80% of People Do This Without Realising What They Are Doing
People frequently come up to me after hearing me present this talk at seminars and say something like, “I love your message, but I can’t even find all the clustered beliefs that are tying me up in knots and stopping me from achieving my potential! What can I do?”
The question is triggered by their realisation that, like the majority of the population, circumstances and life experience have built up unconscious patterns that are sabotaging their success.
Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
Wendy, one of my clients had a problem with procrastination. She’s amazingly skilled at her core proficiency, and has deep skill in other areas as well, yet she’s constantly finishing things up at the last minute and racing the clock to fulfil her commitments. This isn’t great for her reputation, her health, or her own self-image.
Wendy had tried every productivity hack on the planet as far as I could tell, and every defeat dug the seeds of doubt and procrastination more deeply into her mind because they entrenched her belief about what she could and (mostly) what she couldn’t change or do. It was a classic case of “one step forward, two steps back” with the added twist that every one of these steps back gave her unconscious mind more ammunition to use against her.
Awareness is NOT Enough!
Even when Wendy realised what she was doing and the cost she was paying for it very little changed. As she said, “The power of my past is just too strong for me. Something happens, and before I know it the flow of habit sweeps me into that same sequence of self-sabotage. It’s not evil, or cruel, or morally outrageous, but it’s incredibly destructive… and I can’t beat it!”
BUT… There is a Solution!
On a Profitable Business Accelerator (PBA) live call a couple of months ago, we used a simple process to help each of our participants (including Wendy) let go of the clusters of beliefs and behaviours that were no longer serving them.
This is How it all Starts…
- An interaction doesn’t turn out the way you want it to… you lose a sale, break up with a lover, argue with a friend, are disappointed by your kids, break your mum’s favourite vase etc.
- Your itty-bitt-shitty committee tells you… what a bad person you are, how you always mess things up and fail, that you’re selfish, that you’ll never succeed in life, and your kids will end up a mess etc.
- A similar situation rolls around… and your itty-bitt-shitty committee leaps into action reminding you of all your past failures, horrible outcomes, and what a bad person you are;
- You follow the prompts made by your unconscious mind… and history repeats itself. Again, and again, and again, each time reinforcing your internal chatter and your external behaviour.
This pattern is developed early in life and your reactions are strongly influenced by the expectations and responses of people around you in early childhood. It can be reversed, but the usual way of doing so is one incident at a time: a slow painstaking process, that unfortunately is rarely effective because you deal with a couple of situations, but there are always new ones popping up and reinforcing the old patterns before they are obliterated.
The process we use is like peeling velcro apart: it rips all the hooks and claws apart in a few minutes so that you are ready for a fresh start the next time a similar situation emerges and can choose your behaviour freely. It sounds brutal, but it’s incredibly freeing.
As you know, I’m all about empowering my clients and facilitating their success. Nothing worthwhile comes without work, but if you can get your Unconscious Mind supporting you in the background (rather than sabotaging your efforts), then suddenly your work becomes easier and your results are more satisfactory.
If you’ve done your NLP Practitioner or Master Practitioner Certification with LifePuzzle you’ve already experienced the energising power of this process.
A Quick Self-Evaluation:
What patterns of behaviour are you are running that aren’t serving you?
Stop looking at them as individual incidents and notice how they cluster together.
When your itty-bitt-shitty committee starts whispering negative thoughts in your ear, ask yourself:
- What is this particular situation or behaviour an example of? and
- What can I learn from this situation or behaviour?
Once you spot connections and identify the clusters of similar behaviours you’ll be able to dissolve them all using Time Line Therapy® and create the future you really want.