“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.”
~ Viktor E. Frankl
3 Keys to Commanding Your Success
I’ve been thinking a lot about success and ways to control it recently.
The events of the past six months, have shaken many people to the depths of their being and caused them to re-examine their values, dreams, goals, health and relationships – every aspect of their lives, really. Forces outside our control including the actions of governments tempt us to cede even more of our autonomy than is technically demanded which is where I turned to Viktor Frankl. As you may know, Frankl was a Jewish psychotherapist who was sent to a Nazi concentration camp – and, if you remember much from history, you’ll know that there wasn’t much left that you could control under those circumstances! I’m not comparing our situation to his, but it made me ask the question:
What if we accept the challenge to change ourselves before we are unable to change our situation?
As I’ve reflected on this and coached people through the past few months, I’ve seen very clearly that although success is not a one-dimensional affair – as people whose career or travel or relationship plans were disrupted realised – and although everyone has different definitions of success, there are KEYS to SUCCESS that every person can control.
#1 Building Helpful Habits
Did you know that there are scientific studies about the affect of habits on your outcomes in every area of life – including your health, fitness, grades, relationships, career and income prospects?
Some of their findings when it comes to bad habits are pretty scary, too!
I was reading one study that talked about a common habit that most people aren’t even aware they have, that causes their brain function to fluctuate by up to 40% over the course of an average work day and that is often linked to insomnia and other sleep issues. What this means, is that your unconscious habits are controlling and may be silently undermining your goals. If you don’t pay attention, by time you realise what is happening it may be too late.
You see, a few weeks ago, I was talking to one of my favourite clients on Zoom, and Martin told me about a focus habit that he had developed unconsciously that almost landed him on daily insulin injections. He was struggling to follow his doctor’s orders to avoid that terrible fate so we identified the habit that was tripping him up and set up an alternative pathway. The other day I talked to him again and his doctor was SHOCKED!!! to see his numbers in such good shape. Insulin is no longer in his immediate future, but he’s sticking to the new habit chain that got him off the hook.
The thing I love about focusing on habits is that once you get them set up they’ll carry you in the direction you want to go easily and effortlessly until you decide differently. Watching people implement my NLP-powered habit formation technique and seeing the changes they experience is always extremely exciting.
#2 Cementing a Positive Mindset
A person who truly understands the principle that “Energy flows where attention goes;” will focus on positive goals and outcomes and consider the tasks and milestones that will get them to their destination. That person won’t ignore the obstacles standing in their way, but will recognise their ability to figure out a path and surmount them.
You cannot ‘affirm your way to success’, you need to work your way there. If you focus on all the problems and things that might go wrong and might derail your progress, then the work you need to do becomes crushing. There is research on olympic athletes that documents their path from mere excellence to gold medal status based more on their attitude transformation than from any new training regimen.
Cultivating a positive, optimistic, outlook doesn’t remove problems from your path, but it means that you are hyper-focused on solving those problems and reaching your goals. Honestly, I’ve never heard of a pessimist who was also a success because ultimately pessimism saps your will to persevere and diverts your focus away from your goal.
#3 Deciding to Take Control
Ultimately, the choice is yours: You can either let other people control your life, attitude, and outcomes, or you can take control yourself.
Granted, there are things you can’t control, but the things that you can control are the gamechangers.
Here are 3 questions to help you make that decision, and take action to solidify your results:
- What does success look like?
- What do I need to do to create that success?
- What obstacles are standing in my way?
If you feel like you’ve already ‘made it’, here’s a quick tip: studies suggest that people feel happier and more successful when they have a challenge to surmount, so set your sight higher and focus on the positive actions you will take to reach your new goal.
If all you can see is road blocks and obstacles, then it’s time for a positivity check: What is one positive thing you can focus on and one positive action you can take that will move you closer to your goal.
If you do this, I promise that you will feel more refreshed, motivated, and energised and ready to keep pursuing your goals.
NLP Mastery Academy
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