“The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.”
~ William James
Are You REALLY Getting Closer to the Life of Your Dreams?
Time is one of the most powerful creative forces… And one of the most powerful destructive forces. It all depends how you use it.
I could dive deep into the philosophy of growth and decay… But I want to focus on the change you can control so I’ll just say it briefly:
“Every day, you are either moving closer to your dreams or further away. It all depends on the direction in which you are heading. Time can increase the effect of your choice, but you control the direction.”
If you are letting the days slide by without taking deliberate actions – both large and small – to move in the direction you choose then time is not your friend. You know it’s true. You can see it reflected in your:
- Career or Business
- House (maintenance and cleanliness)…
You get the idea. If you just let any of these areas go, they usually decline.
The same is true when it comes to building the life of your dreams: it won’t happen without discipline and direction.
Do You Even Know What You Want?
I was talking to a friend the other day about this. Ellie is a successful VP who is earning a great salary, has lots of perks, plenty of room to move up the ladder, a partner who adores her…
BUT when she looks at her life she says to herself, “Is this all there is?”
I asked her what she really wanted and she shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I just know that what I have isn’t enough. You’re probably going to say that I ought to be grateful for having so much and stop complaining… Or write in a gratitude journal or something, Chandell. Please don’t.”
Now that’s a problem!
We’ll come back to Ellie later, but first I want to tell you about Seth. Seth had truly made himself a success. He was the first person in his family to go to university (his father was in and out of prison while he grew up) and he completed his Law degree with high honours. He quickly rose up in his top tier law firm and he was on the fast track to partnership (a long-term goal of his).
One day he looked around at all he had made for himself: career, relationship, wealth, opportunity, hobbies, respect… And said, “Is this all there is?”
And… one of Seth’s hobbies is hiking. Not just anywhere, but hiking in the mountains where the distant view is always more alluring than the near view.
Seth applied that understanding to set a next goal for himself – not an ultimate goal, but a next goal. He could have said to himself, “I’ve arrived and it’s not all it cracked up to be.” But he didn’t. Instead he took control of his future and the attitudes of his mind.
You Don’t Need to Stay Where You Are!
Wherever you are today and however you feel about that, you don’t need to spend the rest of your life in that place (and I’m using ‘place’ to cover mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual options). You can change and you really don’t need anyone to help you (although a mentor or coach is often a tremendous benefit.
You don’t even need to relocate physically to create momentum and direction in your life. You just need to make that mental switch from a ‘victim’ (with a long list of reasons why), to a ‘victor’ with a short list of things to do and an even shorter list of attitudes to cultivate!
It’s NOT (Just) About Gratitude!
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not against gratitude journals and I think about things I’m grateful for every day and usually write them down. Gratitude won’t help you reach for the stars, though. It’s more likely to keep you earthbound unless you are careful because energy flows where attention goes and if you focus too much on being grateful for what you have, you won’t take the next step.
As Ellie and I continued our conversation she realised that she simply wasn’t all that interested in the next step on the corporate ladder. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do it, it was just that the higher she climbed the less she was involved in the parts of her work she loved.
By the time we finished that conversation she knew what she wanted… And she had a plan to get it… And her enthusiasm and vigour were back in full force.
Externally, nothing changed for Ellie. The change in her attitude has already started to bear fruit.
What About You?
Ellie went through a process called a H.O.W.T.O. Session with me. It’s a 90-minute paid session that brings clarity and helps you focus on what you really want so that you can make the decisions you need to make. In that short time, she was able to articulate and recognise what was really bothering her and do something about it.
If that sound like something you need you can book a session using the button below.