellous her work was and how it changed their life.
In her words:
“It wasn’t until I actually followed the strategy you laid out for me that I realised how much more impact I created when I charged higher prices in the context of everything else you helped me set up.
Suddenly my clients paid more attention and followed instructions better… so guess what? Their results multiplied and my business grew even faster!”
The trigger was my simple statement:
“For you, it’s second nature. For others, this is life-changing.”
Here’s the deal, when you don’t put yourself out there and share your expertise because you assume that people already know the information you have, you’re not merely depriving yourself of sales and opportunities, you’re preventing other people from moving ahead and solving their problems too… and that’s a serious problem!
You probably remember the old saying: “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”
It’s a dramatic way of stating that we’re all different and therefore, you should never underestimate the unique value you deliver to your clients.
At the same time, never underestimate the value that others can deliver to you and don’t just measure things in $ terms.
When you give yourself real credit for the value you deliver to clients there’s an almost magical transformation that takes place in yourself and your business. I’ve noticed that the week we work on this in my Profitable Business Accelerator is often the week that everybody reports a shift in their profits and other measures of success.
So ask yourself the question today:
“What is something that is second nature to me, that would deliver huge value to others who don’t know what I know?”
… if you can’t think of anything immediately, I can guarantee that you are shortchanging yourself and undermining your own confidence.
We Don't Give Ourselves Enough Credit
Often, the things that come easily to you are highly valued by your colleagues and clients. If you reflect on what specific things these are, you will feel motivated and appreciated and you will find that others will accept your ideas and proposals more easily.
Accelerate Your Sales Challenge
This week commit to spending at least 10 minutes before you start each workday making a list of all the things you can think of that add value to your clients. Review your list and keep adding to it each day.
… Tip: stick with it for a full 10 minutes (set a timer) even if you are sure there is nothing to add. The review will cement what you already know you are good at that adds value in your mind, and once your unconscious mind know that you are going to persist anyway it will offer more positive contributions.
... I'm guessing your answer is , "No!"
But if lobsters didn’t get so desperately uncomfortable that they were willing to take radical action, then you’d never get to eat an enormous, succulent lobster for dinner.
If only people were like lobsters...
and used our discomfort as a stimulus to move forward and grow.
Most people go to the doctor when they are uncomfortable (which is not necessarily a bad thing).
UNTIL… our mental, emotional, or physical discomfort which is designed to provide momentum and get us up, moving, and taking action is dulled into oblivion by food, alcohol, TV, parties, or whatever other numbing agent we choose.
If You’re Always Comfortable, You’re Not Growing
You see, lobsters have soft and mushy bodies that are protected by a rigid outer shell. It’s not until they get so uncomfortable trapped inside this rigid shell that they are ready to take a big risk. Then they:
- Hide under a rock,
- Break out of their shell-prison,
- Eat the shell that trapped them,
- Which provides the resources to grow a new, larger shell,
- Which they can expand into…
They don’t just do this once. They do it over and over again… and they are compelled to do it because they don’t have any drugs or medication to dull the pain of their confinement. If they didn’t do this, they would never grow large enough for us to eat.
Lobsters aren’t really the issue here, though.
You are!
Is Time the Real Culprit?
I often hear business owners complain about not having enough time and they’re looking for new tools techniques of time management when what they really need is to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable in the ‘shell’ that used to be so spacious and take some time to reflect.
I’ve noticed something else. There are two ways of coping with this discomfort:
- Step back from your busy-ness to reflect on why you feel so much pain and decide what to do next so you can keep growing and moving forward;
- Hide amongst your busy-ness and use that as an excuse to stay in your (increasingly uncomfortable comfort zone;
In other words, you can escape the discomfort and hide from it behind fancy toys, lavish vacations, a cluttered calendar, alcohol, exercise, medications, etc. Or you can face it head on and make decisions that will transform your life.
It’s not easy to take this kind of courageous step alone, that’s why I run various groups and courses to support people through their discomfort and keep them moving from one level of achievement to the next.
Are You Going to Cover your Discomfort... or Use it for Good?
I often hear business owners complain about not having enough time and they’re looking for new tools techniques of time management when what they really need is to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable in the ‘shell’ that used to be so spacious and take some time to reflect.
I’ve noticed something else. There are two ways of coping with this discomfort:
- Step back from your busy-ness to reflect on why you feel so much pain and decide what to do next so you can keep growing and moving forward;
- Hide amongst your busy-ness and use that as an excuse to stay in your (increasingly uncomfortable comfort zone;
In other words, you can escape the discomfort and hide from it behind fancy toys, lavish vacations, a cluttered calendar, alcohol, exercise, medications, etc. Or you can face it head on and make decisions that will transform your life.
It’s not easy to take this kind of courageous step alone, that’s why I run various groups and courses to support people through their discomfort and keep them moving from one level of achievement to the next.
I lost count of the number of times I heard my Mum and Grandma say,
“Everything has a place and if you put it there you will get more done.”
Most of the time, I was too busy to pay attention and follow their advice because I could always find what I needed.
Sometimes, I’d get so overwhelmed that I’d realise that the clutter was causing me to procrastinate… and not even do things I really enjoyed. About then I would sort things out, put things where they were most useful and ready-to-hand and suddenly find that my mind was clear and I was ready to take the next step.
The Life-
Changing Magic of Tidying Up
You’ve probably heard of Marie Kondo and “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, if not, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version:
- Pull everything out of your cupboards, drawers, etc
- Throw out everything you don’t need and love (if relevant acknowledge its past contribution to your life)
- Put the things you are keeping away where they belong and are easily accessible
- Feel instantly lighter and happier
That’s great stuff!
BUT…
She’s missed the key point: when you unclutter your STUFF, you are not only able to get more done, you are MOTIVATED to do it.
AND…
It works for tasks, emotions, responsibilities and many other areas of life as well!
"I just don't feel motivated to do..."
Last Monday, I walked into my office and felt instantly overwhelmed by all the things I had to do. In that moment my motivation plummetted to zero and I was ready to procrastinate… unproductively.
Realising that I was going to waste a lot of time and energy fighting for motivation, I decided to procrastinate productively and spend 30 minutes organising myself so I set a timer.
30 minutes later, my space was ready for action with essential items ordered and close at hand, lots of stuff in the bin and my mind was also ready for action.
That simple task of clearing, organising, removing, and setting aside things from my physical space also cleared my mental space and magically eliminated my overwhelm.
This strategy works best with items that are visible and can actually be completed, or at least completed to a definite degree. Your email inbox is a terrible place to start because no matter how effectively you clear it out, there is always new stuff filling it up.
This is also why it’s best to break your larger projects down into manageable pieces so that you can physically tick off the item.
#TuesdayTips
Understanding how people think isn’t just a good sales technique, it also is a great relationship-building skill that helps in all areas of your life!
I’ve already talked about how Internal Representation Systems (IRS) work and how identifying them can help you communicate better on many levels. This post is focused on identifying the vocabulary clues that reveal the preferred Internal Representation System of the person you are talking to.
One of the objections I often hear about developing rapport is that it is tricky to focus on your prospect’s argument while simultaneously trying to subtly match and mirror aspects of their behaviour, another is that it is impossible to do this when you are talking on the phone since you can’t see the person you are talking to. The exciting thing about using a person’s vocabulary to establish rapport is that it is relatively easy to pick up their preferred Internal Representation System and you can use it in every social situation (except possibly at a noisy party).
What Are the Major Internal Representation Systems?
Visual:
The Visual person focuses on visual predicates that reflect their visual perception of the world around them. You’ll hear visual words like:
- See;
- Look;
- Show;
- Reveal;
- Illuminate;
- Foggy;
- Imagine;
- Picture;
- View;
- Dawn;
Auditory:
The Auditory person focuses on the sounds of words, ideas, and proposals. They use words like:
- Hear;
- Listen;
- Tune in (or out);
- Ring a bell;
- Silence;
- Resonate;
- Question;
- Make music;
- Deaf;
- Sound;
Kinaesthetic:
The Kinaesthetic person is concerned about sensations and movement. Their vocabulary includes words like:
- Hard;
- Catch on;
- Tap into;
- Feel;
- Solid;
- Grasp;Touch;
- Throw out;
- Unfeeling;
- Make contact;
Auditory-Digital:
The Auditory-Digital person engages in a lot of self-talk and internal processing and the vocabulary they use reflects that internal dialogue, with words like:
- Know;
- Process;
- Consider;
- Decide;
- Understand;
- Experience;
- Learn;
- Motivate;
- Change;
- Perceive;
Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, and you will rarely hear predicates drawn from just one representational system in a conversation that is more than a few minutes long, but if you keep your ears open for the general trends you will know which key words to focus on in your response to a prospect or client and you will find that your close rate improves dramatically.
After all, good sales people are constantly improving their skills, and one of the most vital skills in any sales situation is developing rapport with the other person – otherwise you end up with a high return rate once your prospects have a chance to get away from your overpowering personality.
Before we close, I’d like to remind you that your preferred Internal Representation System is not fixed. It can shift over time and even from day to day, so this is a guide, not a box to place yourself or others into. During Confident Closing workshops we use a short diagnostic test to help participants identify their preferred Internal Representation System, but we stress the importance of expanding your vocabulary, and becoming more flexible in this area of communication.
Meta Description: The words you use make up less than 10% of your total communication, yet they are powerful tool in building rapport and understanding the things that matter to your people within minutes of starting a conversation with them.
Book your complimentary 30-minute Discovery Session with Chandell.
By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales
#TuesdayTips
What if this were the last year of your life – if you knew that on December 31st 2019 your life would end…
- What would you want to look back on?
- What would you do differently?
- What would you want to accomplish in the next 12 months?
- Who would you want to spend time with?
- How do you want to feel?
I believe that S.M.A.R.T. Goals are really important, but sometimes they feel a bit clinical. So I think the ‘Live As Though This Was The Last Year of Your Life’ idea adds a whole new sense of urgency to the goal-setting process, although some people find it very confronting.
There are a lot of posts about ‘legacy work’ and the idea of thinking ahead to what you want people to say at your funeral which I think help put this life into perspective, but they can also be hard to get your head around, so I came up with this idea of setting 12 month goals, using the:
- S.M.A.R.T. Framework;
- Where You Are Today as a Starting Point; and
- 31st of December as an End Point.
This has nothing to do with fighting illness, or anticipating death, and everything to do with creating an ambitiously realistic plan for next year.
If you start today, you have more than a month to get your goals down on paper before the end of this year, so you can have them staring you in the face on January 1st and every day that follows.
Start by thinking about the various aspects of your life:
- Mental;
- Physical;
- Spiritual;
- Career;
- Social;
- Financial;
- Family;
For each area of your life think of the single outcome you most desire – something that can be achieved in just 12 months if you focus on it.
Now write it as a S.M.A.R.T. Goal –
- Specific – clearly stated in precise terms
- Measurable – you can tell if you have achieved it or not
- Achievable – it is possible
- Realistic – not only is it possible, it is possible for you given your circumstances
- Timely – there is a date attached to it – 31st December 2019.
New Year is the time when I like to look at the totality of my life for the year to come and set a single goal in each area. Once I have the big picture I’ll look at milestones and actions for each.
Just because you are setting a 12 month goal doesn’t mean that your goal will be small – it just means that it won’t involve going from 0 to a Nobel Prize in one year. On the other hand, 365 days to overnight success is quite achievable … if you work hard and focus on taking appropriate actions.
What’s the Point?
The point is that if you aim at nothing you’ll hit it … every single time!
If you want your life to count … if you don’t want to come to the end of your days and say, ‘Is this all there was and all I did?’ then you need to set some goals. It doesn’t matter whether your 12 month goal is to get married, make a million dollars, build a log cabin, or stop the whaling industry: if you only had these 12 months to live, what would you do to bring your goal closer to realisation?
Once you’ve set your goals in each of these areas you need to actively visualise them and plant them in your timeline. I talked about this in “Taking S.M.A.R.T. Goals One Step Further” and in my Confident Closing Workshops we demonstrate how to plant these goals in your timeline so that your unconscious mind guides you very powerfully in the direction you have chosen. If you haven’t heard of this before you can sign up for our next Confident Closing Workshop which will be held in January.
This is a truly powerful process because it takes the burden off your will. You are still responsible for your daily actions, but your unconscious mind helps you get there once you have told it where it is going.
Why not make 2019 the year you make deliberate progress in your chosen direction by living as though it were the last year of your life?
Meta Description: Make your life count. Make your S.M.A.R.T. Goals even smarter by adding urgency and sensory power to them and make a difference in the world this year.
Book your complimentary 30-minute Discovery Session with Chandell.
By popular demand we have turned many of our multi-day workshops into multi-week online courses with a live day to kick them off. Learn more at https://businessgrowth.mykajabi.com/masteryoursales
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