Asking for help? Here's a useful reframe for those lacking confidence...

I have had a couple of sessions this week where clients told me that they have trouble asking for help.
Being in a job where my whole intention and service is around helping people to get what they want, I have the methodology that when it's ok to help (and you have the resources to help) - you give and, if you need help you ask and trust that the right person to assist you will gladly come to your aid.

Asking my clients what specifically made them feel uncomfortable about asking for help they told me various reasons like, 'I don't want to be a burden' or 'I'm afraid they will say no'.  This led me to thinking about people who hadn't asked me for help until it was too late.  I recalled feeling disappointed that they hadn't felt like they could approach me (as I certainly would have been able to help and would have gladly done so).

So, if you need help and you find yourself not wanting to ask, I suggest that you approach this with a helpful reframe (a process used in NLP to help people see a different meaning/outcome) the situation.
One way of looking at this is that every time you choose to NOT ask someone who can help you - the person (who may very well want to help you) is being robbed of the opportunity to assist you, denied the opportunity to feel good that they could contribute.
When I was working in corporate sales a mentor once told me that "if you don't ask you don't get, at least if you ask you have 50% higher chance of getting want you want."
This was a philosophy that I adopted and it has served me well, and of course I always maintain that if I am in a position to help when someone asks I always will help or point them in the direction of someone else who can.
If you do get a NO, then you can reassess your options BUT remember if you don't ask you will never know what you might have missed out on.

I always remember how good it feels to help someone.  Most people love the feeling of contributing and as such will probably say YES!!

Tips for asking for help:
1. Identify for what purpose you need assistance.  What specifically do you need the person to do and what outcome will it have if they say yes.

2. Once you know the outcome, who is the best person to assist you?  Think of someone who has the resources, knowledge, skills or incentive to offer their time, services, money or knowledge.

3. Contact that person and succinctly tell them what the situation, specifically what you would like them to do and ask permission to assist.

4. Thank them for considering or obliging or if they are unable to help thank them and ask if they know someone who can assist.

BELIEVE |  ACHIEVE | SUCCEED!

Are you confident you can get your results and meet you goals?

Recently chatting with one of my clients regarding the lack of results she had in her business, and the conversation led to activity levels. Her ultimate goal was to achieve a certain status by the end of the year and when asked how confident she was of achieving her goal she said she wasn’t confident at all. Asking questions about what lead to the lack of confidence she said “the achievement my goal is too dependent on other people performing and achieving their sales targets so have no control over that”.
This statement got me thinking about how many people are running around feeling sorry for themselves, making excuses about why they can’t have what they want. Some are even pointing the finger at the people who let them down or stopped them from getting it.

In my experience, there are two kinds of people; the people who produce results and the people who have reasons and justifications for why they don’t have what they want (results). The question that I am posing to you today is: Which one are you? Do you have reasons or do you have results? Are you confident that you can get your results?
Don’t get me wrong, This is not a question of being positive all the time, it’s also NOT about being unrealistic (because sometimes life happens, your small child might be ill and needs your care or perhaps there is something that in your opinion just takes precedence over what you have committed to achieve today). The real question is… if something gets in your way, Are you prepared to ramp up your activity for the time you spent doing whatever it was that you deemed more important?
When I first started Life Puzzle (over 6 years ago) I had a situation with a client who ran up a bill for $15K worth of consulting with me and then claimed that she had no obligation to pay the bill. The bottom line was that this client had gained a great deal of value from our interaction and I had been so excited about the opportunity to deliver the project that I neglected my normal protocols of obtaining a signed agreement etc.
Long story short, I was left with a significant cash flow deficit in my business and a challenge to recoup those funds in some way within a month. The way I saw it at the time, I had two choices; 1. Complain and play the victim at how this woman had no integrity and ‘oh what a poor person I am for doing all that work and being cheated that way’(blah blah blah) or 2. Learn my lesson and take action to create a solution.
Being a person who prefers Results to Reasons I quickly set about option 2. Learn my lesson and take action to repair it and followed these steps:

1. I made a plan to generate more sales in my business. I made a list of all of the prospects, what I could do to help them and the dollar figure of the revenue of what each prospect represented. Also knowing that not all of my prospects were guaranteed to come through, I over estimated my prospect list to the total value of $30K.
2. I put the goal in my future I then used the Time Line Therapy® Creating Your Future® Process (that I use with my clients) to insert my SMART Goal into my future Time Line to achieve a minimum on $15K worth of sales by the 30th of that month, that year.
3. I started! I took action and called my prospects, I actively sought after that business. I had meetings and I closed sales and collected the money.
4. I didn’t take my foot off the accelerator: I had a goal to meet, each time I felt like I wanted to lose focus or got a little overwhelmed, I came back to my WHY…Remember that you started doing what you were doing for a good reason, something that was meaningful to you. Use this reason to help you get motivated.
5. I held myself accountable – This is the part where most people have trouble, I set out to do a certain amount of activity per day and no matter what happened I kept myself to this level (If you need help in this area, it might be time for you to engage a coach, call us to find out more)
6. Result - As it turned out by the middle of the Month I had closed $15K worth of new business and by the 30th of the Month I had completed $27,000 worth of new business.

So, what do you want? What action do you prepared to take to get it? Will you have reasons for why you didn’t get it or will you have results? Ask yourself now, what’s the next activity that you will complete towards achieving it? Most importantly, will you hold yourself accountable for achieving those results? If the situation changes, will you change too? Will you do whatever level of activity it takes to achieve those results?

As for my client, we followed the same steps and came up with a plan on how she could ensure that she achieved her goal by re-addressing her own activity, keeping herself accountable and setting a positive example to help her team stay accountable. Needless to say, the whole team are all now well on the way towards achieving that goal by the end of 2012!

If you would like to learn some of the strategies I used to create these sales click here to register for the Confident Closing Sales Training on Saturday 25th & 26th February tickets are on sale at a very special reduced rate for a limited time.

What can you see in this photo?

More importantly, what is the meaning that you will attach to this?

Last week I was having one of those days. You know those days when you have a moment of question. It doesn't happen often but occassionally you might ask yourself the question "Am I on the right track?" or "Did I do everything I could do?". In that moment of uncertainty, as I closed the door of my car and walked toward the shop I saw a small piece of paper with the word 'Confidence' written on it. The moment I saw this I realised that this was a message to remind myself to feel confident in my decision and all the uncertaintly instantly faded away.

It occurred to me that with 'confidence' in the gutter so to speak, at another time, I might have seen this and given it another meaning. Perhaps one that would have furthered the doubt or indecision. Luckily (or consciously) I chose to make it a reminder and turn my thoughts into a powerful state, one where I was in control.

The truth is that how we choose to feel and what meaning we want to attach to things is always in our control .

One thing you should always consider is how does your meaning make you feel? Are you empowered by the meaning? How can you reframe the picture?

However you define it, Stress is something that can easily raise its head when life becomes busy.  I recently read this post and it really struck a chord with me. Here it is for you to also enjoy:

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘half empty or half full?’….. she fooled them all… “How heavy is this glass of water?”, she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “and that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night… pick them up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now ’supposed’ stress that you’ve conquered!”

I know what you're thinking...you couldn't possibly put it down could you? Your stress is much more complicated than that, right? Just stop for a minute, is that really true?  Really?  Ask yourself will that big thing that you believe requires your stress today be a big problem in 10 mins? 10 days? 10 years?  Now, think about the energy that you could save and put it down for a moment.  You'll be able to handle it better when you pick it up, or you might just find that you don't have to pick it up at all, perhaps you will just carry on with the solution.

Believe, Achieve, Succeed | Life Puzzle

      Are you one of the 70% ?

So it’s the nearly the end of January in 2011, and your probably saying to yourself  “How the time flies”, right? 
So the question I am asking is how many of you set Resolutions this year, and how many of you have already lost your motivation to follow them through?  The truth is that about 70% of people have already neglected their resolutions by 15^th January.

Recently chatting to a friend we got talking about goals for 2011 which then brought us the subject of New Years Resolutions.  My friend explained that he often sets New Years Resolutions every year and every year they were the same.  Every year, things like; exercising more, living more healthily, spending more time with the family, earning more money, working smarter not harder etc. etc. (Sound familiar?)
When I asked my friend about how much success he had had with that, he laughed and said “None”. 

For most people, setting a New Years Resolution is often the first step to not achieving whatever it is that you think you want to achieve. The reason: because if you are procrastinating to get started on that thing that you want to do then you probably don’t really have the motivation to do it, do you?

So listed below are 7 top reasons why most Resolutions don’t work and what you can do to change that;

1. Not being specific enough about your resolutions. Want to lose weight or earn more or start playing golf? That is all well and good but without becoming more specific about it you’re unlikely to see the results you want. How much weight do you want to lose, and by when? How much more do you want to earn, and by when? What does playing golf specifically mean – once a day, once a month or once a year? With each of your resolutions become really specific about what you want and you will be half way to achieving them.
   
   
2. Not really wanting it. For you to succeed it has to be something that you *really* want for yourself. Is the partner putting pressure on you to quit smoking? It isn’t going to be anywhere near as successful as if you want to quit for your own reasons. Does your Mum think you need to do this or that? Probably not going to work. Work out what you really want and go after it with both hands. Motivation is king when pursuing a resolution.
   
   
3. Not considering the wider consequences. Sure, some of your aspirations may sound good on paper, but what are the wider consequences to your life? Is that resolution really such a good idea if it means not seeing your partner or friends because you’re so busy focusing on it? Or is the resolution going to cost so much you won’t be able to reach your financial goals or pay the bills? Make sure you consider the wider impact on your life of each and every resolution you decide to pursue.
   
   
4. Only trying to achieve them. Try is a funny word. If you think about it, you only successfully try if you don’t achieve it! Try scratch your nose… the minute you actually scratch your nose you’ve stopped trying – it is only trying while you don’t achieve it. So remove that word from your resolutions and actually *do* them. Notice the difference it makes.
   
   
5. Not taking action. It doesn’t matter how well you’ve gone so far this is the one that trips the most people up. To achieve a resolution you must, must, must TAKE ACTION. It isn’t magic, what you do is what gets done. So if you are serious about your resolutions then work out what you need to do next and start taking action right now!
   
   
6. Not being held accountable. I’m sure this isn’t you but have you ever noticed how packed gyms are for the first two weeks of January? Lots of people set out wildly towards their resolutions but after a couple of weeks something happens. And when that something happens they don’t get right back to their resolution, they seem to forget about them. This only happens if you’re not being held accountable! Find a friend, a family member or even a Coach to play this important role. A friendly kick in the arse is often what it takes to make the difference between getting to your resolution or not so make sure there are people that are good at friendly arse kicking in your life!
   
   
7. Not seeing things through to the end. I’ll finish writing more about this one in a couple of days...

So, don’t wait to reset your Resolutions for January 2012, it’s not too late to start RIGHT NOW!  Why don’t you concentrate on being one of the 30% of people who will actually put steps in place to get to where they want to be.  Then go one step further and actually be one of the very few who actually get there.  I would be interested to hear your thoughts and goals (if you would like to share them via the comments below) and if you need a bit of assistance to get started, feel free to contact me at chandell@lifepuzzle.com.au  or you can Skype me at chanie_lifepuzzle

    
      Did you know?

Life Puzzle offers a 100% Money back Guarantee on all of the individual coaching programs we offer.  So what are you waiting for?  You could have a Life Coach to help you bulldoze through the barriers that keep you from getting what you want now.  Give me a call on 03 9547 9070 and find out how you can make your goals your reality.

When searching for a new job, most people are generally at the end of their tether with their current one.

"My boss is driving me crazy", "I'm not appreciated/recognised in my job", "I asked for more money and they said no"...sound familiar? As a Success and Performance Coach, I've observed many clients shoot out dozens of CV's to any position that looks slightly better than the one they are in, simply because of their ‘emotional reaction’ to their current position. Most of the time, due to the urgency, they neglect two of the most important parts of the application process: Research and the Cover Letter.


In the current market, Dean Salomone, Director at Franchise Careers explains "you need to do your homework about the organisation, culture, growth and marketplace perception if you want to make an impression". Dean also cautions “If you adopt a scattergun approach to finding employment, you will more than likely end up with a similar result.” Dean says, “I look for a candidate who can clearly articulate what major achievements have been realised whilst undertaking their previous roles”.
As a result of receiving hundreds of applications for jobs, Recruiters and HR Managers often need to see something a little different to make them remember you. On average, a maximum of 1-3 mins is spent reading a Cover Letter and only about 5-7 mins to shortlist applicant resumes. Portraying your personality and smarts in your application is important as Dean says, “if you can’t stand out from the crowd from the outset, don’t expect to afterwards”.


If you do your homework and write a knock out cover letter that clearly matches your skills with the ones the employer/recruiter is seeking, you will be in a much better position to get a call back for an interview. Dean advises that a great cover letter “should state clearly the reasons why you are applying for a specific role and you shouldn’t use a generic cover letter”.

So, in order to write a knock out cover letter that will increase the likelihood of a call back you should follow these 5 easy steps:

1. Prepare & Search: Once you have updated and perfected your CV, search for jobs that you are interested in. As best you can, find roles that are seeking the skills and attitude that you already posses. (Make sure that the job/industry is something you are passionate about, as your passion will help your impression at the interview)

2. Identify what they want: When you locate a job that you like, read through the ad carefully and highlight key words that relate directly to your attitude, your skills set and your past experience. Do some research on the company, as this will assist you when personalising your cover letter.

3. Match what they want with YOU: Come back to the words that you have highlighted in the job ad. Reflect on past roles where you might have demonstrated that experience. (Note: you do not necessarily need to have held that job title previously to have demonstrated the skills they are seeking) Start to create small paragraphs outlining these examples and where possible use the keywords that you found in the job ad.

4. Personalise and write your Letter: Don’t use a generic letter. Writing a personalised cover letter for each application can take some time (it will all be worth it when you’re in your perfect new job) however this will demonstrate that you have done your homework and research.

   When writing your cover letter, keep it to 1-2 pages maximum, ideally you would have 3 or 4 paragraphs with a few sentences in each.

   Be specific: Make sure that you outline a few of the following things in your letter:

   (a) what do you know about the company/why do you think you would be a valuable asset?

   (b) what strengths you have demonstrated in the past that would be relevant to them

   (c) what other achievements/affiliations do you have that would support your application i.e. community involvement, sporting groups, local chamber of commerce etc.

   (d) what are some of your character traits (make sure that you are honest here)

   (e) if you don’t have experience in this area why should they consider you?

5. Proof, Edit & Send! There is nothing worse than a brilliant letter with spelling mistakes! Now that you have spent the time and effort to write a great letter, make sure that you spend that extra few minutes to check the grammar and spelling. First impressions can be everything, so you might even ask someone else to read it before you send it, just to be sure you didn’t miss anything.

Stay positive and happy job hunting!

www.franchisecareers.com.au  
Franchise Careers is a specialist Recruitment Agency working with Franchisor and Licensor organisations throughout Australia in helping source Operational and Development Personnel. Other core Services of Franchise Careers are Public Relations, Learning and Development Solutions and Franchise Consulting.

Dean Salomone, Director of Franchise Careers is also the President of the Victorian/Tasmania Chapter of the Franchise Council of Australia (FCA) www.franchise.org.au  

www.lifepuzzle.com.au  
Life Puzzle is dedicated to empowering people to ‘bulldoze’ through the barriers that keep them from getting what they want. For further assistance, contact us info@lifepuzzle.com.au

Chandell Labbozzetta is a Master Practitioner/Coach of NLP, Hypnosis & Time Line Therapy™ to find out more about how Chandell can help you get results go to www.lifepuzzle.com.au